Introducing...

FRIED CHICKEN JUST TEND TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT LIFE!!!

2012-01-13T17:17:00.000-08:00

True story about fried chicken. It's my most favorite food. Ever. Crispy, golden, succulent, juicy, delicious. I love it. Fried chicken is one of those comfort food that make you feel secure, happy and loved.

Remember this guy? Nothing like taking him on a picnic to the park with the family for Memorial Day, July 4th, After t-ball games and softball practice. A bucket of the colonial best was always the main for a picnic.

There is something special about Sundays and holidays. People stereotype African Americans with the dish but it was roaming around Europe way back in Midieval times. The English preferred it boiled or back but it was the Scottish who introduced fried chicken to the United states when they immigrated to the southern states.
As slaves were brought to America work on southern plantations, those who worked as cooks added spices and seasonings that weren't used in Scottish cooking. Most slaves were only given or allowed to keep cheap meat sources such as the boney parts of animals such as the ribs, tongue, hocks, tails, and entrails (chitlins) of Pigs and Cows. And they were usually allowed to keep and breed chickens. African communities in the southern states friend chicken on special occasions.

Back in the day people realized fried chicken too longer to spoil and was great for traveling. The recipe is easy and timeless and hasn't really changed much at all. Fried chicken is still popular for Sunday dinner and it is also served on holidays such as Independence Day.
In actuality Minny was right: Fried chicken really does make you tend to feel better about life.

I watched the help for the first time 2 days before Christmas. My daughter watched it with me. When it came to the part of where Minny was teaching how to fry chicken my daughter looked at me and said.."That's so you! You and your friend Chicken! HEY we should have it for Christmas dinner!" We had been trying to come up with our Christmas Dinner Menu. Minny made that chicken look so good we did, indeed, have fried chicken for Christmas dinner. And it did make us feel better about life.

So in honor of this succulent bird that is so well loved, anytime I need to feel better about life, I'm all about the fried chicken!

STINK! STANK! STUNK!

2011-12-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

A friend posed this question today: "Who is the Grinch in your life this year?" So I got to thinking... "YEAH!Who IS the Grinch in my life this year?" I got to thinking of the people around me and the complaining and bitching and drama I get to observe every day. For the most part I'm used to it but then a nagging little voice in my head broke through and chimed in: I'm the Grinch in my life this year. I've been told I've been a little bitchy since about Thanksgiving. I can't even deny it. I've been edgy irritable and a little sad. The Season started off with a broken foot and a death. And the frustration of not being able to get my mail key after, Oh let's see we're goin on 2 months now. I truck up the post office about twice a week to get all of my "time sensitive" mail. I couldn't get to the post office very often the 3 weeks my foot was in the boot. So I missed a few deadlines when it came to some home warranty extensions and those kinds of things. My old appartment complex is pimping me for $500 because they decided it was time to change the carpet in the apt I moved out of and claims there were stains they couldn't get out. Both stains were powder. yeah, that's right POWDER. Powder I was able to vacuum and get out myself a couple other times I spilled while living there. Then 2 Saturday's ago I had 2 flat times. TWO. So I'm feeling a little picked on lately. I know it's just my turn and we all go through stuff.

And there really is no one to blame. With buying a new house, and my car going on the fritz every other month and now the latest events I'm emotionally and mentally spent. I've used my reserves and just felt like I haven't had time to renew. This is an excellent recipe for Grinch Casserole. I've been trying to do little things here and there and they do help but only just a little. My mind is telling me if I want little results to make little attempts. So I think I need to make greater attempts to get greater results.

Today is December 22. I've got 3 days to ungrinch myself. And I know what I have to do to get rid of this Stink, Stank, Stunk feeling. Take a quick look around yourself for that Grinchy person in your life this year. If you can't find them, check out the mirror. If you're grabbing for the razor to shave off that green 5'o clock shadow... have a
MERRY

September 21st My Favorite Day!

2011-09-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

Favorite Day, You say? Why would anyone pick September 21st as a favorite day? I'll tell you why someone would pick today as a favorite day. I'll tell you in 4 words: EARTH WIND AND FIRE! Yeah I'm serious. My favorite band: EARTH WIND AND FIRE. They happen to sing my favorite song: SEPTEMBER! Ok well that might explain why I like the Month of September. But why the DAY September 21? Anyone familiar with song will know this! The very first verse of the song! Let's say it ALL TOGETHER:

Do you remember the
21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away!

Awesome, right? That also happens to be my future wedding date if Marriage ever happens! The beauty of that day? I'll of course open up my wedding reception with my favorite song! PERFECT right? RIGHT?! I have decided Each Year on this Day to throw a party. And Earth Wind and Fire Party! And just laugh and dance the night away. This is the one song that puts me in a great mood no matter what! I just can't sit still when I hear it. Can you? Try it! I DARE YOU! I invite everyone to Borrow my favorite day and my favorite song and laugh and dance the night away. Even if you're just sitting at home, put on some Earth Wind and Fire and DANCE! BOOGIE WONDERLAND! I promise you will not be able to wipe the smile off your face and stop your feet from tapping! Try it! I DARE YA!

Bruisin' On A Sunday Afternoon...(.Cruisin Part II)

2011-08-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

As I was leaving Causey Dam and heading back home from a fabulous day I was moving to pull onto HWY 39 to head back to Ogden. I saw a group of motor cyclist and waited for them to pass before getting on the hwy behind them.

It just so happens this year I've been conscious of sharing the road with bikers and cyclist because if the recent deaths of regarding cyclist and bikers in the Salt Lake Valley. I remembered the signs saying something like "SHARE THE ROAD."

As I was driving I found myself catching up the them pretty quickly. I kind of thought that if I were on a motorcycle I would be a little nervous if a car or truck rolled up on me to the point where it felt like tailgating. So I kept a pretty good distance back, at lest a car length.

(Yes I took a picture because I thought it was cool watching the formations of the bikers going up hill and around corners.)
You couldn't help feeling a little jealousy watching them ride synchronized like a well orchestra ballet. It was such a great day for a roadtrip, couldn't ask for better weather or scenery.
I'm in my car with the air conditioning blowing away and singing at the top of my lungs to the radio.
Out of the corner of my left eye I saw a truck passing me. My heart caught in my throat as I looked in from of me because there was no room for him to go especially at the rate of speed he was traveling. This truck passed me as if I was standing still so I slowed down allowing room for him between me and the cyclist.
This JERKHOLE was going so fast that he didn't immediately slow down. He had to run of the shoulder and slam on his breaks 2 or 3 times so as not to run into the bikers. And even after doing that he was still tailgating them. From behind it looked as if he wss inches away from the 2 bikes directly in front of me. You would think with narrow roads, blind curves Mr Jerkhole would have caught a clue and slowed his row. But nooo, not mr Jerkhole. As soon as an oncoming car passed he ,not even fully in the oncoming lane passed the two bikers he was tailgating and jumped in front of the next group of bikers. When he passed he was very close to the bikes he was passing. I couldn't believe how dangerous this guy was driving. I kind of kept a distance waiting for him to make another dumb-ass move.

We drove without further incident until we got to the main intersection that would direct us back into the Ogden Canyon.

What happened next was like scene from a movie: One of the motorcyclist slowly road up to the side of the truck and said something to the truck driver. Next thing I know the a fist comes flying out of the truck. The biker backed up so as not to get hit. Then dude started backing his truck and then turns towards the one biker who scrambles out of the way. Then the truck turns and starts reversing towards the other group of bikers in front of my car. They have to scramble and reverse out of the way which means the truck is now backing up towards me.

IT JUST GOT PERSONAL! I was minding my own business trying to stay out of other people's business but this Dumb-ass just put me in their business.The truck suddenly stops and dude jumps out and charges the bikers and starts swinging on them.
I guess I got my other dumb-ass move. One of the bikers took one swing and then blood all over. By this time the intersection is blocked: Because dumb-ass' truck blocked most of the road, and cars were stopping to call the police and stop the fighting. Dumb-ass truck driver suddenly jumps back in his truck and drives away. I pull my car as much as I can to the shoulder and flip my hazards on. Another spectator called 911. We gathered on the side of the road waiting for authorities to show up. I decided if police were getting involved I wanted to be a witness.

Someone from the parks and forest services showed up first. He got the details of the situation and radio'd the Sheriff's department. He asked everyone who had stopped what the situation was. Most stopped because of the fighting in the middle of the intersection. Since I saw everything from the time jerkhole passed me until the time he pulled away hw asked if I would stay to give my statement to the police. I didn't have one problem getting someone like that off the roads, before he kills someone. I was able to get some of what happened on my camera.
Within a few minutes a police showed up and everyone began to relay the experience to him. He let us know they were able to find Dumb-ass and he was in police custody down the street at the Chevron and asked if we all wouldn't mind driving down there to speak to the over officers.
We drove to the Chevron and there was a paramedic, firetruck, police car and a man in hand cuff's around the side of the building.

(Dumb-ass is being blocked by the officer giving him a drink of water)

The officer who was with us at the intersection went and spoke to the officers who had dumb-ass in cuff's around the other side of the building. After a few moments he asked to speak to me and wanted to know what I witnessed. I relayed to him what happened. After asking the group if they wanted to press charges he asked if I could give an official statement. I agreed. It appears Dumb-ass said the reason he jumped out of his truck was because the biker who rolled up to his window threw a punch at him.
Does this make sense to you: A man sitting on a motorcycle sitting at least 2 feet lower and 3ft away throwing a punch at someone in 1/4 ton pick up truck? I DON'T THINK SO!
The officer agreed. In time 2 other officers would come and ask me again to relay to them what happened. Each time they asked me if I was sure Dumb-ass threw the first punch. Dumb-ass jumped out of his truck swinging. There was really no question who the aggressor was. The motorcyclists were pretty much on their bikes the whole time until he started swinging on the 2 women. I believe the Biker who connected to his fist to dumb-ass' nose was on his bike when he did it. (but I'm willing to be wrong)
Finally 2.5 hours later the police had the evidence and statements they needed make their reports. They asked me to be prepared to be summons back to Huntsville if dumb-ass keeps being a dumb-ass. I'm prepared to do that. Because we also find out during this whole process Dumb-ass had an "opened container." While driving. WOW, REALLY! BONUS! That's just icing in the Dumb-ass cake if you ask me.
I think most people would have just went along their merry way with a story to tell. I believe if more people stopped minding their own business when things like this happened the country wouldn't be going to hell. We have an obligation to stand up to those dumb-asses in the world and let them know we're not going to just stand down and let them get away with stuff like this. All the devil needs to get ahead in this world is for good people to stand around... and do nothing.
The good thing about this whole incident?

I met some really cool people, who, just like me, were Cruisin, on a Sunday afternoon!

Cruizin... On A Sunday Afternoon...! Part I

2011-08-22T16:54:00.000-07:00

Woke up to a beautiful Sabbath on 8/21/2011. Got my praise one in the morning and decided to take a little road trip. What better way to remember the Lord than to be out in his country enjoying his creations. I jumped on I-15 and headed north. No particular place in mind. Just the desire to soak up the last bit of the weekend before the Monday grind. I found myself headed toward Ogden. I’d heard of a camping location up that way and wanted to check it out. Before hand I kind of just drove around the city and the neighborhood where at family home sits. After my quick tour of the city I headed East toward Ogden Canyon. If you’ve never taken this drive you gotta do it. Not only is it a gorgeous view it has elements of danger: Sharp curves, falling rocks…not just rocks… boulders from the eroding mountain ranges from above that have landed in the road and moved to the side.

I hoped this particular road trip was going to be an adventure. The plan was to just go where I have never been before and see where I end up. There’s road construction going into the canyon which is always a delightful joy. Once you get passed it the drive is quite refreshing. This will not be a boring drive and will keep you on your toes.

I came upon a place called Pine View Reservoir and a camping ground Called Anderson Cover. This will become a spot on my list of places to go camping. Its beautiful with the lakes in the background. I had seen the Reservoir and the dam before, but never went passed it. Little did I know I was selling myself short. I have sense learned there is great adventure in the phrase…” let’s just keep going and see what’s up ahead!” That’s exactly what I did. I continued passed Anderson Cove and decided to take the next left turn that came around. The left turn had me then headed north. I traveled North for a small while and decided North looked boring and decided to turn at the next intersection. I took a left and was immediately fascinated by the building and the signs I saw.

I had hit the little town of Huntsville, Ut. I parked my care at Huntsville Square, grabbed my camera and started talking. The air was hot but there was a cool breeze dancing around the sleeves of my blouse causing them to tickle my arm.
I passed a dentist office that looked as if it was façade from “Little House On The Prairie” and right next to it was a bbq house.

I turned the corner and across the street was a small building: Ogden Valley Community Church. I was small and cozy. Visions of a 1 room chapel danced across my mind .

I continued down the block and across the street and before me was the Shooting Star Saloon lined with Motorcycles with laughter and music floating outside from the windows.

Then I turned the corner I saw more of the “Walnut Grove” houses with rustic relics on the houses and in the well manicured lawns. It was truly a step into Norman Rockwell-ville and Old school Americana. I was content and a peace with myself and the world.

I walked the streets and drove the neighborhood and encountered horses,

beautiful lake front homes,

an elderly woman in Pajama’s walking down the street with empty water containers

and a tiny vegetable stand with summer and zucchini squash on it next to a sign with the word “FREE” next to it!

For a moment I wished it was my neighborhood. After about an hour of peaceful roaming I headed back to the intersection that led me to this place and decided to see what the East side has in store for me. The roads were windy and reminded me of the snake river. Along the way there were several turn outs for Camping sites. Cache National Forest: Magpie, Monte Cristo, South fork, perception park, Meadows, Willow.... some of the places were very dense with trees and brush. Once again getting restless with the winding of the road, I decided to turn off at the next main intersection.

But instead I got off on a turn out and headed up a steep incline. The road is immediately narrow with very little visibility in front of me because of the winding around the side of the mountain. A little bit nervous, I press the gas. I'm in intrigued as to where this road will take me. There's a turn out to the right that levels off to less dangerously entry way and I can see several cars parked on what seems to be ledge. Of course I continue up the narrow steep incline. On the passenger side of me, a rail and a steep drop off. On the driver's side the oncoming traffic lane and a mountain. For the most part very little shoulder on each side.

One Thing you learn when traveling narrow mountain roads: You gotta commit! There is no u turning in situations like this and backing up it out of the question. When faced with this kind of thing, you must be sure you are willing to go the distance because the only way out is whatever way you find at the end of the road, sometimes you get a place to turn around on the other end, sometimes the road takes you a scenic byway that ends across the state line. Personally I recommend exploring every wrong turn because it may actually a correct turn. In my case, it was.
I crested a hill and spotted a place with a small shoulder to the side and decided to pull of and see what was over the side of the cliff I was driving on. What I found was absolutely breath taking.

I couldn't stop taking pictures of this place.
I jumped in the car and continued on anxious to see more

<

I looked around and finally got some inkling of where I was:

Still No idea where I was at this point. That Sign meant nothing to me! I lingered at this location for a while and walked down a dirt path to the bridge where the water fall was. I stood on the bridge enjoying the breeze and the mist of the water.

(crystal clear water)

(Off the bridge over the waterfall)

After walking around soaking up the Sun and taking in the Scenery, I recognized it was getting late and I probably needed to head back down to Salt Lake. Much to my reluctance I jumped back into my car and began to head home. It was a perfect day of solitude and peace... UNTIL...(to be continued)

Reinstating Shoe Polish 2

2011-05-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

I DID IT! I REINSTATED SHOE POLISH! And it Planted a seed inside of me!

It sounds a little silly I know but I have felt a HUGE sense excitement and accomplishment. For some reason it was empowering! I feel like I can put on my newly polished shoes, go out into the community and give it a new coat of polish as well.

It's amazing what we can do if we just start. It doesn't have to be something HUGE either. Remember when I mentioned in Shoe Polish 1 how simple things can create more economy? Let me tell you about a little 5 year old girl in an apartment complex I lived in about 15 years ago. One early spring day she was eating watermelon and decided to keep and plant the seeds.
She told her mommmy:
"I'm going outside to plant my seeds!"
And her mommy who was doing the dishes and not really paying attention didn't really think anything of it.Until she heard the door close. She watched her daughter go to the side of the apartment where they lived and dig a small shallow hole with a plastic spoon. Her daughter then dumped a pile of seeds into the shallow hole and then scooped a cup of dirt on top and then a small cup of water. And she ran back in and told her Mommy what she did!

"that's nice baby girl" said her mommmy and went back to doing house work.

Every couple days the little girl would announce she's going to water her seeds. The Mom didn't pay too much attention to it and eventually forgot about it.
About 3 months later the mother and all the other tenants of the apartment complex noticed a vine sort of growing around the staircase and getting caught around their legs when going and coming up the stairs. There was talk amongst the tenants of yanking it out and where had it come from. Then one day while the tenants were sitting out in the lawn enjoying a hot summer day the little girl came out of the house with a little cup of water. The mommy remembered...and explained;
"OH NOO! I think that vine we've all been tripping under is a watermelon plant!"
No longer annoyed, excitement started to ripple through the apartment complex. The mommy would come home from work and find some of tenants weeding and care for the plant. It began to bloom and excitement grew as everyone waited patiently for the sweet fruit of the summer to ripen and grown.
Finally when the time was right the apartment complex for the later part of the summer watermelon. It was such a great amazing treat! When the apartment manager learned what happened he was tickled to death. The next spring he pulled out the bushes in front of the complex and planted zucchini, the state vegetable of Utah. There were many types of families living in this complex: single parents, Older couples, Children caring for elderly parents, Newly weds and New parents all in various financial circumstances. Many were able to have extra meals on their tables from this simple act of kindness.

When the little girl and her mommy moved away the apartment complex was still enjoying that little tradition. All because a little girl planted water melon seeds one day.
It doesn't take much, Whether it be Watermelon seeds, Shoe polish or even a little kool-aid stand on the corner with little kids trying to earn enough money to buy their Mommy or Daddy a birthday present. We have it in use to create great community spirit that can cause a ripple effect within this great nation.
I hope everyone will begin to exercise your right to reinstate shoe polish.

And if you do, I would LOVE for you to share your comments and stories.

Shoe Polish! I'm Reinstating Shoe Polish!

2011-05-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not kidding either. Today I got excited about shoe polish and then has this whole new epiphany on why the economy is horrible. I could sit here and blame the government on over sending but I'm convinced that ain't it. I think it's more personal than that. It begins with our homes and our communities.
I looked down at my shoes this morning and they were pretty badly scuffed. I think I need a new pair.
My mind went back in the days of my father getting ready for church Sunday morning. It almost always involved his shoe polish kit. He would get out the black shoe polish, his shoe rag and his brush. Carefully put the polish in the spots that need it and brush the scuffs away and shine them babies up nice and smart!

Then my thoughts went back to the days where you would see the shoe shine boys/ men with their gear waiting and ready to do a quick shoe shine while others waited to catch a bus, cab, train or plain. Back in the day, this was a business man earning his living or supplementing his income by shining shoes and possibly another businessman proud to hire him for his services. It was a service that fulfilled a small need. It was citizens creating and fulfilling jobs and feeding the economy, simply by shining shoes.
Thoughts of the shoe shine boy carried my thoughts over to shoe repair shops. Remember when Grandpa would take his shoes around the corner to the shoe repair shop to have them resoled or or have the heels put back on Grandma's pumps. Instead of spending the money on new shoes they repaired the old one's good as new for pennies on the dollar. And used them another 5 years.
After my mind marinated a while at the shoe repair shop is wandered over to the "MR FIXIT SHOP." Do some of you remember those small repair shops just in the back porch of old Mr Johnson's house? It would be full of vacuum cleaners, blenders, toasters,coffee makers and other small appliances needing repair? If he couldn't fix it, it wasn't really broke! Instead of spending the money on buying a new one Mr Johnson would work his magic and have it back to you in week!

Mr Fixit shops were business men who serviced the community while saving us a few dollars on our everyday can't live without favorite appliances. Where have they gone? I'm going to try and find one in my neighborhood and make sure I throw some business their way.

After my mind visited Mr Fixit's shop it went back to the neighborhood and I ran into.. of all people 50 cent! That's right the Singer/Actor Fitty Cent! You, "Hey shawty, it's ya birthday, We gonna party like it's ya birthday..." That Fitty Cent!
WHY HIM, you ask? I'ma tell you why him. This was a Tweet he had back in December when a blizzard hit his city:
"I'm going out to shovel snow and see if I can make me a few extra dollars today. I'm charging more if they want to take pictures."
- "I want a hundred dollars per house. I bet anybody ill make a grand moving snow today. Lol"
- "I got 4 people on one street to agree to my fee after they saw the first job I did. Now I'm looking for employees."
- "I'm paying 30 dollars and hour I only want 3 workers that 90 dollars and hour but I think we can do all 4 in a hour in a half. Lol"
- "One is a cute kid he has on a snow suit. So I'm sending him to ring the door bell to ask if we can shovel there snow. Lol"

He may have done about this a little funny, but he created jobs for a couple of kids in his neighborhood. For those who might miss the point of what Im trying to say, let me bring it to you this way. I'm going back to one of my father's examples:
My dad has lemon trees. He pays a little kid in his neighborhood a few dollars a week to come and pick up the lemons that fall out of his tree. Somewhere in Gilbert, AZ there'a a six year old with a puffed up chest because he has a job and makes money!! And as my Dad mentioned "he's protective of my yard and makes sure his buddies don't mess it up or destroy it."
I'm sure this comes in handy around trick or treat time.
Remember when we were kids and we cut grass, raked leaves, shoveled sidewalks, trimmed hedges, washed cars and walked dogs and did paper routes to make our pocket cash? We, the people of the neighborhoods were hired by the neighborhood to maintain the neighborhood. And it was good money for children and pre-teenagers. It created a good work ethic. I allowed us to learn how to budget and manage money at an early age. It made us not afraid to do dirty work, hard work, sweaty work. WE WERE NOT ABOVE THIS KIND OF WORK. These jobs supplied us with soda pop money,bubble gum money, baseball card money, movie money, hot dog at the ball game money. Money for the fair, we saved this money to buy our first bikes, or pair of high heel shoes or baseball mitts. These jobs rarely exist anymore.
I'm in a position right now where I'm looking at purchasing a home. I'm pretty much sold on a condo or townhouse. But lately a part of me is wanting to look into a Single family home with a yard. It would be fun hire some little dude in the neighborhood to rake my leaves, cut the lawn and shovel the driveway or even some little dudette who wants to come in once a week and dust or vacuum, sweep the driveway or weed a garden.

We could blame the non existence of these kinds of job weak work ethic of spoiled children today being given everything by their parents who aren't teaching them the value of earning their own money and just giving them everything. But what are we doing in our own communities to create the kinds of opportunities to give the economy the a boost as well as teaching the young folks the value of hard work and a dollar or two? It would be kind of fun to help provide this kind of community service to a neighborhood. It helped keep young folks out of trouble, bridged the generation gap and kept the economy flowing freely in our neighborhoods.
IM going to do my part to see what I can come up with in my neighborhood to get it flowing again. And I'm going to start by reinstating shoe polish into my life!

Sister Wives VS Baby Mamas.

2011-05-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

I was fascinated by the show Sister Wives. Being a non-fundamentalist Member of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints I wanted to take a peek into the real lives of those who held onto the tradition or commandment of Plural Marriage. I had a couple of teachers who would tease us all the time when they found out I was LDS as to how many wives did my father have. I would always respond “well , how many mama’s do YOU have?” *check mate* And leave it a that.

Just to differentiate between the Mainstream LDS Church and those that practice polygamy. Mainstream LDS used to practice Polygamy. However we also believe in obeying the law of the land, so the practice was disbanded years ago.

The Polygamist Mormons still practice in hiding. For fear of their families being Separated.
When I look at stories Like Warren Jeff’s which appears by me to be a misguided use of unrighteous dominion I’m sickened.
Strangely enough, when I watch the Sister wives on TV, I am impressed by their love of family and the measures they go through to communicate effectively and cooperate for the greater family good. What they have seems to work as a family unit. The bills get paid, they aren’t on welfare they work hard and budget their expenses and finances, the children are educated, clean, and enjoy the typical sibling relationships. They are indeed family in every since of the word. None of their kids are dropping out of school, pregnant or running the streets.

If someone were to ask me today… “how many wives does your father have, I would ask them… How many Baby Daddies does your Mother have?

LET’S TO THERE FOR A MINUTE:

It’s coming to the point where same family members share 2 and 3 different last names due to divorces, remarriages and baby mamas.

From what I can figure 1 man working, with 4 wives, 2 of them (usually) working, and 2 at home with the 16 children, are better on the economy than 1 mama with 4 kids trying to work and collect child support from 4 baby Daddies.
Sister wives are losing jobs because of their marital status? What part of that is not discrimination? Utah is an AT WILL state meaning you can get fired for no real reason. I don’t know the situation to which wifey 1 was let go but really? People who want to work can’t work.
I had a friend who, when she had her first baby her mother moved in for the first 2 months. She loved it. Her mother cooked, cleaned did the laundry and all the traditional things a wife should do. Within a week of her mother leaving she recognized the value of having another woman to share the caring. She told me “that’s what I needed for all this time… A wife!”
I have no interest in being a sister wife. But I am quite envious of the support they have within one another. It’s their own little community within the family. As a matter of fact it is an example of how a family and community should work.
If all the baby daddy’s out there gathered all the baby mama’s together in one house hold and shared in the raising ,financing, emotional caring of the children they created, I think as whole it would be less of Burdon. Then again If Couples in a Monogamous marriage are able to do the same thing and stay together and work toward that same end, the effect would hopefully be the same as well.
No child has a choice in how they're being brought up and the belief system of the household in which they live. The Brown House hold is obviously not the Jeff House hold. I mean they have minds of their own, they're not subservient of submissive and they have a choice in how they continue their lives after leaving the house hold.
Mama Baby's are products and subject to whatever is being taught in their house hold... sometimes good, sometimes bad who knows? I don't see no authorities going after them families for whatever moral ideals are floating around in those homes.

MAYBE The state of Utah should worry less about Kody Brown, his 4 wives and their 16 (+1, they are expecting again) children. They appear to be decent contributing people in society. Maybe they should start investigating what's going on in some of these Baby Mamas households.
*just sayin*

*Just A thought*

"Dear America..." Part One

2011-04-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Dear America,
The World has a way of disciplining your Children if you don't.
sincerely,
The Warden

Dear America,
If you think Education is Expensive, try Ignorance
Sincerely,
Pell Grant.

Dear America,
Some Pets should Spay and Neuter their Owners
Sincerely,
ASPCA

Dear America,
I am more than happy to provide your children with love, attention, friendship, and companionship if you don't.
Sincerely,
Drug Dealers, Gang Members and Pimps.

Dear America,
Maybe you should give away Free Vasectomies and Tubal Ligations instead of condoms
Sincerely,
Abortion Clinics

Dear America,
I"m still Here!
Love,
GOD

Dear America,
Hope you're having as much fun with your Family, friends and loved ones as I am!
Sincerely,
Xbox, iPad, Cell phones, PC's and Lap Tops

Dear America,
I don't mind if you walk all over me, I promise!
Sincerely,
Side walks, Trails, roads and treadmills

Dear America,
Obesity is UP! Heart Disease is UP and your butts are getting bigger
and yet you STILL ignore us?
Sincerely,
Bikes, Scooters, and Skateboards

Dear America,
What are you waiting for? It's time to start!
Sincerely,
Your Savings Account & 401k

Dear America,
I'm really sick of babysitting
Sincerely,
Your Television

Dear America,
I wish I would have learned how to problem solve, keep a budget, maintain a job and pay bills while living at home,
Sincerely,
Twenty-Something

Dear America,
Can you call next time, I'm really getting tired and over worked,
Sincerely,
Texting thumbs & fingers

Dear America, Try hanging out with me once in a while.
I'm a really fun and cheap date!
Sincerely,
Your Community

Dear America,
You should really be nice to Customer Service Agents
who have access to your Name, Address, Phone Number,
Social Security, Date of Birth, and Credit Card info.
Sincerely,
Corporate America

Dear America,
Teach your kids how to cook, clean and do laundry.
Sincerely,
Their Future Roommates and Spouses.

Dear America,
Thank you for the fuel!
Sincerely,
The Fire

Dear America
Thank you for all the potatoes!
Sincerely
The Couch!

Dear America,
It's Cheaper To keep her,
Sincerely,
Divorced Man

Dear America,
You are Mistaken:
Handicapped and Obese are NOT the same thing
Sincerely,
Bathroom and Parking Stalls

TO BE CONTINUED

I want to have an Interesting Summer!

2011-03-03T19:09:00.001-08:00

I know it's only the beginning of March. But I'm already planning on having an interesting summer. I want it to be fun, laid back and unique. I want it to be full of simple joys, tearful laughters, and different experiences.
I'm going to build my dining room table instead of buy it:
http://ana-white.com/?p=57&upm_export=print

I'm going to take a weekend scenic Amtrak trip someplace

have a sleeping car and mingle and socialize with train folk.

I want to work through the pain of osteo arthritis and run a 2k before the end of the year.

I Want to walk barefoot along a portion of the Oregon Trail and feel the history of it beneath my feet, between my toes and in my soul.

I want to get a Library card like when I was kid and make trips to the library.

I want to spend some time under the water relaxing and floating like an angel fish donned in my new purple snorkeling gear

(This really is my new gear!)

I want to go to the salt flats where they filmed "Independence Day" and "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" and have a bonfire under the summer stars.

and take pictures of the sunsets in West Desert before camping out and witnessing the meteor showers.

I want to create a piece of fabulous funky art or craft and display it somewhere in my home

I want to make Hobo Dinners

and dutch Oven breakfast

while camping in Bryce Canyon again.

I want to do volunteer work and really be a part of the community.

I want to fall into a peaceful sleep in a hammock while reading a book

.

and Rage at a summer concert.

I want to watch a thunderstorm and dance in the rain.

And I plan on having MY SUMMER!!

OLYMPICS: WEEK 1

2010-02-20T00:19:00.000-08:00

What an AMAZING first week at the olympics. I must admit I'm Missing Jim McKay right now. I may be showing my age but he will ALWAYS be the voice of the Olympics to me. He Reported for 12 Olympics. This was when they would have the winter olympics, then 4 years later the Summer. They were held 4 years apart and not 2 years apart.

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching the 0lympics this last week and am looking forward to the rest of them next week. What a great historical time for not only the U.S.A but for many other countries winning first medals ever in many events, breaking winning records in single disciplines and country records. It's great to be a part of this even from a spectator point of view.

I think some of my favorite moments were watching Bode Miller's return. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know he was on the team. After his showing in Torin I just figured he's fade away but I am proud to see him doing so well ESPECIALLY after 2006. He's come back with a lot of grace and grit and still as Sexxy as ever. It just FEELS good to watch Bode in action.

There's a large amount of Olympians from the 2 states I call home. Michigan has 16 and Utah has 51. That's a pretty Great showing.
After 2002 many Olympians around the world now call Utah Home we do boast the "GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH" It's nothing to run into Apolo Ohno, or Torah Bright while out and about. It's really pretty cool, like an Olympic Hollywood! Having the Olympics here in 2002 wans UH MAY ZING! And every 2 years that OLYMPIC FEELING returns, even for the summer Olympics. It truly is UH MAY ZING!

I watched a few events I had no interest in prior to this year: Ice Skating. It really is more technical then you would think. Curling. I'm sold. I watched the U.S.A womens vs Germany Session. It's pretty tough and strategic. Im sold! I think Speed skating short track is my new favorite. Never really heard or paid attention to it before 2002. Did anyone? It really is like Ice Derby: anything can happen and it does. It's kinda spooky watching JR Celzic and Apolo Ohno... I wonder if Ohno feels like he's looking at a shadow of his younger days?

What is UP with with that Luge, Skeleton, Bobsleigh Track at Whistler? They call it 50/50. Ain't NO WAY I'm bout to go down a track where you have a 50% chance of crashing. It would seriously mess with my head and Confidence, Especially after death of Nodar Kumaritashvili from Georgia. I Feel so deeply for his family. I cant Imagine raising an Olympian, sending him off to play and them passing away. So SO sad. I feel for his teammates as well. Emotionally I would be so messed up I don't know how they do it.

I'm excited to see Shani Davis perform this year. I think he got a bum wrap last year and his mama didn't help. SORRY CHERIE DAVIS! I know you trying to protect him, and sorry Shani I know you love yo mama. Sometimes Stage moms should be off the stage and seen but not heard. But I get it Ms Davis. I'm a single black Mama my self and although I didn't raise and Olympian, however I DID raise a Champion!

Shani looks so much more relaxed and as if he's enjoying himself this year. I hope he is! The olympics are hard hard work but man wouldn't be sad to look back at your medals and think... I wish I would have enjoyed myself and the experience more as well? Have yourself a ball Shani and good luck!

Don't you Love Julia Mancuso's Tiara? LOVE IT! I would be rocking the Tiara if I were there for sure.

And congratulations to China's gold medal, HISTORIC GOLD MEDAL, for figure skating pairs? I love the Love story as well behind that gold.

OH, So I watched the Cross country and Biathlons this year for the first time. WOW.
USA we are just NOT great cross country folks at all are we? No wonder we're all shocked at the Silver won by Johnny Spillane.

Anyway I am absolutely LOVING These Olympics!U.S.A is having a Historical time and hopefully so is the rest of the countries.
GO USA GO WORLD

THE OLYMPICS:GO USA~ GO WORLD!

2010-02-18T10:40:00.000-08:00

View the vancouver2010.com medals' table

I don't know about y'all but I LOVE THE OLYMPICS! I love the competition, I love the Unification of not just the country but the world. It's one of the only times it feels like the world is for the most part On the same page.
It feels like all the kids of the world said...

"HEY let's get together in two years and play on the same play ground! We'll play some games, have some food, Dance, Laugh, share our stories, celebrate our differences and win some awards! Before we leave, lets agree on another place to meet up and play again!"

Doesn't it kind of remind you of the Saturday mornings at the ball field when you were a kid?
Everyone would show up with their gear, we'd pick teams and then spend all day playing, talking trash, disagreeing, redeeming ourselves of our mistakes. By the end of the day everyone went home tired, happy, with stories to tell. Ready to come back next weekend to do it all over again. There could be someone who was an absolute geek or that you didn't get along with during the week, but on the weekend, when it was time to hit that playground and play, they might have been picked last for a team but they were still picked. Eventually they would come into their own and find they possessed a talent they didn't know they had.

I must admit I do not always route for the USA to win. *GASP!* I hope this confession doesn't interfere with me getting a passport this year. Or a "special" interview with the FBI or Secret Service.
I'm always stocked when the U.S does win and it's BONUS. I'm a sucker for the underdog medal, the historical medal, the deserved medal, the lucky medal, THE AWESOME MEDAL!
Some Examples:

Underdog Medal:

Simon Ammann of Switzerland aka Harry Potter, The Wizard:

Remember this kid at the 2002 Olympics? He come virtually out of no where a no name except to maybe friends, family and teammates. Places 35th in the Nagano Olympics at the age of 16. This kid has never one any kind of big championship competition and out of Nowhere, like Harry Potter on a broomstick wins 2 gold medals for Long Hill AND Normal Hill Ski jumping. So much JOY and disbelief in his reaction, I still get choked up when I see it and that was 8 years ago. Does nothing in the 2006 Olympics and then comes back in 2010 to win Gold (the first gold of the 2010) again in the Normal Hill Jump. He became the first man in Olympic history to win gold medals in the Individual Normal Hill event in two Olympics.

PS: Don't call him Harry Potter, it's a bit tiresome for the now 28 year old.

Historical Medal:

I have to give it up to China's Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo. They started skating together in 1992.

Won a few championships, became the first Chinese pair to ever medal for Figure skating by placing 3rd at the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics. They Suffered injury after injury after that time for both of them. Despite injuries they won several World Championships. March 21, 2007 they won their third World Championship title. On March 21, 2007 on the ice at the end of their performance at the 2007 World Championship in tokyo, Japan where they won the World Pairs Skating title,Zhao Hongbo kneeled before Shen Xue to propose to her.

They announce their retirement and got married. Later decided the only thing that eludes them, is an Olympic Gold Medal. They came out of retirement went back to living in separate Olympic dorms and eating cafeteria food. 2010 to watch their Skating performance was truly Poetic Love in Motion. Stunning.

For China, love is golden, they scored the highest score in pairs history, they won the first Gold for China in Olympics Figure Skating pairs History knocking out Russia's 12 year reign.

*** And how about Alex Bildeau Winning Canada's firt told medal on Home Soil. I could hear the Canadian Roar here in Utah!

The Deserved Medal
Petra Majdic of Slovenia. This chick is TOUGH AS NAILS! She falls off course during a practice run falls down steep bank onto some rocks.
She says: " "The accident happened on an icy corner, the area was not secured, I slipped and the momentum carried me over the edge," she said.

"There was a big drop -- about three meters -- and I landed in a small stream with rocks. I was falling towards a big rock and I managed to turn on my side, but I still broke both poles and a ski.

"I was in pain and some volunteers helped me out. They wanted to take me to the medical center, but I yelled, 'take me to the start."
She did undergo a quick examination and the ultrasound revealed no breaks just deep bruising.

She turns down pain killers that would restrict her movement during her race, which is four laps of 1.4m.
Kudos to the First American who can tell me what that is in miles!

She' goes on to win the Bronze Medal, which would be the first medal of the games for her country, Slovenia and the countries first ever cross country medal .

She basically collapsed on the other side of the finish and is carried off. After further examination: four fractured ribs and a tear of the membrane of the lung. Again in her own words "This is not a bronze medal, this is a gold medal with little diamonds on it." NOOO KIDDING! And just to prove that Olympians have a hormone laced with crazy in them, she was hoping to compete again by the end of next week!

Lady, you have an injured lung!!! The Dr's ,however, say she's done in Vancouver. That Lady Deserved that Medal... and more!

The Lucky Medal:

OH NO! IF there is anyone anymore more Highly Favored by the Olympic God's than Apolo Anton Ohno I would like to know who it is? Maybe it's because he bears the Name and looks of a Greek God. Unlike the Greek God his name is only Spelled with one "L." It is because the other L is for "Luck?" The Man is Gorgeous, Sexy, Charming, has winning dance moves and is a brilliant short track athlete. He first Appeared on the Scene at the 2002 Olympics, a cute kid with a Soul Patch on his chin and baby doe eyes that lure you in.

SLC 2002 Disqualified in the 500m race. Doesn't sound very Lucky does it? In the 1000 m he was winning. During a turn around the final corner, a skater from another country tries to pass him and another skater from the inside knocking 4 skater, including OHNO against the padded walls and out of the race. OR SO YOU THINK! So Some kid from Australia in 4th place not only sails into 1st place but it is the THE FIRST WINTER OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL ever for a country in the southern hemisphere. *Luck* Apolo being the highly favored things to starts scrambling on the ice toward the finish line he slips but manages to reach his blade of his now INJURED LEG over the finish line for 2nd place(He needed six stitches in his inner thigh.) Another of the fallen came in third for the bronze medal. *Luck*

Same Olympics: 1500 meters Ohno won the gold medal. During the 1500 m final race, another skater was first across the finish line, but was disqualified for blocking Ohno, in a rule-violation called cross tracking. With three laps remaining and currently in second position, Ohno attempted to make a pass on the leader, who then drifted to the inside and as a result, Ohno raised his arms to signal he was blocked. The tapes were reviewed, the athlete that crossed the ice first was disqualified. OH NO FOR THE GOLD! *Luck*

2006 in Torino Apolo doesn't even qualify for 1500m. Won bronze in the 1000m behind the two who caused him grief in 2002 and then wins gold in the 500 m when he took the lead right off and kept it til the end. No fuss, no muss right? Wrong! There was criticism that he appeared to move before the start, a violation of the rules. That accusation was overruled *Luck*

Jump to 2010 Vancouver:
Let's just jump right to the 1500m. Apolo hangs out behind as always waiting for the right time to make his move. When he makes that move he's in first, then 3rd, then 2nd then 4th, then tried to make a move for 2nd and is block back into 4th. The 1st, 2nd and 3rd place skaters from the same country, it look like a sweep! When suddenly 3rd place tries to pass 2nd place country men at the last corner... and knocks them both out. Apolo sail into 2nd place for the silver with another USA country man right behind for the Bronze. *Luck*

This medal makes Apolo Anton Ohno Tied with Bonnie Blair for the most medals won by 1 person at a winter Olympics. The beauty of it... Apolo has 4 more events before the end of these Olympics. 1 more medals makes him the the Athlete with the most medals ever won for THE Winter Olympics.
APOLO, GOOD "L!"

THE AWESOME MEDAL!
Two Words: Shaun White!
Seriously this kid has AWESOME in his blood. It's one thing to dominate in your sport. It's HISTORICAL to bring your craft to new levels of innovation and expand the boundaries. The man has to be Helicopters into his own SECRET HALFPIPE LABORATORIES ON HIS PRIVATE MOUNTAINS in Colorado where he literally concocts new maneuvers to push the boundaries for his sport.
He showed up in 2006 off the Skateboarding circuit.

Shaun DOMINATES the Winter X Games, where he has won a medal every year since 2002. Including all winter X Games competitions through 2009, his medal count stands at 14 (9 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze), including the first four-peat winner by a male athlete in one the snowboard slopestyle event.
2006 He Hit the scene and helped the Americans Sweep the Snowboarding winning the gold lookin like a little kid playing dress up in over sized Olympic gear.

He sustained minor injuries when he hit his face on the pipe just a few weeks before the 2010 Olympics. When Asked what went through his mind after his crash he basically said: Man I gotta get back up there and lay it down. He did, and won Winter X Gold.

2010 Was there any doubt Shaun White would get his gold? Nope, not even. The way you qualify for Halfpipe cold: You have 2 Quarter final Qualification runs. If you Score high enough you automatically advance to the finals. Top 6 automatically advance. Everyone else gets two semi final runs and try to advance from their. You get 2 finals run. The highest of each run is the one that advances your or wins. Shaun White won with 2 runs. 1 run automatically advances him to the finals, 2nd run, just a practice run where he slightly stumbles. Who cares, he's already in the finals.

Shaun White won gold before he even began his second run on what was considered a "conservative first run. His first run scored at 48.4 out of 50. He doesn't need to do his 2nd run. However there's a new trick he's concocted: "The Double McTwist 1260." No It's not a new item on the McDonald's Menu yet... but Give it time, I'm sure our Red headed Olympian will be scooped up by
Mc Donalds in no time!

The Double Mc twist 1260 is the newest Snowboarding Trick and right now only one man can do it, the man how created it. The man who doesn't even need to introduce it cuz he already won the Gold. His Family is going crazy! His even brought his dog, Rambo to the Olympics!

Why should he risk himself danger by doing it if he doesn't need to? Because the fans want him to.

He Displays his AWESOMENESS on his 2nd run which is dubbed his Victory lap.

I believe these are the Medal that the Olympics are made of. These and the stories of the countries who have 1 athlete Like Algeria, Morocco, and Columbia or 5 Athletes like Brazil and Iceland. Athletes who we may never hear or know their name. Athletes who work just as hard to get to Olympics as the gold medal winners, and in most cases even harder because they don't have the funding, opportunity as the countries with world wide sponsors like Nike, Coke, or Wheaties. I am proud to be and American. Proud of our Athletes and their hard work and achievements. I am more proud of those Olympians who defy the odds of everyday living to become and Olympian. Their Stories are what I enjoy most and Those are the champions, no matter what country I cheer most for. I am HUMAN first and fore most, then American.

"Last, This and Next" This conversation is LONG OVERDUE!

2010-01-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

This is a LONG overdue conversation. Some people just down right confuse me. And "I can do bad all by myself!" I get confused on a couple little items. I know it may seem like I'm talking about "this, that and the other" but what I'm really referring to is Last, This and Next.

Now I'm not taking in general, I'm talking in reference of time. More specifically when
we speak in terms of days and weeks. I guess "LAST" shouldn't be a problem because it truly is it's own definition. But this and next confuse the devil outta me.

For example: If I were to say "I have a date next Saturday." In the minds of some people that should be the next Saturday coming up, right? It makes perfect since. Next should be next, right? But in my mind THIS Saturday would actually be the next Saturday, as in This Saturday coming up, right? Because the Next Saturday would be the next Saturday coming up after THIS Saturday. So This Saturday would literally be Next Saturday. It certainly can't be Last Saturday because I can't have date coming up last Saturday unless I'm specifying The Last Saturday of a Month or Year, right?
Ya with me on this?
Now there are some that are insistent that Next always means the VERY next. I disagree completely, if that were the case, then we could totally do away with THIS and just stick with Last a Next. THIS WILL NEVER DO. I'm just to fond of THIS. I used to think it was just a matter of how one was brought up. But it's not true. My sister and I have had this discussion many many times.
She is one who believes that next means NEXT! So When I say THIS, Saturday she actually thinks I mean this LAST Saturday instead of this Next Saturday because THIS can't possibly be Next. Do ya see my dilemma, do you SEE IT? Do ya see how it all makes perfect sense and yet NO sense at all?
So Basically am going to make it easier on myself... and on you if you're communicating with me.
Last refers to last week, This refers to this week and next refers to next week. Got it? So no more of this confusion. When I say this confusion I don't mean as in this next confusions or this last confusion. THIS means Current to me. Get it? Got it? Good!

Summer Fun.... LET'S CATCH UP!

2009-07-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Friends, Fans, Brothers & Sisters!
It's been a while I know! Much has happened since my last post. To be quite honest I don't even remember writing that last post and that's been over a month ago.

Sooo Let's see we have some catching up to do, and best of all I have some pics!

I heard that one of my favorite Comedians were coming to town and tickets were only $20! What a rip off for him but such a great deal for those of us who went. We were fortunate because he did 4 shows and all shows sold out. We scored tickets to the last show!

Here's the line to get into the comedy club Wise Guys. It was actually out in the street. Which didn't surprise me. I would stand in the street for the guy. I didn't, but I would.

!
Of course I took my picture with SINBAD! It was a fun night from what I can remember, it was an awesome time. And don't we make an awesome looking pair? It was fun to kind of talk to him afterwards. He mentioned something about Michigan and I shouted out "BATTLE CREEK!" and he called back "BEARCATS!" Which is my high school...Battle Creek Central Bearcats! And he then proceeded to tell the audience how his team Benton Harbor whipped our butts on the football field in 1972. Someone from Niles Michigan proceeded to then mention how They kicked Benton Harbor's butt. It was a fun little interchange.
Afterwards I took the opportunity to spar with him about our rivalry. We used to have police escort going in and out of Benton Harbor, they would throw rocks at the bus and try to get to rioting. Especially when we kicked their butts in Softball! Again a nice little interchange with such a fantastic entertainer. He is easily one of my Favorites!

It was an AWESOME NIGHT... what I can remember of it.
Unfortunately this was also the night I came down with Swine Flu. I remember taking a breath to laugh and a dry burning series of coughs popped out. By the end of the show and the ride home I was out of it. I would learn later I not only had Swine flu but it left behind it's sister pneumonia and baby cousin sinusitis. Apparently I was in denial and went to the Dr WAY later than I should have. My voice was so deep my own mother didn't know who I was on the phone. My daughter was calling me "Sir", "Father" and "dad", telling folks to come over and get Barry White's autograph.
This ailment was NO JOKE! Every time I woke up I was in a different room, not remembering how I got there. A few times I woke up with a thermometer in my mouth. I remember just burning from the inside. I drank a lot of ice water and cough drops. I remember it hurting so badly to cough that I would start to cry when I felt one coming on. I'm a tough cookie, I went through childbirth all natural... that's right NO PAIN KILLERS!So for me to cry at coughing meant there was some pain!2 ladies at work also came down with swine right after I did. One was good to go after a week. The other is still not back to work and it's been about a month. Because I have Pneumonia as well I've been taking it easy. The weather has been rainy and cold for the most part so I've been inside and resting in bed for the most part. I was thinking I was over the worst with just a little pneumonia. Then my sister reminded me of those who have passed way with it. So I'm being careful. I still tire easily and my lungs still aren't clear. I'm about 75% but I think I need to go back to the Dr because i still get burning in my chest and have a difficulty breathing when walking upstairs and hills and even doing regular house work.
I told my friends I was going to make a T-shirt. A week later I got this in this in the mail a few days later.

Awesome right? I think so too!
I missed seeing Smokey Robinson in concert :( bummer.
But I was able to be an usher at the Oquirrh Hills Temple open house. It's only a half mile away and our stake was asked to help. That was pretty cool.

At the same time I celebrated 1 year of living with PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's been a really really tough road. I now know it's not something that ever really goes away, you just learn to handle it better. I am 365+ days stronger and better. And I will continue to be.

June 26th we Finished up the American Cancer Society Relay For Life event. Team W.A.C-USA had it's largest team ever. I had 16 people register. This event takes ALOT out of everyone. So Much appreciation and love to all who participated. There were very bad storms for about an hour during the relay. The winds and rains actually snapped my metal tent poles in half. The lightening was striking so close the Army was rushing to get everyone inside the gymnasium. It only lasted about an hour but it looked like a tornado came through. But we didn't stop the relay. We were determined to relay no matter what. Cancer doesn't stop because of the weather and neither did we. After the storm we were rewarded with a double rainbow. This was also the night after Michael Jackson Died. *sadness* He's another blog for another day.
Team W.A.C-USA raised over $1400 for the American Cancer Society. Yaye US!

We got a call the other day e and they're selling the house my sister and I are renting. So we're not in the process of Trying to find places to live. We've decided not to move in together this time which is not such a bad idea.

My daughter is getting ready to go back to her 2nd year of college. She's been upset this summer, not being able to find a job. I was not sure how we were going to pay our portion of her college fees. Esp since this new job I have is making quite a bit less than the old one. I'm struggling with rent payment as it is. The other day my daughter walked into the room and said... "Mom, the school money will come, don't worry about it, I will be taken care of. And I don't plan on moving back home after college next year I'll stay there until I graduate so you can just find some thing for yourself and not worry about getting something for the both of us."

Broke my heart. It would be nice for her to have a bedroom of her own when she comes down on weekend and holidays to visit. But on the other hand she is a 19 year old woman with a head on her shoulders that exceeds my own. I guess this would be cutting some apron strings. I'm torn. I would much rather find a 2 bedroom so she can always come home with ease and comfort when she wants. I would much rather scrape and go without to afford that for her so she can come visit whenever. I may just get a little something for a year or two, try and save and then purchase a condo that we can call come.That way we'll never have to move again and she will have a real home even after I'm gone. The joys of single parenting. We don't do what we want to do but we do what we have to do, right? RIGHT! Last week her financial aide came in. It paid for all her tuition and fees and there is some left over. All we have to worry about is her books and living expenses. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!

We're preparing to go back to Michigan for a family reunions. Im SO EXCITED! The last time we went to a reunion for this side of the family was about 6 weeks before September 11th. Much of the family is from Manhattan, Rochester & the Bronx. I'm also glad to get back to the home town of Battle Creek! I spent some time there last summer but was unable to really get around who I wanted to. I've got some places to see, business to take care of, and favorite places to dine :) Bring on the Volcanoes Pizza and the Chicken Coop! My grandma's been very ill also so it will be good to spend time with her and get some pictures of her. We'll be there for a week!

*** I think I'll stop for now and do a part 2 a little later. I haven't even begun to catch up on the last couple months!***

Until then....BE FABULOUS!

There is Always A Better, Brighter Way to Live

2009-05-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

I talked to a man at work today. "How are you today Miss Karyn?" He said.
"I AM WONDERFUL, How 'bout yourself Mr Lilly?"
"Wonderful?? WOW< really? It is so nice to hear such a lovely positive voice on the phone. I Don't even want my money back I just like hearing the kindness of your voice!"

I.WAS.BEAMING! I love the reaction I get when folks ask me how I'm doing. I've pretty much taken "FINE" and "ALRIGHT" out of my vocabulary. I'm no longer living a generic life so my answer will no longer be Generic. I also notice when I ask "How are you today?" I really mean it, it's no longer just another "greeting" like "Hi" or " What's up?" or "HEY!"

There is much to be said about looking for the bright and positive things in life and in other people.

There's even more to be said about FINDING IT!.. Some people look all their lives for the good and positive things AND NEVER FIND IT! Is there something wrong with the look, or is the world in such a state that there is nothing good left anymore?

Quite frankly I'm enjoying being that finder of light in others. Finding it add to being positive. It really is a great feeling and makes the world a who new place to be in. A better place to be in.

Im realizing how much our perception of the world around us has to do with what we draw to us.

Let's take Drama for instance. Some people have a no Drama Clause. They avoid it, don't create it don't participate in it. SO THEY THINK.
What is more dramatic than turning away from a situation that needs to be discussed, sorted out and solved? You think just by glossing something over and then ignoring it will make it go away and cause you to escape drama free? WRONG. It come back with a vengeance. It interrupts current and future issues when not handled. It really does create... "Same Production, Different Cast" with YOU as the director AND usually the starring or co-starring role. Been there done that.

I call the Bullcrap card on NO Drama! The minute you declare it, it gang jumps on you. It invades your subconscious and your mind. Just because you don't admit it, doesn't make it not so. The truth isn't any less true because folks don't believe it.

I've learned the joy in Taking responsibility for what does and more importantly what doesn't work in my life. There is no shame in saying.... I messed up, I can do better. Or I apologize for being thoughtless. No But... or excuses or justifications. Simply... I messed up, I know it, I'm sorry, I'll do better. I have a much higher respect for THAT person than the one who finds fault and blame on everyone around him for HIS/HER short comings. We all have them. It's what makes us human. And it's soo disheartening AND TACKY to hear someone put off their responsibilities and issues on being someone elses fault instead of just owning up.

I enjoy a good honest day's work. I was once told.."I know just exactly what to do and say to impress the right people... and then I just sit back until I make my next move." Seriously.... NOT IMPRESSIVE to me. That's got " I'm a butt kisser and a suck up and do my job when I need to, but for the most part I'm a slacker when no one else is around" Someone who has this habit or attitude doesn't realize it carries over into all aspect of their lives. Can you imagine having a relationship with that person? They'll put in some effort when there is only shakey ground. I like working hard, earning my keep. I like being a team leader and a team player. If you can't be both there will be problems in your personal life and relationships as well. No one can or should or was meant to be the boss at all times.

Someone at work called me the Department Cheerleader. AUGH! Yeah, Im not the one. This same person asked me if I "ever had a bad day."
I laughed at her and said "I'm actually having one now!"
She said she just couldn't tell and would never have guessed it.
"well, Complaining about it would only make me more miserable and the people around me miserable...so I DECIDED to change it and make it a good day." Then I gave her a lollipop and walked away.
It's all about perspective. At work I decided no matter how bad or awful the person on the other end of the phone was, it was NOT going to effect how well I served them as a customer. I will always do my job the best of my ability with a cheerful attitude. No way I'm gonna let them get to me. So far, so good!

The next goal is to bring that attitude out of the work place. What if we all went home to our families and decided that no matter how upset, tired, frustrated or "whatever" the people in our house were We were going to be the best Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Son or Daughter we could possibly be anyway?
And why is it we save our best selves for Customers, bosses, coworkers and strangers? If we treated our families like we treat our bosses and customers, I wonder how few divorces, separations and foster kids there would be in the world?
OUR FAMILIES SHOULD BE OUR BEST CUSTOMERS! These are the people who clean up after you, feed you, let you move in, give you a few dollars, and in some cases a kidney or something. Why do we not save our best selves for those we are supposed to love most?
Well let me tell ya, I've started doing this at home. I live with my daughter and my sister. And it's working. I feel myself wanting to add more and more the comfort and peace of the home atmosphere. And that doesn't just mean avoiding issues. We work them out. Not with blame. We know when we've done something and are doing something that's not conducive to the house hold or fair to the people living in it. We take ownership and try to improve on it.

And let me say this: When you have a true desire to improve and make changes... you don't wait because you learn there is no point in it. Laziness will have you take babysteps. The time for positive improvements is and always will be NOW!

I say this because we are loyal to our habits. Good, Bad and UGLY we are loyal to our habits, because they are familiar and we know how to deal with them. There is fear in change. Fear that we may fail or someone will find a weakness and see us less attractive or less perfect. One of the sexiest traits in the world is Confidence and true confidence comes from recognizing your weaknesses, improving upon them and KNOWING that those you love will continue to love you through it all. THAT's SEXY! That's attractive, not fake arrogance.

I tell you, LIFE IS GOOD. There are miracles surrounding use everyday. I notice them even more than ever before. There is ALWAYS ALWAYS something brighter and more divine to see and it surrounds us each and every day. I am grateful to have gone through whatever was needed to be able to experience this "new world" I've been living in. We are meant to have joy. Not guilty pleasure. Not temporary Satisfaction. Not Substitution but Real live, touch me, feel me, hear me, smell me, taste me human interaction joy.
If you can't find it, then you aren't doing something right because people all over the world are enjoying life and it's out there.

When must understand we are every day sowing and everyday reaping what we've already sown. If the harvest is stale and rotten, you can't blame the farmer next door for your tainted crop. Well you can, but it will never fix YOUR crop.

Part of the joy of life is taking responsibility for our failures because those things we suffer at the hand of others may make us dizzy for a little while, but if we stay dizzy and fall and wallow on the ground, it then becomes our own doing.

LIFE IS GOOD, believe that. And times are hard. The wiser we get the more we'll understand that our wants and needs coincide. How wonderful would it be live life in such a way that the only thing you really want and need is Shelter, food, clothing and money enough to live on? How wonderful would it be if we didn't need the cable tv or the xbox or laptop or latest cell phone? What if we're happy with a car that functions well and gets us to where we need to go? It is difficult pining and waiting to have enough money for the latest doo-dad. Why not take the money and send Mom or grandma flowers "JUST BECAUSE?" or take Grandpa or Pops out for lunch and an afternoon movie? Gather the neices and nephews together for an 99 cent ice cream and swinging at the park? These are truly the things that make life good and worth while.

Life.IS.GOOD. I Promise. And I hope you are put through whatever trial, trauma,hardship, blessing or refiner's fire you need to go through to live it well.

I've Got Problems...

2009-04-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

I know it. And knowing it is such a blessing. I was having some discussions with some folks and for some reason the new Kelly Clarkson song "My Life Would Suck Without You" came into play. One in the discussion mentioned they didn't care for the song and then quoted the following verse:

"I know that I have issues... but you're pretty messed up too" And how dysfunctional it was to be in that kind of relationship with that kind of thinking. I had to disagree. In my perspective.... When everyone stops trying to hide the fake persona of being perfect and always right and start acknowledging and taking responsibility for their own "mestupness" (messed-up-ness) Relationships would get better.

Seriously, I know that I have issues. I feel that knowing I have shortcomings helps me realize I have things I can improve on. If I don't acknowledge them, the chances of them becoming bigger problems increase. Knowing that everyone else around me is messed up some how.. (And don't EVEN FRONT folks, we all have issues and there are things about us all that are messed up. If you are ALIVE you have issues) allows me to see them through real human eyes. There is no perfection in people and how they are.

I guess for some this could seem pretty depressing. For others they have just left the page all offended. Whatever! See ya, buhbye. Those folks have greater issues then they're probably even aware of.

I think when we try to hide our flaws and issues from those we love and care about, it creates greater problems. Does that mean come to the table and confess everything? Not at all. What it does mean is ....We, those folks who love you... we see your flaws and short comings, just as you see ours. And for those of us who really love and care about you, it does not diminish your self worth or value in our eyes. It is when you hide them, justify them, manipulate and lie to us to protect your ego and shattered sense of esteem that there becomes REAL issues.

It's been a tough year in the self worth department on this end. My world was absolutely shattered. There was no hiding it. And for the first time I can remember I had no desire to hide it. I didn't go around advertising it, whose who know me know I'm not the same Woman I was last year at this time. I have displayed to those around me my weakest darkest moments. To tell the truth I was too weak to hide the truth and at the same time strong enough to not care what others think.
How grateful I am for that realization. I learned that in all my "mestupness" I was surrounded by a stellar support group who gathered around me and lifted me up when I was too weak to stand on my own. I learned who can deal with a certain illnesses and situations that need extreme care and who just can't hang in those situations. I learned who has the knowledge, patience, desire to realize what they had to offer, bring it forward without reservation and care for a friend in need.

On the flip side: I also learned who is selfish, impatient and not understanding of anyone else needs but their own. I learned that in a crisis situation or a situation where I or someone else may need extreme care, some folks just don't have the mental or emotional tools to deal with such situations. Those folks you hope you aren't alone with when something goes down cuz if you need the help, you're out of luck... they will make sure to take care of themselves even when they are the one's not needing care.

There is something to be said about being "messed up" and having a desire to improve on that. If you pretend it doesn't exist, you will never seek to make improvements.

I feel sad for the man or woman who is always seeking and advertising to be right. These are those who will question all their "crew" for validation when there is an issue. Usually one considers the "crew" to be impartial. When really the only "impartials" who can be impartial know nothing about you to make an impartial suggestion. The "crew" is simply a bunch of friends who we go to who make US feel better after we've been called on the carpet about something. First we get defensive about it, then instead of taking that self inventory we get defensive and make justifications and then call the "crew" for validation. Because to admit we messed up would make us feel less in our own eyes. And we assume it makes us less in the eyes of others.

I have much more respect and am more willing to walk the fire with someone who can say: "I have a problem I know it has the potential to be damaging to the relationship. But I am willing to work on it and need your love and support while I try to improve"
I would and have walked the fire with THAT person. Than the one who has that pride routed so deep they can't see their own mess, or makes excuses their mess is the result of someone else always messing on them. Failure to take responsibility is another HUGE issue. Blaming others for your own laziness, lack of desire or ambition.

Thee are time when we all are put in a position of victimization. Someone who has practiced their agency in such a way that it invades or upsets your own. There are indeed times when we will suffer at the cause of others. And there are indeed times when others will suffer at the hand of us, so don't get it twisted. If you in any way shape or form justify revenge, abuse, manipulation etc... you have bigger problem.

There come a time and place for resolve.I remember those immature days of "revenge" and trying to get someone back for something. There was such temporary satisfaction for me. My conscience would get to me and eventually there would be more agony and guilt over it that I would find myself more miserable than the misery I was wanting to place on someone else. Some folks would call that a weakness. My Grandmother would call it Strength. She would call that a God-like quality. "When you begin to lose those feelings of guilt and misery, then you have stepped too far of the path"

In closing I say I know that I've got problems... and you're pretty messed up too. Embrace it. I'm not saying admit it and be OK with having the problem. I"m saying we all have them. And the sooner we start to acknowledge, take responsibility for and work to improve our own, the sooner we're have better relationships.

That's all I'm sayin.

Earth Hour: Power Down 2009!

2009-03-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

About 5 days ago I heard about Earth Hour. A world wide effort to show respect for the Earth we are FRYING and cut/not use any electricity for 1 hours: 8:30-9:30 local time.
I got to thinking what a good experience to cut back on the electricity bill if just an hour and see how much of it we really use.
This was all to go down Yesterday March 28th, 2009.
I woke up rather excited to do this thing. I made a last minute decision to see if i could use as little electricity as possible all day. And then I told my sister about Earth hour and she was down for it. I think it was her who said... "we should have a party." I concurred! Always down for a unique gathering, especially one with a cause. We contacted friends and explained what Earth hour is.
Told them our doors opened at 7. Bring flashlights, candles, games,snacks and anything you want to throw on the grill. All electricity goes out a 8:25 pm!

It was interesting how conscious I became of electricity and how wasteful we've become. I got up and instead of turning on lights I opened the blinds. The Sunlight was actually brighter than the electric lights AND adjustable according to how much I opened the blinds. And the sunlight also brightened the mood. It's a fact that sunlight plays a great role in mood disorders such as depression and even on lonliness.
I began to do the normal Saturday chores: Cleaning the bathroom, my bedroom dusting, mopping laundry and so on. I actually decided to hold off on the Laundry because it take electricity to run the washer and dryer. And it could wait, I have plenty of clothes to wear so I didn't have to do laundry on Earth hour day. I actually got all my work done faster than usual. Partially because I wanted to get ready for the party, but Mostly because I wanted to use the sunlight while there was sunlight to use.
Thoughts of "Little House on the Prairie" Came to mind. They worked from sunup to sundown because there was not much they could do after the sunset. That also explains why they got much done, they couldn't procrastinate or put it off until later because there was very little could be done by candle/lantern light. AND putting it off would add the the pile of next days responsibilities.

It all makes sense, their hard work, their work ethic. I liked this new realization.
I didn't turn on the TV and or radio all day. I wanted to see what I could hear when not distracted by the typical things. I liked hearing the birds chirping and the kids at the park. One of my neigbors was outside laughing about something. I'm not sure what but it made me smile.
In my sweeping and scrubbing I created a little musical rhythem to one of my favorite songs, so that was kind of cool. I used that rhythem all day while cleaning.

When the cleaning was done my sister and I went into the basement and started to did out our candles and candle holders. We ended up lighting about 72 candles using the tealights she and I bought for my wedding reception last year that didn't happen (they smelled of vanilla and pears)and several other candles we had accumulate. It was fun to see the assortment of candle holders we had. We also used several battery operated Asian lanterns I had purchased for reception. They added an exotic element to the house and yard.

We placed the candles and lanterns around the house and yard. The deal was to use no electricity and very little battery operated things as possible. Make it a night using as much of God's natural resources and human interaction as possible. We used battery operated lighting for the stairs in the house for safety reasons. We have an obnoxious about of steps in the oddest places.

I got excited as the sun went down. Not sure why but I think there is a fulfillment when you are doing something you know can help a cause. And it was a world wide effort. Knowing places like Vegas, Singapor, Paris, LA, Ottawa, Russia etc were taking part and choosing to be part of it made the world a smaller more congenial place.
Folks started to arrive about 7:15 and help with the setting up of candles and food prep and games before the last of the sunlight dipped low into the sky and disappeared. About 8:15 we lit the outside lanterns that lined the sidewalk to the door and began to light all the candles in the house.

8:28 the electricty in my home(except for the refridgerator & freezer) was turned off. The first thing we noticed was that we got quieter. Something about the darkness makes one think they have to whisper and speak more silently. We got over that rather quickly when there was a knock on the door. My neigbors had read my online invitation and came on over to join us. Their teenagers didn't come over at first but she told them they no matter what they were doing they were not to use any electricity from 8:30pm -9:30 pm. Very nice. I went towards the back of the house and looked at the bording neigborhoods. It looked like maybe only 1 or 2 other homes could have been participating, but for the most part it was business as usual for everyone else. I was a little disappointed. But more than that, I was excited about my company and already thrilled about the conversations at hand.

We talked about books, relationships and how to better them, shared cooking and marinating tips. I was loving the interaction.
We grilled pepperoni and cheese stuffed chicken breast, london broil, cheese burgers, sausages and because the grill has a little side burner we made taco meat.

We put a couple of logs inthe fire pit but it was rather windy so we basically let them smolder and thought they wouldn't catch fire. Eventually a flame or two grew and the logs caught.
The biggest festivity of the evening was the playing of charades by candle light.
We had everyone write out things/object on peices of paper. 1 person drew a paper from the bowl and that started the game. What followed was 2 hours of rolling on the floor in laughter as each person tried to act out words such as "furball, hot pants, bacon, pantomime, flashlight..." and so on.

The night was awesome. It was relaxing, peaceful, cozy. There is something peaceful and exotic about candlelight. A few year ago I used candle lanterns instead of night lights and it made a romantic reverence about the house. I do belive we'll be reinstating that element into the household.
Also there was a huge realization at how much electricity is wasted. I've got computers, stereos, and other things plugged in and in the on position for things I haven't used in months. I rarely use my Radio alarm clock anymore. I'm looking into just getting an old school battery operated alarm clock. I no longer listen to music all the time when I go to bed. Sometimes I might pop on a DVD in my portable player. But it also has a battery. with a life of 4 or 6 hours I forget. But this means it will shut itself off and not run on electricy all day because I never really pay attention to it until the evening comes around.

I think we'll be grilling a lot more. And spending more time outside. Our patio furnature has solar lighting on it. I do recall sitting on the patio under the umbrella reading at night last summer. I remember how much more content and relaxing it was.

What i really recognized most was the level of stress and peace, for some reason was non existant.
I don't think we realize how added noise puts and keeps us on alert. There was no confusion trying to hear or understand someone over the TV or radio. We were very attentive and aware of certain needs someone may have had because there were no other focus or other things pulling our attention in different directions.
I guess I was able to be in the moments and enjoy them.

When the lights did finally come back, on about 30 minutes after midnight it was like some vile invader yanking us back in to some unpeaceful premature existance.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the comforts electricity brings into my life. The entertainment and ease it gives the world.
But I think what yesterday taught me was this. God created all things. He brought forth many ideas to be invented for certain purposes. And from that man created many things to which we all should be thankful for. But the core of our thanks, appreciation and utilization should still be those God Made gifts.
My mother often said the Lord has a way of destroying and taking away those things we love more than him, or those things we don't use.
Is it any wonder our earth is rotting/frying/dying away? We have poisoned our water sources and our land. We have we given back any of the things we've taken? Plants? Minerals? Animals? Have we tried to nourish the earth so she can replenish her gifts and bounty?

In depending too much on things of comfort we, too are wasting away. Our minds are less sharp. Our bodies are succumbing more to disease & falling apart and not functioning as well as in the passed. We're getting lazier, fatter, sicker and dying at younger and younger ages.
We rely on processed foods with hormones and other additive and excipients. We've gotten too lazy to provide for ourselves and EXPECTANT on others to help feed us, clothe us, pay our bills, clean up after ourselves and fullfill our lives.
I don't think this was how the Good Lord intended things to be. We are not to expect others to do more for us and our families than we are willing to do for ourselves.

I woke up this morning and the first things I did was open my blinds to let the sunlight in. Then I opened all the blinds in the house. The only things I've turn on today was this laptop. Im enjoying the sound of the birds. They're probably cussing to one another because it's sprinkling snow outside. There's smoke rising from the fire pit as the flakes touch down and dance on the glowing embers from the logs.
Today I'm hearing what Mama Nature and Mama Earth are saying.
It sounded like they said "Thank you for last night!"

7 Women + 3 Boyz = Men!

2009-03-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

One fine evening 7 Women from Utah went out to Play.

Then ended up in Nevada in a place called Wendover

There was a Concert...

But the concert was all sold out. "Hmmmm!" Thought 7 women in Wendover! "How do we get to see this concert? It is sold out and we do not have tickets"

7 Women in Wendover met a Lady from South Jordan Utah

She had 3 extra tickets so we bought them.

7 Women in Wendover found another lady who had 4 extra tickets. So we bought them too.

2 seats were together on the floor. 1 seat was in the middle of strangers on the floor

4 seats were all together on the next level up. None of the seats were bad. All of the women were happy.

7 Women in Wendover went into a Concert

And this is what happened:

AND...

They kissed and held my hand (yes... all 3 of them)
They gave me a rose
AND they told me to call my mama and put her on the phone. Then they took my blackberry told my mama who they were, that I was at a concert having a good time and that a song was dedicated to her ... then and sang to my Mama in Michigan while onstage in the middle of the concert."Mama...Mama You Know I love you! You know I love you Mama!"

AND THEN after the show... this happened:

V.I.P Passes(Autographed)to the V.I.P Lounge

My Daughter with the Menz

Myself with the Menz

My Womenz with the Menz

This is our story and we're sticking to it!

THE END!~

PS: Anything can happen with 7 women from Utah in a Friday or Saturday night!

Good Livin Makes Things Fall Into Place!

2009-02-28T23:39:00.000-08:00

Soooooo, I have a story to tell. :) I could be mad, sad, worried, harried and all of that stuff but I'm not.

So the Exp tags on my car are up today. I plan on renewing them Friday, cuz that's when Pay day is. There front light on my car has been out since about mid January. It only needs a bulb and that's really no big deal to change.

I didn't renew with my old auto insurance company and I termed with them as of Jan 22 I think.

It's a Saturday night. About 10 pm. I decided to head to Walmart about 5 miles away and get that bulb for my car. If I got stopped for the headlight in the next week they might ding me for having expired tags. The police are pretty good about the expired tags, you can usually go about 60 days w/o them hassling you or ticketing you. But I didnt want to take any chances. The car basically sat in the Garage all summer long except for trips to the groceries and dr appointments. So the wear and tear the last 6 months has been minimal.

Anyway I'm rolling down the HWY to the walmart and I'm coming up on a light that's red. I look down at my dash and notice all the red lights are on: Oil, engine, Battery. I think... uh oh, my car is off. Because we're at a stop light and I'm slowed down to stop anyway, I put the car in park and throw on the hazards. Then I turn the ignition off and try and turn it back on. It wont turn over. Hmmmmm!

So I check all the service lights again and they indicate oil and battery. I think alternator. That ain't it cuz the lights are on, the radio's on, everythings on. Then I think I'm outta gas. Nope, at least I'm registered at a quarter of a tank but the gage could be off.

Well I gotta get outta the intersection. I call up my Sister Natalie. Tell her exactly where I'm at: Seriously in the middle of Bangerter HWY & 90s. She and stormy are on their way. Then I call my other sister Lyn. She's at a bachelorette party of a co-worky so she prolly didn't hear the phone. No use worrying her. Then I call Mikey. He's on his way too. So I sit there in the middle of my highway with my flashers on.... just waitin. I'm thinking... Ok so we've got to move my car off to the side of the road. But since my tags exprire at midnight, I don't really wanna leave it on the side of the road a parking lot would be better. No way we gonna push this thing to a parking lot, it's too busy Im stuck on a freakin HWY.
As these things are rolling through my mind the Light Im stopped at is changing as people go about their business on a Saturday night. Someone actually got behind me and I had to wave them around.
So there I sat. I tried turning the key again, making sure to take some sort of mental inventory.... No loss of power, all lights come on inside and outside. The Oil and battery light stay on. The car almost turns over. The anti theft light is on.

Hmmmmmmmmm! Interesting, what is it. Im interupted by a knock on my window. A pretty Polynesian woman is asking me if i need help. It's just her and another lady in her SUV. They're offering to push. Just then my Sister and nephew show up. Shes in a night gown and he doesn't have shoes on. I just had on fuzzy blue slippers and some sweats. We're discussing where to push it. I want to shoot for the Hospital parking lot which is around the corner and across the street to where I am but I know that's asking alot. Just as I'm pulling the car in Neutral so they can push a Tow truck pulls up besides us at the light which has just turned red again. He put on his service lights. I rolled down the window and ask if he can help. It's like $55 to hook up and 1.99 a mile to tow it back to my house.

As he and I are discussing what to do, Michael yells from across the road "what's the problem do you think?" He's in the center lane about to cross the HWY in his truck. "Not sure" i yell back, but we're gonna push it to the side of the road and then He's gonna tow it back to the house" i said pointing at the tow truck.

Anyway, we (Natalie, Stormy, Pretty Polynesian woman)get the car pushed around the corner to the side of the road. The tow truck hooks me up. And tows me back to my house which was 3 miles away.

My car is sitting in my garage facing the street like it didn't even have a crazy night out.

Im not so much worried about the car, it'll get fixed. I have a calmness about me in that regard.
I'm more excited about how everything fell into place: I decided on Progressive Insurance and have been a member since Feb 22. I believe it was a week ago today I signed up with them online. My cards came in the mail yesterday. Also my sister Lyn made us (me and my daughter) members of Triple A. She gave me those cards yesterday as well. And I think what makes me smile the most is a tow truck... in the right place at the right time. One less stress about having to find a way to get the car back home. What an awesome night.
I could sit here and be upset and pissy about my car not running, how am I gonna get to work next week, the tags are expired and on and on.

But I'm grateful for insurance and double roadside assistance coverage. I'm grateful for Natalies, Stormy, Michael and pretty polynesian woman who were at my side in less than 10 minutes. AND I'M Grateful for Guys in tow trucks on Saturday nights who just happen to be traveling down the same road I'm traveling.
I feel as if tonight I was surrounded my angels.

OH.... that's maybe cuz I WAS!

Pornography Ruins Lives, Families and Relationships.

2009-02-20T21:20:00.000-08:00

Now that I have your attention lets talk about it. This is a very hard topic. But I've come acrossed it too much in the past couple of years to stay silent anymore. I don't expect too many of my friends or too many folks in general to comment on this subject as it is pretty much "TABOO" which is part of the problem. No body has a desire to discuss the tough stuff. But these are things that need to be discussed.

It's very heartbreaking and disheartening when someone you love has an addiction. Addictions to porn and deviant sexual acts can be even more devastating than being addicted to drugs, alcohol and other substances you ingest. While substance abuse too, can wreck havoc on the addict and those who love them, you can obtain happy and healthy relationships from recovering and abstinence. Not so much with sexual addiction. Sex is an important part of relationships. It directly and immediately effects the lives of 2 people if you're trying to have a relationship... and the family as well. Sexual deviance and inappropriateness is everywhere:Tv, Radio, Literature, Media, and in our own homes: computer, web cams, cell phones, any communication device.

The scriptures warn/council us about unnatural love and lust. Most Christians understand this meaning to be about homosexuality. We are mistaken if we believe this to be the ONLY unnatural love/lust being talked about in the bible.

18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

ROMANS 1:18-32

I believe we are mistaken if we don't consider compulsive/impulsive of any kind to be an unnatural love disapproving of God.

The hardest part about addiction is being one who loves the addict. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM. They have to come to terms with it themselves. No one likes to admit they have a problem or a disorder. There's much embarrassment in admitting it and seeking the professional help needed. Most will not. They aren't strong enough. It has become a way of life.

The sad part is how it damages the lives of those around them and they don't see it or care: spouses, children, other family members. Their biggest mistake, I feel is in thinking others don't know. If it's on your computer, it's found out. If your actions and words are inconsistent on a regular basis, we know. You can't hide EVERYTHING, you've sent the wrong email, text or I/M to the wrong person. You can't remember which person you're telling which lies to. You've recorded porn over your child's favorite Disney TV show. You've left phone numbers in your pockets and some one else does your laundry. You've left evidence of your one night stands or who you're cheating with on your camera. You have no or low physical desires to be with your spouse or significant other. (No need, you're getting what you need online and through self gratification) Or you have only physical relationships with skills of how to deal with the emotional attachment.
Trust me, we know because it IS ingrained in your personality. We see it in your actions, hear it in your justifications, and we feel it every time you choose it over us.

There are definite patterns of porn and sexual addictions. Most of those who are addicted are so oblivious to the patterns they don't usually realize or see it they're in such deep denial they honestly believe they are hiding their addiction, justifying their habits and covering it up with plethora of lies and manipulations. It's so ingrained into who they are and their personalities and THEY"RE SO BLIND THEY DON'T SEE THAT WE AREN'T BUYING IT. It's normal to them. And learning how to masquerade it is a second natured attempt at desperation. In most cases the one addicted will resort to anger, abuse (physical, mental, emotional)and abandonment to protect themselves and their habit.

Their comfort mostly lies in their solitude. When they are lone they don't have to work so hard to hide their habit.

They keep their friends and family at a distance from their personal space. They enjoy time with them, however it's usually not in their own homes. They very rarely invite anyone outside of their habit or "fix" into their turf.

They prefer to communicate in a "non emotional" state or situation. Text. I/M. Email. There is very little emotional investment. They become cowards to the sound of a voice or facial expressions. It humanizes their partner and this is where they have trouble, with human emotion.

However they show great human emotion, comfort euphoria and well-being while at the screen of a computer or cell phone.
They're also lost confused and out of sorts when away from these items too long. For example... late for work because they were online or had to go back and get their cell phone cuz they left it at home.

Also they're very controlling, anxious and guarded about others using their computer and cell phones. Example: Hovering close if you ask to use their computer or you ask to use their phone and they have to dial the number for you, stand right with you and make sure it's turned off properly. They guard it with more than normal caution and control.

This anxiousness comes from what you might actually find on their gadgets: Porn, sex talk, conversations and phone numbers from the opposite gender. It's all part of hiding and protecting themselves.

Other telling signs:
Poor Hygiene. Sometimes it's person hygiene, sometimes it's living space. Are clothes worn 2 and 3 times without being washed? Their homes are are livable, but remain cluttered and messy for the most part. Their version of clean is tolerable. They blame others for THEIR inability to maintain.

There is usually a long history of job loss. They got fired because of something not truly their fault or they quite because they were being treated unfairly somehow. They've rolled through many jobs, good job, bad jobs. Their job loss was never their fault, of course.
Typically if they have a spouse, the spouse is basically the main provider for the household. They spend their time maintaining the house hold, paying the bills etc. The addict spends their money and time on themselves (maintaining the the things they need for their habit). Typically bankruptcy is involved: The addict can't keep a job and usually causes the most bills, Computer upgrades, extra phone lines in the house, newest video game or devices or literature to support the habit.

There are some of the text book patterns of addicts. The computer and other electronic devices with access to the web or any device where sexual favors and activities can be solicited and satisfied are used in obsession. Not to mention the interest and desire to use them rather then to interact with a real person. Or to use them to interact with a real person instead of cutting out the "middle man" and interacting directly.

Porn and computer gaming has been the main deal breaker in my relationships the last 5-10 years.
The computer is the biggest accomplice. There is a vast overlap between gaming addiction and porn addiction. Although porn is a socially acceptable addiction, gamers tend to feel more guilty than porn addicts because gamers don't hide their addiction and get more ridicule and criticism.

If you or someone you love can answer yes to most of these "SIGNS" then seeking professional help may be in order:
S = Sleep cycle is consistently advanced. Goes to sleep later and wakes later or is tired in the morning.
I = Irritable when not on the computer. Preoccupied thinking about the computer and their activities there (sex, gaming, browsing, tuning the system up, etc.). Can become enraged if told to stop using.
G = Guilty about his/her computer use so tries to hide evidence of 1) game/porn purchases, 2) online activities (deletes cache, uses encryption/passwords, etc.), and 3) logs on secretly, etc.; 4) defensive when confronted.
N = Nightmares. Dreams about his or her gaming/computer use.
S = Social dropouts - people who become more isolated by their computer use. This is seen when there is a consistent pattern of sacrificing real-life relationships to preserve virtual ones. Alternatively, seems to prefer living in virtual worlds more than their real one. These people become or have been NEETs: 'Not in Employment, Education, or Training.'"

IN the mean time this is what we who love the addict sees:
Them having a sense of well-being and comfort of euphoria while at the screen of computer
Spending more time at the computer
Carving long time at the computer until neglecting family, friends and relatives
Feeling meaningless, dull, empty, depressed or irritable when not at the computer.

I actually had someone tell me it's so ingrained in their personality they actually get depressed when they don't have the latest cell phone or gadget or are away from their computer (their baby) for a long time. And to them, it was not normal or unnatural.

Also they are Successful online: they've mastered level 750 of W.O.W or City Of Heroes. And when things aren't going right they can start over and over without consequences or responsibility. They are in control. They spend very little emotional investment for their stimulation and get all the glory of being successful and fulfilled. THEY ARE VICTORIOUS. Porn works the same way They are in control, very little emotional investment no once to be accountable to, they are the boss, in charge, stimulation with no emotional effort or responsibility.

They may also find themselves having to depend on family members to help them survive... having to move with relatives two or more times to help them survive.

These patterns can go on for years: An addict can function well for 2 or 3 years and then suddenly fall on hard times (or hit rock bottom) and have to rely on others to help support them while they get back on their feet. It's a life cycle of an addict.

Those who want to stop and think they are strong enough to do it on their own, you are mistaken or you would have done it years ago. I don't believe any man or woman of God who is caught up really wants to be. I think they go through spurts of trying to be clean and resist but the physical desire and emotional detachment has become a thinking disorder. some where down the line they have forgotten when we are truly in balance: body, mind and spirit, WE control our urges they do not control us.

To those who have been abandoned or left because of this problem please know the following:
1.It is NOT you that has the problem.

2.You respected yourself enough to be intolerant of a situation that was unloving and disrespectful to you.

3. You were smart enough to not fall for the manipulations and lies. The had no other choice but to go to support your habit.

4. You were strong enough to leave and preserve your own life.

5. The emotional & and mental well being of you and your family will be healthier.

6. You cannot help them unless they have a desire to help themselves.

7. Make sure they understand you cannot live with the addiction or consequences of it but you care deeply for them.

8. Although confronting them may have proven to be disastrous, you loved and cared for them enough to let them know you have great concern for them because of this.

9. Some times walking away is the best thing you can do for them and yourself.

10. Always be supportive in their efforts to overcome addiction, but don't allow their problems to rule your life.

*If we are made in his Image...lets begin to act like it.*

The African American History of my Hometown!

2009-02-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

It's black history month,welcome. I remember when I was young, in elementary school we had black history week each year in February. We took the opportunity to learn about slavery, emancipation, civil rights and what not. It was pretty cool.
One of my favorite parts of growing up in Michigan was knowing the important roll my state played in the Underground Railroad. Also learning the important roll my home town Battle Creek, played also gave me some sense of pride.
Some history:
This memorial statue is in west Battle Creek:

There were 7 different ways to run the slaves through Michigan and up to Canada through the Underground Railroad:

They could come up from Toledo, Ohio and into Detroit and across the Detroit river.

The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.

Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.

Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.

It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.

The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.

The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.

Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.

Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.

It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.

http://www.albion.edu/library/JAT/MIUGR.htm This link takes you to an interactive map where you can see certain historical landmarks along the way.

One of the coolest things was being able to visit the Gravesite of Sojourner Truth in the Oak Hill Cemetery. I was honored to visit her resting place last summer (2008)

I'm rather proud of the place I grew up and its place in Black History. It's streets didn't hold marches. There were probably no bus protests. I'm pretty sure no one got hosed down in the streets for picketing. But it's streets are full of the souls and spirits of Men, women and children who hid in the cellars, basements, attics, barns, closets on their way to Freedom.

And that, folks, is a little bit of the Black History of my home town.

Impressions of the Inauguration

2009-01-25T11:27:00.000-08:00

Going into January 20 2009 I woke and thought "Lord, please don't there be any mess on this day." I know several people who went to Washington DC to the inauguration. I could have gone myself except it was the first day of work at the new job. Goodness knows how things can be when a buncha folk get together, standing on opposite sides of an issue. There's sure to be "incidents" and many of them.
It was pleasing to know that as of 6PM the evening of the Inauguration there were no police incidents. NONE! ZERO! ZIPPO! NADDA!
I think much of the words "UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL." I was able to watch the swearing in at the new job although there were opposites in the room, there was a coming together of unity.
At this point it doesn't really matter what you think of the new president. It doesn't do any good to badmouth, slander and criticize. It didn't do any good with president Bush. It would sevice our country better to find ways to support the President.

I liked the swearing in. That's really all I saw of the Inauguration. I loved Aretha Frankling in her "church lady hat" singing "My Country Tis of Thee." I've heard some people say she butchered it, but I don't think so. It's how a member of my family would probably sing it. I thought it was very fitting.

I loved, Loved, LOVED the prayer by Dr Rick Warren, of the Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA.
I think he set the tone, at least for swearing in ceremony. Many people, Christians were upset as his reading or reciting things of the Koran, and the calling of Jesus by the many names he's known by in different religions, cultures and so forth. I happen to pray to God. I don't pray to Jesus, However I pray in the name of Jesus Christ because he is the mediator. No one can come unto the father except through Jesus Christ.
"I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life—Yeshua, Esa, Jesus, Jesus—"

Were we not a nation founded on religious freedoms? Religious freedoms are just that, freedom to practice who, how and what you believe without forcing or having it forced upon you. I think the invocation reflected the diversity of the country as well it should have.
Also what I liked about his prayer:
"Help us, oh God, to remember that we are Americans. United not by race or religion or by blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all. When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us.

When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us. And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches and civility in our attitudes—even when we differ."

How much greater would the country be if we could remember these things and actually seek forgiveness and live in such a way we wouldn't have to ask forgiveness.

He ended in away that we should probably all begin our day:

"Give to our new president, Barack Obama, the wisdom to lead us with humility, the courage to lead us with integrity, the compassion to lead us with generosity. Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet and every one of our freely elected leaders."

Why wouldn't we pray for our families, religious leaders and political leaders each day? Trust me, they need it as much as we do individually.

I'm not so sure what was up with the actually swearing in of the President. Who flubbed up? They both flubbed up, The President seemed a bit anxious. Shoot, who wouldn't be. And then Chief Justices seemed a bit nervous. They both probably wanted to get it over with. I No matter. What's done is done. No turning back now.

I liked Bishop Gene Robinson's prayer as well. What alot of people don't know is that Bishop Gene Robinson is openly Gay. I believe that alone, without him having uttered a word, probably dismissed him to alot of people. Not me. I believe the Lord hears and answers every prayer from every one of his children who utter a prayer.
I'd be missing out on a lot of great things in this world if I decided not to do something because I don't approve of a person. I guess there's an art to knowing how to use with is applicable and disregard what is not.
Bishop Robinson said what alot of us want to say:

"Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

I fear for this country, not because of the man we've elected to lead it, but because of the burdon we've put on his shoulders, the repair we're asking him to mend, and the lack of support, patience and respect I hear in those around me. We are a nation full of citizen hoping and expecting him to fail. It says more about us as citizens than anyone we've elected to run it.

How about the President and First Lady walking a portion of the Parade route? People think all presidents do it. Not so. Jimmy Carter was the first, not that long ago.
Since then Presidents : Reagan and Bush Sr were the only one's until President Obama. I think it was a needed thing. To show courage. To remind the Nation that the United States in the land of the Brave. I like the confidence it gives the man. It gives me more confidence in him and hope it gives us confidence and courage as well.

I also was impressed with President Obama's speech. I didn't show a pretense or fales hope, I believe it was very realistic. It was straight forward ofthe issues that need to be dealth with and he pressed upon the american people there wouldn't be quick easy fix. I think he also brought forth that importance of being a great citizen and our nation being a friend to other countries with the ability to be humble leaders. I think that's new. I know we as Americans strut around in our arrogance at being the worlds greatest and most powerful nation. We need to bring respect and dignity back to being a country that leads. We've lost our confidence in ourselves and so have other countries.
I think the inauguration as a whole was pretty reflective of the majority of the nation. We're all fearful of what this man Obama has in store for us as a nation. I'm hopeful and anxious just as I believe most of us are.
If the Inauguration is an indication of what's to come I've very optimistic and hopeful for the country and our new President.

I Miss My Back Yard.

2009-01-17T12:17:00.000-08:00

Utah got snow for Christmas. It was an obnoxious amount to fall all at once and left many of us snowed in. It was wonderful, I love it. It kind of reiterated itself for New Years. Today most of it's melted. Oh there's still plenty left but the "King of the Mountain" piles that the kids climb onto with their star wars light sabers and Harry Potter wands when the duel are slowling turning into hills and bumps of ice on the side of the road. When I bbq's last week the whole back yard was still snow covered to shin high. Today, the grass is showing in spots but there's also piles in the corner. The path to my gas grill is clear. I actually just went outside and fired her up for business.
Looking at the bare spot of yellow grass in the lawn made me realize how much I miss my back yard. I can't remember much of the time I spent out there last summer, but I've seen some groovy pictures of the parties we threw! As I looked around at the patio furnature and the umbrella with the chairs stacked on the side of the house, I get glimpses of party lights, food, and tents in my mind. And I start to miss my back yard.

It's not very big or luxurious but man, do I LOVE my back yard :)

And I can't wait to use it again.

An Officer And A Gentleman

2009-01-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching "An Officer And A Gentleman." I love that movie. LOVE IT! I bet my favorite parts aren't what you think either. You can take out all of the love scenes and I would love it just as much.

I think I like the story of the man who came from such dispair and hopelessness and rose out of the ashes like Phoenix. Zack Mayo goes to live with his father after his mother has committed suicide. His alcoholic father has no desire to be a father at all nor has he ever been and makes it known he doesn't want to be. But Zack has hopes and dreams. He wants to be a Naval Pilot. Of course his father doesn't think he has it in him. So he bails on the dad and runs off to Aviation Officer Candidate School.
Mayo has what it takes, but he has a bad attitude, is selfish and self-centered. He's into getting ahead with no thought of anyone else and has no interest in being part of the team. For that reason Gunnery Sergeant Foley is all always on his back.

Well, Mayo gets caught cheating. Foley wants him to quit. Mayo refused. Foley takes him through a rough & rigorous weekend of physical punishment. He wants to make his life hell so he'll quit on his own. Mayo never quits. Foley pretty much tells him "too bad, you're outta here."

Mayo breaks down. He cracks his hard outer shell and breaks down...

"I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go... I got nothin' else."

Foley allows him to stay. And we see a change in Mayo after that. He learns what it's like to be part of a team. He learns, for probably the first time in his life, what it's like to have and be part of a network of support. Thus he mends his ways.

Their 13th and last week of training is called survival week. It's pretty self explainitory. One of their final tasks in training is an obstacle course. Mayo is up for getting the record for the fastest time ever for completing the course. The course is started at 5 second intervals, two candidates at a time will go, then a 5 second wait and another two will go. As Mayo begins and passes his teammate each team mates give him encouragement to "go for the record!" He come to a wall that each person has to get over by grabbing a rope and walking up and over the wall.

The 1 female candidate in the class has always had trouble getting over the wall.
He approaches the wall and the Candidate Seegar is struggling. He gets over the way and in passing encourages her. She stuggles and fall, just hanging and dangling on the rope. Mayo gets to the top of the wall, looks down and tells her to "walk the wall..." She tells him to just go on and get the record, he jumps off the back of the wall, goes around to the front and proceeds to talk her through walking the wall and they do it together:

Don't you let go! You walk that wall! Pull! Pull! Pull, Candidate Seeger! Pull! One leg! You got it! Pull over! Pull over! Pull yourself over! All right!"

He puts aside his own "fame and glory" to help his teammate.
The rest of the movie was ok. Mayo produces a happy ending in the movie.

I think these particular scenes were touching to me because they make me think. Why the heck did Mayo have to be physically broken down to get to the point of "catching a clue?" How much are we like that? Holding on to false characteristics that make us less of who we can really be? Mayo presented the appearance of being impressive only when needed. Is that how we are? Knowing exactly what we need to do to impress people, instead of having the kind of character that encourages us to do our best even when no one is looking or watching over us? I guess that's called brown nosing, yeah? YEAH.

How often to we grab the hand of a family member, friend, or colleague and help them over the wall? And do we do it only when the Gunnary Sergeant is watching, so we look impressive?
Something to think about I guess. I guess for me Officer and a Gentleman is all about integrity. Integrity with a few cuss words, a tradgedy and love story all mixed in.
Integrity is doing the right thing and doing your best even when no one else is around to see it or applaud it. It is the core of who we are.
I hope for TWO Oh ZERO NINE we will focus a bit more on being an Officer and a Gentleman. ;)

Don't Get Left Behind in 2009

2009-01-01T00:29:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone! Can I just say I'm happy to be leaving the mess of mixed emotions and confusion called 2008? Oh it wasn't all bad, I had my highest highs and lowest lows this year. I don't remember much of this year after mid June. But my memory is slowly coming back and my thinking is less jumbled and improving with each day. I must admit when I look back at 2008 I get a little upset sometimes because I feel like I lost my whole summer basically. July, August and September are a foggy blur. I couldn't even tell you what I did for July 4th or 24th, or Labor day. I remember going to Michigan and being on a boat ending up in canada. I remember falling down the stairs before going to Michigan. And I remember Halloween and most of everything there after. Yup,that's about it. I see pictures with me in them, but I wasn't there. SADNESS!
The Sadness is I took this part of 2008 to the entry way of 2009 and allowed it to over shadow the many wonderful things that happened and that I can remember.

I dropped the baggage of 2008 at the entry way of 2009 and stepped through the portal into 2009. A little bit wiser, a little bit smarter. My skin is a little bit thicker and I'm a little more cautious for reasons of my own.

I put up with alot of lies, disrespect and other B.S in the name of "turning the other cheek." Quite honestly I've run out of cheeks. I only have 4. (yes I'm counting the 2 you sit on also.) Too many people have mistaken my kindness for weakness and my silence for acceptance. I've been percieved wrong, lied to and lied on, manipulated. And I've kept silent about it for the sake of forgiveness and understanding.

I'm grateful for all of it. Every last bit of it. I learned what I want and what I don't want in life. Who I can trust and believe and who I want by my side for 2009.

Tonight as I step through the entry way of 2009 my vision is more clear and my focus is more, well focused. I will be leaving behind things, people, memories that are not participating in my progress. I'm leaving behind alot. Emptying out emotional closets and mental cupboards. I'm letting go of "security" blankets that no longer service me. Im cleaning up and making room.

Making room for what, you are probably wondering? I'm not sure of what is coming my way for 2009 but I do know this: 2 objeects cannot occupy the same place at the same time. I'm getting rid of those "old acquaintances" that should be forgot and making room for those thing which are uplifting, loving and that belongs. I'm not sure what the new year is going to bring. I'm excited for the adventure. Don't get left behind.

Happy "Holy-Days" From Me To YOU!

2008-12-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

Child Of Color & Just Like Me

2008-12-17T15:40:00.000-08:00

Living in Utah it's quite difficult finding toys, games, books, etc for families/children of color. It's better than it was 18 years ago when I first moved here. But Utah still has work to do in the divesity department.
Most people of color who come to Utah will leave because of the lack of diversity and what they see as cultural tolerance. But if people don't stay there will never be people to pioneer the effort. My sister and I decided to stay and be pioneers. Hopefully in doing so we can help the generations behind us and make things easier and more available for them.

I have become in association with a Toy manufacturer thats specialises in culturally diverse toys, games, dolls, books etc. Every child should be able to have books and toys and accesories that make them want to say "JUST LIKE ME"
I hope this can be a tool in bringing this resource.
If youre interested in browsing that website you can go to my http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/

on the right hand side is the "just like me" article and the link.

Also some friends and I are developing a website for the education of teaching children how to be more tolerant and respectful of different races and cultures. I also and hoping it can be and educational resourse for those who are looking for ways to discuss certain issue with their children and find information on skin and hair care, cultural holidays and other things of diverse education.
www.childofcolor.com

Let me know what you think. Feedback is welcome :)

Gaming & Relationships

2008-12-16T11:22:00.000-08:00

I came across an article that really bothered me: You can find it here: http://www.destructoid.com/marriage-gaming-game-over--29668.phtml#comment

The article is almost 2 years old but as I was reading it, trying to get a better understanding of the gaming "lifestyle" because lets face it, it really is more indoctrinated than a hobby. Anymore the more I read it the more disturbing it became to me.
The article is about a guy who is a gamer and being lucky that he was able to find a wife who he was able to introduce into gaming. I think it's cool that he was able to find someone to enjoy his hobby with.

I think my frustration was this. The whole article is about finding ways to introduce your love interest into gaming so they A: Understand the lifestyle B: Can spend time together C: Not have it interfere with the marriage/relationship.

Sound pretty good so far, yeah? Ummm NO! There was really nothing in there about taking an interest in your partners hobby's or compromising anything in their relm of likes other than Putting off your gameathon for next weekend to do the "Honey do" list this weekend. I have a HUGE problem with that.
I admit I have a biased opinion of gamers and gaming or anything that takes over the better judgment of having to make a choice between it and the needs of a human or human relationship.
How sad, to let something like this get in the way of human relationships. I can remember my daughter, an only child, not really going to friends houses because they just sit and play video games and watch T.V. Family christmas parties were anyone between the ages of 6 and 40 crowded around the console waiting for their turn while the Older folks cleaned up the holiday mess and talked story about family history and traditions that were basically dying out.
It's not secret that in this technological age we have many awesome things to make our lives and the world an easier place. But seriously, what is the trade off?
I've dated and hung out with some Gamers over the passed let's say 20 years. I've a few gamers in my family as well and I've also HAD a few in my family as well. The difference in that last sentance is gaming was a huge factor in more than a few divorces in family and friends.

Anyone out there ever have this experience?
"Never again! Had they had the (insert favorite hand held gaming device) on during the movie and dinner."
"He was more interested in his cell phone conversation then me."
The funny thing is....they would call back for a 2nd date.

I've hear parent's complain that their kids don't do their house work or school work because of their gaming systems. YET the parent's are sitting next to them in a filthy home with lazy kids.
Of course it's justified as family time when the parents are next to them playing.
I've learned it's a great baby sitter also. Easier to put the kids in front of an idiot box: Whether it be computer, TV etc than spend real time with them. Maybe marriage is the same way. Instead of putting real effort into becoming humanized with people, it's easier to dehumanize them as a avatar in a game.

I've noticed a pattern in a my gaming and techno friends and family. They don't all have all the characteristics of what I've noticed, but they have most of them:
A. Most of them are divorced or in marriage number 2 (because the first spouse didnt "understand" their lifestyle.)
B. Most of them have had a series of set backs in life: loss of jobs, loss of spouse, loss of property, some kind of loss that caused them to feel failed.
C. They are very technology savvy: Computer programmers, Cell phone collectors, PDA's Palms... you name it, they know it and are good at it.
D. There is a need to be in control just about all the time
E. They come across selfish and "me" oriented. In reality they may not be, but we have a hard time seeing it.
F. It seems they have great success getting to level 700 of whatever game and wear these success as though they won some small lottery.
G. They make us feel guilty when they can't get to their games because of something else we'd rather have them do.
H. Their justifications are blatantly justifyable and they actually get angry about our inability to accept it as valid.
I. I'm seriously too sad to continue a list so pathetic, so I'll stop there.
There's little "cheap, Courtesy" things they do as well. Turn to you with some less than involved comment or nudge to barely acknowledge your presence. And then go right back into their game. Only intensifying the fact that not only am i being ignored, they've just acknowledge me for 1 minute as if to say " I know you're here and You get one minute for every 25 minutes of game play"
I talked with my brother, who is a gamer, on his 2nd marriage and doing well I might add. His wife, is much like me: Understands it's a hobby and everyone should have time to enjoy their hobbys. Now I lived with my brother and his first wife for about a year. And the time he spent with the idiot box compared to the time he spent interacting with his spouse I would call shameful. Up until about 3 or 4 years ago, I would say his time spent was shameful.
I asked him what he does differently and how can I have a successful relationship should I (once again) fall for someone who happens to have the gaming lifestyle.
What he does differently:
When his wife comes home, the gaming/computer goes off, Period.
She has become the priority.
What kind of message does it send to your family if you come home from work after being apart all day and head straight for the toys? Especially if the spouse has been working all day as well. If your butt is playing games, and they're cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids, where is the partnership, and where is the compromise? And if they came home and headed straight for their toys and allowed you to do all the other needed things how would you feel?

My brother added this: " A gaming partner will give you every excuse in the books, and because they believe it, they expect you to believe it and will even get upset when you call B.S on it. You stand your ground and stick up for yourself and your needs."

For him, it was all about feelings of failure. In the gaming world he was successful. Each win or conquer was a success against what wasn't going on right in the real world. So it was easier to function in the real world but find more joy as a successful Avatar who can easily "start over" when things didn't go right and continue in victory when they did. Making it an easy addictive.
I guess we can't always do that in real life... start over when things do go right. Or control other people in a less than favorable situation.

I'm happy he did what was needed to start having those successes in the real world and experiencing that excitement and "high" with people, family, friends instead of machines, electronics and such.
Oh he still plays his games. But not every day, not even every week. It's become something to do when there's nothing to do. But he also realizes there is usually something else to do. The enjoyment he got from his gaming he now gets through his family and other things. He has found a way to fill the void that gaming once filled. And has become more physically healthy as well. Yeah I know there's the Wii games now that allow movement and minimal exercise. But it's scarey to me to rather sit and play a fake game of tennis, bowling, golf or whatever instead of a real game. Basically a gaming session would be sitting and eating. eating and sitting. Invite the boys over to come and sit and eat and play games. Is there any wonder there is an epidemic of obesity in the U.S? Which is a whole other blog altogether.

Anyway, you gamers out there may just chalk my experiences up to being with those who didn't know how to balance or prioritize. This could be true. As I think about it even just recently I've heard " what are you gonna get me? If you ever want to get me something, this is what you can get."
Do you know how often I've heard... "so what kind of gifts do you like?" or "what kinds of things/activities would you be interested in" in the last 2-3 years? Honestly, I can only think of twice. And those 2 times were kind of brushed under the rug due to the other person's desires. Sounds like I need stand up for myself more and to date a different calibre of men? I'm not saying better, I'm saying different. More compatible I guess, maybe?

I still say there is some deep void missing in someone's life who prefers so sit and interact electronically instead of voice to voice, face to face, person to person. A couple of years ago I would have labled such a person a coward. My views are slowly changing. I even have a PS2 myself. I think I've played it 3 times this year. Real life is just so much better. I enjoy being active, moving, living. Gaming makes me feel like I'm sitting around lazy wasting my life away when there's a World out there God created for me to live and function in. I'd rather actually go out dancing then stay in with my dance dance revolution.
So to my gaming friends and family:Don't expect any games from me for christmas or birthdays or ever. And I say this with love. ( my step sister complained about her first husbands gaming but would go out and buy him games. It's like creating a monster, and then complaining when it wrecks your house.)

I would love to hear a successful gaming relationship where the spouse didn't need to convert or be converted to gaming to feel a part of their spouses life or feel that was the only way to spend "quality" time with their significant other. And where the Gaming partner really put their priorities in place as is able to have successful relationship with a truly happy spouse.

Ghetto Christmas Elf!

2008-12-12T03:27:00.000-08:00

This year, I'm a ghetto Christmas elf. One of my friends called me up the other day, she was getting out all of her christmas items and taking them to D.I. (Deseret Industries) which is the equivelent of the Salvation Army for those of you who don't live out west. She came across at Christmas wreath with a Raggedy Ann on it. Those who know me know I LOVE Raggedy Ann & Andy. So I told her "of course I want Raggedy Ann." And told her I'd come by to pick her up. When I eventually got there she had boxes and boxes of christmas decore. And this was really cute stuff. She said feel free to take what I wanted.

Since there was so much to go through I told her I'd just take the stuff and after going through it, I'd take it to D.I. Got the boxes home and there was some really fun stuff in there. Alot of it, not my style I was most interested in the pine garlands with lights and pine cones. She had a couple of Black Santa Clauses and Angels that I liked. As I was going through the stuff some of the names and faces of my neigbors started going through my head. I thought to myself... "How funny would it be to wake up and find extra christmas decorations in your yard and not know where it came from?" It cracked me up. The ideah was just funny and ghetto enough for me to be able to pull off.

Oh, don't worry, I'm safe in bloggin, my neigborhood doesn't blog really. Most of them say... "what's a blog." I probably won't be found out until weeks after Christmas. By then it'll be packed up and put in the storage for them to display next year. Actually Monday I did a Ghetto Elf Drop to 3 neigbors. I've passed their homes everyday and although they've added decorations to their yards, the one's I've added are still where I've left them. Soo Funny! I can't wait to hear the reactions from the neigbors through out the season.

It's going to be hilarious when people start talking and noticing. And even if they don't notice, Then I have a little Secret with God.... which is sometimes the way I like it best.
Now Go out and do some Ghetto Elfing yourselves!

It's The MOST Interesting Time Of The Year!

2008-11-30T21:23:00.000-08:00

For the next 9 days, I'm a twin. I happens this time every year. I could use that next time someone says "tell us something interesting about your self." I can say "I'm a twin 12 days out of the year!

My sister and I are 11 months apart. And there's a 12 day span when we're both the same age. Does anyone care to ask u our ages any other time of the year?

*SIGH* Nope!

After all these years I don't even care to elaborate anymore. When people say "Oh! Twins!" I just say, nope she's having a birthday in a few days and I'm not. It's fun to watch them figure it out.
Here's a Kicker! Growing up there were two brothers we knew. They were part time twins also, one brother was a day older than my sister and the other brother was a day older than me. We went to the same Jr and High School. I wonder if our moms were in the same hospital? That woulda been cool. I know the older one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class and then us 2 younger one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class. Then my family moved away but we ended up in the same schools after 6th grade.

K, so My birthday was the day after Thanksgiving this year. I spent it camping out at best buy so I could purchase this groovy lap top w/printer for 375$ That, my friends is a bargain! And it was a fun night. (you can read about it on my other blog: http://www.ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/ )

I got home about 6:45 am and slept almost til noon. I was awakened by a phone call... My neice was in Labor! They were all going to come here for the weekend but instead stayed in and behold: a little neice was born on my birthday :)

That's way cool but it's also the icing on the cake! I had a nephew born on my birthday 14 years ago. Oh, and I was born on my cousin Paul Warfield's 28th birthday. You know he was an NFL wide reciever with the 1972 Miami Dolphins world Champions.

My sister is a little bitter. She says I'm greedy and selfish with family being born on my same day. I don't think so. Now if they were ALL left-handed like me.... THAT would be greedy and selfish. HA! I have 2 cousins who are left-handed like me and their mom and I favor each other. You can defineately tell we're related. lol.

I did have a neice come close to my sister's birthday. But she decided to come 3 days early and was born on my sister's roomates birthday instead. Another neice was born on her mama's birthday (My sister in law's.) That seriously cracks me up, sister can't get a break.

I also get all the breaks when we go out around our birthdays. Typically we used to go to Vegas the first weekend in December which is the weekend between our birthdays. But I would get ALL the breaks: Free meals, slot machine jackpots, finding money on the floor and in ash trays. Oh I don't gamble anymore but I've been pretty fortunate when I did. I would never spend more than $40. When that was gone I was done. The thing is, It was never gone. I'd spend $2 on Nickels and win $50. Put my $40 in my pocket and play with 10$ . Turn that into $100 on the dollar poker machine, Pocket half of that, then spend another $5 and go win another $60 in Nickels again, then pocket half of that and go spend $10 in quarters and win another $300 on that.
*SIGH* GAMBLING IS EVIL, DON'T DO IT! Besides, your friends and family will turn on you when you keep winning and they don't. I'm proud to say I haven't gambled the last 3 times I've gone and it's been just as great of time. Maybe it's just birthday luck? Naw, I have a system. It works. Cuz when I taught it to my sister's roomate, she turned $20 in quarters into like 750$ in quarters.

*SIGH* Gambling is evil don't do it!

For the most part having a birthday this close to 2 holidays with a sister's brithday so close, its kinda sucks. Ok it REALLY sucks. Most people are out of town for the holidays, students are rushing back to take finals before christmas. People are shopping like crazy, or in a turkey coma still or they've just plain forgotten. But I make the most of it. I am finding ways to make it interesting and have learned how to enjoy it!

My poor sister though. Hey if anyone out there has a kid on December 9th, let me know. lol

Happy Holidays !

Much To Be Thankful For!

2008-11-24T23:18:00.000-08:00

Currently, I'm unemployed, recovering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which has my memory scattered on some days and I forget things more that I'd like to admit. I'm no longer engaged but working things out, I have a level II sprained MCL with another 4 months in a leg brace and physical therapy. Can't keep my days straight, and get tired way too easily. This has been going on for for the last 5 1/2 months.

I am so grateful. SO GRATEFUL! All these experiences has given me the opportunity to be served. It has shown me the Gospel of Jesus Christ in action. I've recieved much love and care from so many friends, even strangers. One of the greatest securities is to know that you can show up amongst friends in any condition and know you will be well taken care of.

I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to reconnect with that boy who captured my heart in high school and spend time with him and his family in my hometown. I'm grateful for the opportunity to rebuild the friendship...and the joy it brings me.

I'm grateful for the patience of those around me. For their understanding of my state of mind, and my sometimes less than par attitude. And for their continued love and understanding.

I'm grateful for the gifts of Tolerance, Patience, Wisdom, Forgiveness, Knowlege, Empathy, Concern, and Peace. I know those around me have been blessed with an overabundance of these things for my benefit.

I'm grateful for prayer and the knowledge that I can talk my Heavenly Father and KNOW that he hears my cries and will answer my prayers. I'm grateful to know that in all my wrong doings he still wants me to succeed. He will meet me where I am in my time of need and give me the tools the endure whatever trials he places before me. I am grateful for trials and the refiner's fire they bring me through.

I'm grateful for my freedoms. Regardless of what people think of our Government we live in a country where we really do have the opportunity to succeed beyond measures of any other country. I'm grateful for government leaders, church leaders, leaders of large and small corporations that work to keep this country moving. What other country is the world is so grate that thousands of people are rushing to enter each day?

I'm Grateful for the Word of God and Scripture. Not must my scriptures but any good books that promote the righteous building up of the Kingdom of God. I'm grateful for anything that brings man closer to God the Father and his son Jesus Christ.

I'm grateful for a pioneering spirit! Hard times are soon ahead. I'm grateful for the ablility and skills I've learned in knowing how to function w/o the modern conveniences if need be. What a STRANG thing to be thankful for, huh? I'm VERY grateful I know how to be poor and live in humble circumstances when needed. If you are prepared you shall not fear.

I am grateful for the gift of being satisfied with my needs being taken care of. I'm not really interested in the latest and greatest tool, gadget or article of clothings this year. I am satisfied and finding joy in that satisfied. This doesn't by any means that I don't look for ways to improve and strive towards it. It does mean that throughout all these things going on around me, I know that I am a daughter of THE MOST HIGH GOD, and I trust he has a plan for me. I know God my Father has my situation all worked out and in my struggle to learn those things I need to get to that place, I know the journey is for MY benefit and I will find joy and gratitude in the journey regardless of how difficult it may be.

Many of us have reasons to be down and depressed this holiday season. I promise you that whatever you choose to focus on is what will grow. If you praise that which is good and magnify it, you will be ever blessed with it more great abundance. If you seek out those things which are down, depressing and negative, you will find yourself surrounded in more of it.
I testify to you all, That God is our Father. Jesus is our Savior. And men are that they should have joy. And that Joy is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ which has been restored to the earth.
The Lord loves us the same as he loved the early inhabitants of the world. The Lord gave them Prophets to guide them. Althought we are in periless times he does not love us any less. He would not leave us prophetless today. God Loves us so he sent his son, who organized his church upon the earth. HE IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW.

Through my struggles I am here to day that I am grateful for all that God has given me and I will not wait until my struggles are few to show that gratitude and testify of the Love and Goodness of The Lord.

I hope this holiday season, no matter what you find yourself in the midst of that we will all look around and see the great and many gifts in our lives and ever look for reasons to be grateful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

some of you really liked last years message so here's the link to it, enjoy: http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/2007/11/happy-thanksgiving.html

I LIKE SARA PALIN

2008-11-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

I really really do like the woman. (She can bagg a carabou!)

Because in some ways I can relate to her. I'm not sure I know all the countries and continents. Actually in that regard I don't think she's that different from A LOT of Americans. Think about it. She didn't get to be Governor of Alaska for being an idiot. And who am I to insult an entire state by assuming such? I think she's got way more in common with the average person than McCain or Obama. Not to say that these two men aren't brilliant in whatever it is they're good at.

Palin is not that much different then most of us. Went to about 3 or 4 different colleges... one in her native state, one in Hawaii and 2 in Idaho. I know alot of my friends can't tell the difference in a country and a continent.
She wasn't only a beauty queen but she graduated in journalism and was a sports broadcaster. Isn't that what every guy wants, a beauty queen who's into sports? She not only helps with the family fishing business. She ran for city council... and won. She ran for city mayor... and won. And she ran for Governor... and WON. So Sara is definitely doing something right.

Not only all of that, she's been married for 20 years, is a hockey mom, had a kid this year so that's a total of 5 and they all have really cool names: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. Trig is the baby and has down syndrome. Her oldest was recently deployed with the military. Her 18 year old is pregnant and about to get married. Who CAN'T relate to much of that? And let's face it the woman has really good fashion sense. I dare say she has more in common with the average American than Obama or McCain.

Does this mean she's fit to be president or vice president? Yes and No. She kept the names and phone numbers of the people in the city she lived and called them to ask "how's the city doing?" I like those kinds of politics she was in touch with the people who elected her to serve. Just a regular girl next door. Which is probably why she's getting such a bad wrap. We say way the problem with politics is politicians. And then we say the problem with Sara is she's too much like the average American. She made fun of herself, defended herself and rolled with every punch she was throw and even threw a few herself. She can hang out in my culdesac anytime.

We don't know what we want in this country so we poo poo any and everything.

I believe if Sara Palin lived on my block we would be good friends. Cleaning fish and bottling jam, talking about kids and sports whilst she sipping on a diet Dr pepper and me an orange crush.
Go ahead and tease her if you want but I think there's something about the girl that didn't get a fair shake.
Yeah, I really do think she's a cool woman. (That doesn't mean I want her as my president or vice president at this time.) But I'll take her as a neighbor and friend to just hang with on a regular basis.
I hope we haven't seen the last of her.

OH NO HE DIDN'T

2008-11-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to the first press Conference for Barack Obama.
They asked the man about the dog he's getting his daughters. He wants a hypo-allergenic and "a mutt just like me." Is what he said.

The President elect just referred to himself as a "MUTT." WHAT THE CRAP????

I'm not sure I like that. Y'all know how in parts of the black community we have people who call themselves "Negro" and "Nigga" and things like that? But someone else do it, there's hell to pay.
Just so we're clear, I don't like it. I know if I use those words, society takes it as being ok or permission for them to do the same. I fear President Obama just opened that door. Yeah, yeah, I know you gotta be able to laugh are yourself and have a sense of humor. And boy if anyone needs it he sure does. So I guess maybe I'm more shocked than anything. I'm trying to think back in history and see if I can remember anyone else referring to themselves as a redneck, or adulterer, or hick or anything of the sort. There probably is.

Anyway... I guess I wasn't expecting it. Or maybe I was, but not so soon? I dunno.

But just so we're clear..... Just because the President Elect refers to HIMSELF as a mutt..... don't give you permission to refer to it.

Capiche? ;)

KISS ME, I VOTED!!!!

2008-11-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

TODAY: November 4, 2008

That's right folks! Plant one on my lips, Kiss my cheeks or kiss my butt i don't care! Got up this morning, put on my all american uniform.... blue jeans, gray t-shirt with 3 red and blue stars and the white letters U.S.A, a blue hoodie with the word KALAMAZOO scripted acrossed it. Brushed my teeth, bumped my hair, put on some lip gloss and drove a mile down the street to the firehouse. Greeted by friends, neigbors and other members of my community and casted my vote for the President of the United States!

What an honor to be part of this historic election! What an honor to be part of the process. What a blessing to be able to stand up today at the forefront of my generations and blood lines in honor of those relatives who couldn't vote because they were female or black and couldn't have a voice for whatever reason back in their day!

Today, November 4, 2008 The ground is wet, the clouds are sprinking and the air is cold. I smell the winds of change in the air. If you've come here to find out who I voted for, you'll be disappointed. I remember one as a little girl asking my mama who she voted for and you know what she said to me? She said
"That's between me and The Lord."
I've always gone by that rule and have never disclosed who I've voted for. I don't see a reason to start today. I will say as far as I was concerned I had Baracknophobia and a McCain in the butt. But last night again I went over the issues from both parties (that issues I could find, that is) and made a choice. Today I ROCKED that choice.
This is the greatest country in the world regardless of who is and will be running it. It's citizens doing their civic duty that make it that way.

This was my daughter's first election. She rocked her vote early, as most of the younger americans are doing. Her feelings on the issue are this and I QUOTE:

"Either way, the country is going down the drain... or down the drain further. Who ever wins is going to lead us closer to the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ and THAT'S what I'm excited for! I can't wait to see how the 2nd coming all plays out, I'm so excited for that!"

Yeah, she took me for loop for a minute as well. And I took some pride in the fact the we're taught... "IF YOU ARE PREPARED, YOU SHALL NOT FEAR."

We are facing perilous and troublesome times ahead. And if we are prepared, we will not fear.
And for those who have said....There will be a black man in office or a woman in office when hell freezes over..... guess what? The weather forecast is calling for snow by tomorrow morning.
Either way the freezing process has begun.

Signed,
Single Christian Black American Mama (not affiliated with any political party)

AND I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!

Raising Teen Agers In Todays World.

2008-11-02T18:12:00.000-08:00

I was asked to be the guest speaker and on a panal about single parent's raising teenagers in todays world.
It's turned into quite a lengthy blog. But I'm pleased at the outcome of what I'll be speaking on.
Here's the link to it, Hope you enjoy it and will give me lots of feedback, I could sure use it.
Thanks

http://oldschoolmormonmama.blogspot.com/

Perfectly Happy Going Without

2008-10-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Is it a woman thing? The more I talk t women the more I realize that women are more than happy to go without having certain needs of their own met but will work tirelessly to fulfill someone elses needs. Have we been conditioned to be happy going without and to find our fillfullment in serving others? I know I tend to feel guilt and selfishness when I focus on my needs. I often feel bad about asking for what I need or usually have learned a way to fullfill it on my own without the help of others.

DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY? Anyone? I was able to go to a women's conference last spring. I didnt want to go, some friends talked me into going. And the discussion came around to this subject. The meeting turned out to be so uplifting. because one by one the women started to share experiences such as this. Turns out just about EVERYONE was feeling this way.

I took things a bit further and spoke to alot of my male friends. I was very shocked to find that very few of them felt this way. I think there were about 3 who said they experient it on a regular basis. But most guys don't really discuss these types of things most of the time either. Of the 12 male friends I asked, only 3 really experienced this.

What is it about the majority of women that we feel this need to be more concerned about everyone but ourselves? Part of it is the nature of being a mother and wife I'm sure. Especially most single mothers. The reason I single out single mothers is this: Most single mothers have their kids 24/7 with the exclusion of a couple holidays and everyother weekend. I've got a few single father friends who SAY they would love to have their child fulltime. I'm not sure they realize the impatience they have when they do have them for just the weekend. This doesn't mean they don't love them, because they do. Doesn't mean they don't miss them because they do. It doesn't mean they're sad to see them go when they leave because they are. But there is usually a sigh of relief that comes with getting their space and time and focus back on themselves.

I dunno, that's just my opinion from what I see in those around me.

Back to being so willing to go without. I was talking to my daughter yesterday. She's been in a funk this week and has decided not to go to a huge well known university halloween activity because she's afraid she'll put everyone else in a funk. A part of me cheers her on for her being such an unselfish child. She really is, she was never really greedy or one to get stuff just because she could or because it was free. She was always more concerned with someone else's needs above her own wants. But in doing so she's lost the balance of taking care of her own needs and wants. I'm not sure she really learned that balance, I know her mother hasn't. She voiced her guilt and discomfort in doing so. And being away at college she's figuring out what happens quickly if she doesn't learn to take care of herself as well as others.

I'm not sure how we go on this subject but I found myself in a dicussion about being co-dependant. This was a while back but whenever the subject of self sacrifice and going without comes up I remember the conversation about being co-dependant.
In our discussion we decided it was another imbalance of self love.
Too much self love brings on greed and lack of self awarness and flaws. It kind of mimicks too little self love which brings on lack of self respect and confidence and that can manifest itself as arrogance .
Too littl self love brings on passivness and people pleasing. Always bending and breaking and giving in to other peoples demands regardless of how it makes us feel. Always pleasing the other person to insure their friendship and love.

Well that's not good either. So what is the healthy balance of self love? What is the magic solution to finding a healthy balance of give and take?

In thinking this through it really is quite simple: Love thy neigbors AS thyself. As I have loved you, love one another.
Not more than yourself. Not less than yourself. AS... meaning AS MUCH AS... yourself.
It really does make sense.
If I'm taking care of you as much as I'm taking care of myself, and you're taking care of me as much as you're taking care of yourself, then we are both hopefully well taken care of.

I also heard... on a commercial ... someone actually said "if we all take care of each other then the world would be taken care of." Is it really this simple? Can it really be this simple? I believe it can be. I've seen it, and have experienced it in my community this summer. And when people realize they can put aside their wants for a little while and step up and provide a need for someone else it becomes very fullfilling for everyone.

We also need to be very careful about our own willingness to give. Giving can backfire if you enjoy doing it. Because people will expect and assume you to always have the ability to do it. So when you do take a mind to take care of your own needs, it becomes a problem especially in relationships. We have to be careful not to bend and adjust so much, that we lose ourselves and aren't getting what we need.
It's very loving to be able to take care of yourself. It puts you in a better position to take care of others. It actually makes you happier with others and more tolerable.
I think it's also very important to realize that more times than not, we are all on both sides of finding that balance. Our ability to talk and express it to each other with proper respect and undersanding to each other will help us all find that balance.

You Can Laugh At Me If You Wanna.....

2008-10-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

BUT I..... AM.... AWESOME! No, seriously I am! GIVE IT UP FOR ME!
I made 3 gallons of homemade laundry soap. If you know me, you know I like making, baking, caking, creating whatever. And when I find something new to make, I take a recipe or instructions, analyze it, make it my own and then obsess and make tons of it because it' so exciting and new to me. This is no different. If I had containers I'd me making different colors and scents of the stuff. As it is I only made 1 batch and it'll probably last all winter long.

It's not that I can't afford laundry soap cuz I can. But shoot if I can make something at home for pennies of the cost why the heck not? It's like a fun science project that you can use on almost a daily basis and you can personalize it with different scents or no scent at all if you want.
It works so well I'm thinking of selling the stuff. It can be made into laundry liquid or powder so it covers all the basis. You can make it a family project. I can't wait to send it to my daughter in college so I can save her come $ too.

K. so I know you're anxious to get started on your own batch so I'll share the recipe and instructions. I promise you've never be so anxious and giddy to do laundry in ALL you life. You Pioneering generations that walked the earth hundreds of years before you did will gather as angels and sing praises to your good ol' fashioned old school roots. And this soap is as Eco and environmentally safe as YOU make it.

Let's get started!

The ingredients you'll need are quite simple:

2 bars of soap

(Use whatever you have on hand or whatever you like. Keep in mind this will also be what your laundry will smell like. I had some "coast" hanging around so I used that. All you eco friendly and Greenies out there, go find yourself an environmental friendly bar of soap that is fat or vegitable based and not petrolium based.)

1/2 cup of Borax

( This is a natural mineral mineral: , also known as sodium borate, sodium tetraborate, or disodium tetraborate, is an important boron compound, a mineral, and a salt of boric acid. It is usually a white powder consisting of soft colorless crystals that dissolve easily in water.) Although it is a natural mineral becareful and mindful of breathing too much of it is, it can be irritating.

1 & 1/2 cups of Washing Soda (this is usually found in the laundry isle in the Arm and Hammer box. it actually looks like a box of baking soda on STEROIDS.)

*Pppppst! I have a side note....* Notice above I mentioned washing soda and not baking soda? They are 2 different things. Washing soda is Sodium Carbonate. Baking soda is Sodium bi-carbonate. No, this doesn't meant it's corbonate that "swings both ways", it just means it a different compound. If you go to the website of the yellow box with bicept and mallet they'll tell you the 2 aren't interchangeable. And they aren't. You CANNOT use washing powder for baking, cooking or for any ingestion at all. However they do not tell you that you can, indeed, use baking soda for cleaning and external needs. I thing it's because they want you to go out and purchase their other product but that's just me. I bring this up to say that You can use baking soda is this recipe if you can't find washing soda and it does a might fine job as well!

3 gallons of good ole hot tap water

one 5 gallon bucket

First thing you wanna do is put 4 cups of water into on the stove and bring to just under boiling.

Then fill your 5 gallon bucket with 3 gallons of hot tap water ( you can boil this water as well but I haven't found it necessary)

While your 4 cups of water is heating you'll want to grate your soap into small slivers. You can use a potato peeler, cheese gater, or cut it up and then add to your food processor or blender for smaller pieces.
Then slowly add the soap into the pot of hot water and start to dissolve it. Make sure you're stirring the soapy water so it doesn't boil over. It can boil, but you dont want it to boil over. Stir soapy water mixture until all the soap is dissolved.

When all the soap is dissolved, add that mixture to the bucket of hot water and stir. Then add the Washing/baking Soda and stir that until dissolved. Then add the borax and stir until dissolved. When it's all mixed together... in the words of Ronco... "set it and forget it." You'll want to let it cool, usually over night.

When you wake up the next morning you have this GLORIOUSLY sludgy gel that works just as well as the leading laundry detergents on the market.

Now My own variations:
I used coast because I had some, I like the smell and wanted to see if that's how it would smell. Also the color was of interest. I wanted to see if it would make blue laundry soap. It did. It's a pale light blue and that's ok. So just know if you use a yellow, pink or purple bar of soap, that's what color your detergent will be.
So what ever bar you use will be the scent and the color. ( I can't wait to use my pink morrocan oil scented caress bar next *wink*)

I also added a little salt (sodium) t0 the mix because we tend to have hard water and this breaks up mineral deposites that make colors dingy and allows the fabric to keep their dye fabrics longer.

Last but not least I added Tea tree oil into the hot water bucket. about 7-10 drops. I chose tea tree because I had it readily available and because winter is coming.
Tea tree oil has the following properties: it’s anti fungal, anti microbial and anti septic. It also has been historically known to aid in headache, and sinus relief. ( See I TOLD YOU I WAS AWESOME!)

Now for those of you who don't have a place to store 3 gallons or poo poo on liquid laundry detergent, I have not forgotten you! You will use the same recipe except omit the water.

So with your bar soap, you'll put it in the blender/food processor with the borax and Washing Soda. Place wet towel over the top of it to capture the dust from the blending of it. Blend it all together into a powder. Put the washing powder into a jar or zip lock baggie for easier space friendly storage. Use about 1/2 to 1 tablespoon per load.

Try it! And holla back at me on how it works for you.

Tis a BOOOtiful Seezun!

2008-10-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

turned to my sister a couple days ago and said.... "I wanna get the house prepared for the fall!"
To which she said.. "OK, we'll start tomorrow." Tomorrow was yesterday. So I'm looking at fall-ish and harvest type things... Pumkins, cornicopia's, indian corn and all that and she's looking at skulls and tombstones and other goulish type things.
Do you smell a conflict??????
Naw, you dont. We've decided to do the outside haunted and the inside fall harvest. So our residence are total opposites. I must say, the outside is a little creepy. Im going in thru the garage entrance so I don't have to pass the tombstones and the 1ft spider with the 3.5ft leg span I bought to put on the bush outside.
we've got blinking eye balls in the upstairs windows, a phantom with bloody hand prints in the front window. The face is lighted and fades in and out. we've got blinking skull lanterns in one of the trees and a grave stone beneath it and several other tombstones in the front yard. Then we've got a couple of sound and motion censor things that scream, howl and play organ music while lighting up every time someone walks by or a sound is loud enough.
We didn't start the process until after dark because we wanted it to appear as if it happened overnight. I few neigbors came out to hear what all the screams and yells were because i was dark. We asked them if the stuff was too loud, and they LOVED IT.

Skull Spider

New doorbell. Lights up, plays oregon music

Mildred the Spider

Let your self go....but ONLY if you can bring yourself Back!

2008-09-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

I just finished my first physical therapy session. *whew* I'm glad I don't have to go to an actual medical facility for it, I can do it at my leisure. The neigborhood has a community club house with exercise room and pool. I'm on relatively light schedule for the first month, but it is painful. Here are the Dr's orders:

20 minutes on a stationery bike every other day ( I was told not to ride a real bike as I could fall and cause futher damage to my injury

stretching and mobilty flexing EVERYDAY on this knee

Light walking everyday

Naproxin twice daily... especially at night.

I have 2 groovy braces.
One is a compression sleave I bought while in Michigan. (Dr said "good move on that, by the way.") that's my daytime light activity brace.
the other is more for stability and control. It's got metal on the sides and straps that go around my leg keeping things secure and tight. I mostly use that one for when I'm running around on errands, climbing alot of stairs and sleeping. Both help temendously with the pain.

Oh, it turns out I may not have a medial meniscus tear.

They're really thinking it's more of a level 2 MCL sprain. So that means probably not surgery, but a longer healing time of about 4-6 months. AUGH! I seriously said to him... .Can we just break it? but it in a cast for 6 weeks, 2 weeks therapy after that can cut the healing time in half? *sigh* That was a no go.
Augh.... 4 months..... SERIOUSLY? (4 months in a brace and then as needed after that....)
Let's see it's basically october, november, december, Jan?

If the recovery time isn't bad enough, here's the list of what I can't do:
No softball or any other possible contact sports (so much for street hockey on roller blades for the fall
no Blading or skating
or ANYTHING with undeeded lateral movements. (you know those lateral angles that you , but pants, socks and shoes on?... yeah, I can do that, but it HURTS like.... like I wanna cuss.)

unnecessary driving is out. Getting in and out of a car.... yeah, kinda painful but doable. I'm suprizes at lateral angle one holds their legs when they drive it just sort of lays off to the side while on the gas. (thank goodness for cruise control)

No Skiing or snowboarding. So that big weekend on the mountain is out for this season

What I'm really gonna miss... is the yearly thanksgiving football game in the park. *sigh*. Gonna have to be a cheerleader this year. Oh... wait...no Jumping or kicks. :(

Wait.... it could be worse so I'm not complaining... just...preparing.

Sooooo this is the regime for the next 4 weeks. IF things aren't better than he'll probably go in for surgery. If there is improvements, he'll add on to the regimen.

So like John Legend says... I need to take it slow, which I'm really not good at doing.

I like to get things done ahead of time if possible. So I'm well prepared and not last minute stressing ,rushing and better prepared for unforseen happenings.

Oh, I'm adaptable and adjusts well under pressure. I do my best work under pressure. This was certainly not something I would want to have to prepare for. So Im just gonna roll with the punches.

I've been thinking, with this PT it's going to be a long road and I'll be 41 in november. I see my parents starting to need aide in there everyday living: Canes, glasses, and other assistance to make life easier. Im still relatively young, I look young. I forget Im a teenager and will do those things a 40 year old body has forgotten about.
I'm sick of walking up stairs and hills and being winded afterwards. Everytime I hit a set of stairs I sound like a bowl of rice krispy's. I am at my heaviest weight wise which is whole new Multitude of problems with a family history of diabetes, Sleep apnea, cancer, arthritis & high blood pressure. An over weight middle aged african american with a history of those things is just looking at older age of aches, pains and daily medication. I think I want to get these things under control in the next couple years. Getting old is going to be tough enough without me being lazy in my physical upkeep.

I have let myself go. I feel like I'm ready to bring myself back. This whole month and a half of knee pain... and Im talking severe... can't sleep at night, throbbing and spasm up and down my leg and can barely walk the stairs... had really made me see that I don't want to live with it for the rest of my life, however long that may be. We all die of something, but that doesn't mean we have to help death out.

I'm less concerned about losing weight and more concerned about living healthier, being more physically active and productive. I'm sick of clothes not fitting right and looking nice according to MY standards (no one elses).

As I think of the things we do on a daily basis anyway:
Shower/bathe
brush teeth
comb hair
wash hands after using the restroom and before eating.
Ok well I HOPE we all do these things on daily basis.

We eat daily to stay alive and sometimes for enjoyment
We should do something on a regular basis as well.

I'm on it.

( I got a good start, I came home from Michigan 15 lbs lighter and have lost another 7 since I've been back. I can fell the improvments on my joints and breathing already)

SOOOOOOO if anyone is bored between 6pm-7pm gimme a shout out, I'll be headed to the club house exercise room every other day. And then about 8 or 9 pm I'll be walking the neigborhood.
( I may even try to do some walking in the early morning... but don't quote me on that)

SILENT SUNDAYS!

2008-09-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

Silent Sundays. No words, Just pics.

Yucky Week Ramblings.

2008-09-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

I've been kinda blah all week. Im soooooooo freakin tired. I wondered if I were still on Michigan time. Who the heck knows.
So, this is my story for today:
Back in the beginning of August I slipped down the carpeted steps in our house. It hurt like a MUTHA! For 10 minutes all I could do is sit on the stairs and rock back in forth in pain before I even attempted to put any weight on my leg. after about 15 min I could stand on it. It hurt, but little by little the pain subsided. I was to be a chaperone for the youth at church to the local Amusement part. I prolly should have just stayed home and went to the Dr then. But I was bribbed into going about 9pm the night before and it was an AWESOME bribe: A black forest cake and a $100 bill. So I went. It's only about a 30 minute car ride if that long. So by the time I got to the amusement park my leg was stiff and painful. I eased my way out of the car and went about the day. I put ice on my swollen knee and ankle when I could, rested when i could. For the most part if I kept on moving or didn't stand or sit for too long or angle my knee and ankle too much I was in good shape.
The ride home, it was pretty stiff again. So when I got home I elevated it and iced it and stayed off it for a couple days and just took it easy. The swelling did go down but it's never really stopped hurting and still stiffens up when I'm not on it. Night time is WORSE, it not only locks up and becomes stiff and painfull, it throbs and shoots pains up my let to my pelvic area.

*sigh*

So anyway I just figured if I take it easy and keep it iced it would get better. 10 days after it happend I was on a plane to michigan and there I remained until about a week ago. In michigan it got worse. Humidity will do that to joints and sometimes it got cold to me and that didn't help. I had taken some pain meds and rationed them out for the 3 weeks. At night when I just couldn't take it I would resort to lortab and ibu 800. That would keep me through the night.

Well this passed week it's gotten to the point where I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE! To this afternoon after my meetings and what not, I venture to the Dr's. I explained what happened a month and a half ago. They're pretty sure its not a fracture or a bone chip or anything like that but they take exrays to make sure.
Then the diagnosis: Torn medial Meniscus. yeah, I had to look it up too, y'all. basically that means the tissue on the inside of my knee is prolly torn and starting to heal with broken scar tissue and cartilage hanging around it. I'm picturing a chicken leg with shredded meat off the bone. It's probably not that bad but that's my mind for ya.

So he writes me a RX for some anti inflams that BETTER WORK DOGGONE IT! Cuz it wakes me up most nights.
Then he gives me this really AWESOME knee brace! It's got the metal braces on each side of the knee, it's fitting so it applies pressure where the pain is and is holding the tissue together and it's got velcro straps around the back and front to keep it secure on my leg. I'm excited to be adding this to my Klutz Kollection. ( I have air cast, broken foot boots, ankle braces, knee braces, neck braces, finger splints, crutches... )

So I was given the names of 2 orthopedic surgeons to call and go see on Monday. They're pretty sure I'll need surgery. :( I'm not too crazy about that. If I do need it, I'm gonna try and knock it out here in the next couple to three weeks and if that's the case I may as well get that cateracts surgery done at the same time since I'll be down anyway.
In the mean time the Dr put me on RICE. RICE=Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. And to avoid taking the stairs if I don't have to.

Poor Dr has never been to my house. I had to laugh. All (and I mean ALL the bedrooms AND bathrooms are upstairs. 13 stairs. You do go down 13 stairs and you hit the living room. then you go up one stair and there as small landing. if you turn left you go down 6 more stairs into the family room. if you go straight you go up 1 step into the kitchen. The washer and dryer are in the basement.

I can't see living upstairs close to the bathroom from now until whenever. But i can't see just living downstairs w/o the bathrooms.

ya gotta love it.

Right now I'm in my bed on my sister's lap top with leg elevated. She doesn't care but I like feeling like I'm being sneaky. she feels bad because I wanted her to drive me to the doctors since it's my driving leg that's messed up but she didn't want to go. I told her not to worry about it. But older sisters are supposed to I guess, it's their JOB. (besides she's only 11 months older)

So I've been thinking about this summer as a whole. It's been pretty stinky in some ways and absolutely awesome in others.

before I left for Michigan my wedding dress was a little tight. Now it's too big. They made me put it on as soon as I got back. And before I could suck in the thing was zipped up and hanging off me in front. Adonis is the best diet Ever :)

Oh, Did i mention I chipped a tooth on Monday? My front left tooth chipped off. I got that taken care of yesterday. My daughter and I were in the Dentist office from 8 am til 11 am. What's really cool is they had to put a crown on my daughters tooth and they made it on the computer, sent the image to a machine, and the machine made it right there in the office.

I also lost my phone Tuesday afternoon and some guy found it and got it back to me late thursday night. To make matters worse, Verizon towers were having trouble in the Cache country and wasatch front areas. So verizoner could get texts but not send them. I was proud when I got my phone back it had 1 bar left. Nice. To bad it's now dropping calls and peoples voices are sounding choppy for the most part when they call. It takes for ever to send a text it says "sending" a good 3 minutes before it says failed or message sent so I've all but been ignoring it today.

geeze anything else happen this week? Oh yeah, I found out my neice fell down the fire escape 2 nights before I left michigan. the family didn't tell me, because they knew I would have cancelled my flight home and stayed another week with them. She had a concussion and has a broken nose and what not. I feel sad i didn't get to see them much while I was there. I guess she fell 12 feet straight down a fire escape and landed on her feet, but she landed on a basket ball which caused her to fall straight backwards onto the cement flooring. The empact broke her little nose. She's got 2 blackened eyes and her teeth went thru her lip (just like her daddy, my brother, did when he had an accident as a kid)

blah. I'm sore. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm anxious and nervous about this knee thing. I'm supposed to be job hunting this week. I'll do that inbetween dr appointments i guess.

Right now I'm gonna crawl downstairs... (shhhhhhhh! don't tell on me..) get some ice for this knee, crawl back upstairs grab my little personal dvd player and hang out with Harry Potter the rest of the night and enjoy some apple pie "ontha mode' ;)

To you I say RELEASE THE PEACE!

Home Sweet Home??

2008-09-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

So I left my home in Utah to go back home to Michigan for 3 weeks and now I'm back home in Utah. Home Sweet Home, right? Sure, why not... um... Which home are we talkin 'bout folks?

Being back home in Michigan was... surreal for me. Normally when you go BACK home you're staying with family in your old house you grew up with and seeing old friends and neigbors and what not.
Yeah.... well, not so much the case. I stayed with a Man I haven't seen or been around in about 23 years.
For the most part I enjoyed my trip and my time in Michigan. But it was difficult for me to be back in the the home town. I left with a lot of emotional loose ends. So all the old memories and intimidations and things came rushing back to me. Very little was familiar but so much was familiar. It was like being in a different world but running into parts of my life there.
I was able to see my my Grandmother that i haven't seen in about 4 years. Her health isn't all that great and I'm not sure when I'll be able to see her again. We went to her birthday party and I was able to see aunts, uncles and cousin's I haven't seen in a while. Awesome seeing them and looking forward to seeing them at the family reunion next summer.
I met Adonis Family. I think they're great and they remind me of my own family.

There are defineate things about Michigan I miss, like tree covered streets and the freshness of the evergreens and the wonder and beauty of the great lakes. I miss Volcano Pizza and Chicken Coop Wings, Hot stuff potato chips and faygo pop. And being 30 minutes away from some of the extended family and missing certain parts of their lives.

What I don't miss... is the Humidity. I have RA. Most nights I couldn't sleep because the pain in my knee and hip was so horrible and my meds didn't really touch it. I don't miss people cussing and swearing as part of everyday language. I don't miss the having to always watch my back and be on Alert 24/7. I could name a few others but I wont.

For the most part I've spent half of my life in Michigan and the other half in Utah. Both places have a unique beauty all their own. When asked which place I like better, it's hard to give an honest answer in terms of geographical specifics. I base which place I like better on where I have been most successful and thrived the most. Where I'm most comfortable, safe and at peace.
Well I've been both places and have successful to some degree in both places. I consider both places home and why shouldn't I?

It was fun to go back and see the old high school, football stadium and softball field where I, girl jock ROCKED at my sport. It was fun to see the houses I grew up in and the neigborhoods I rode bikes around and even some of the people I went to school with.

It was also fun to come back home and see the mountain side and sleep and wake up without too much pain and to be back in my house, my yard and my personal space. And to know Im going to a place... a community that genuinelycares about each other and that caring is welcomed.

Home Sweet Home???

Aw yeah..... Home Sweet Home!

Memories

2008-08-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

I hope this is a good idea
Everyone needs to play...This is Fun!
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember--it can be funny, weird, awkward, random, etc.!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses.If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Will Work for Food!

2008-07-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously, because trying to pay for food didn't work at all tonight.

2 of my friends had birthdays today so a gang of us went out to dinner for celebration. We got to the restaurant at 6:30 and were finally seated at 7:15. The joint was hoppin and there was hustle and bustle all over the place. You would have thought it was rush hour on i-15 the way traffic was running through the dining room.

The waiter comes and takes our drinkk orders. There's a party of 12 of us and all but 2 of us have seperate checks. Our waiter was on it. I was unsure of what to order and he actually sat next to me as we discussed the 3 options i couldn't decide on. I like that he took the personal time to hang out with me for 5 minutes and discuss the details of tuscan potates and actually what capers were.

They bring us our salads and bread, and other appetizers and we pass the pre foods around the table. I'm anxious for the chicken dish I ordered sauteed in onions and mushrooms with red potatoes and so on. Each person's meal comes. He places mine in front of me and I'm staring at my plate... my red potatoes are blackened, my onions resemble black potatoe chips and everything tastes burnt. I stared at the waiter rushes of to get the other dinner plates and take care of his other tables. finally when he returned I have him check out my plate.
" Sooo, tell me Sean" I said... "does this look burnt to you?" And he gasps in embarrasement.
"well, let me take that back and have another one made up for you, or would you rather try something else?" "well, since this dish didn't work out so well, how about i try that 2nd dish we talked about?" " I'll get that right in for ya..." he said and off he rushes to the kitchen. Most everyone else is 1/2 way through their meal except for my sister who asked for medium well stake and was staring at a very RARE peice of beef... he takes her plate back as well and has them recook hers. By the time our dinners come out, we're full on famous salad and breadsticks and ask for our dinner to be put into a box.

Sean brings out our dinners, asks us to check them to make sure they're to our satisfaction. They look wonderful! So our waiter, who was actually on point for most of our stay, gets the boxes and begins to box our dinners. He gives my sister her dinner and begins to box up mine.

Im conversing with my dinner companions and the half of the table facing Sean breaks into a big "GASP!" I turn and look. A customer knocks into Sean and my dinner is now half in the box and half spilled on the tray. Everyone looks at me and I just laugh and think "oh well, it happens."

Good Ole Sean apologizes profusely and heads straight to the manager and asks her to comp my meal. He then comes straight over to me and lets me know he has the cook preparing a 3rd meal for me and he's having it boxed right ups and there will be no charge for it. I thanked him and assured him that he did a might fine job. I left him a 7$ tip on a 3.50 bill cuz Really, it's hard to be a server when the kitchen is off, and quite frankly, I LIKED SEAN THE SERVER.

I get my packaged food and my sister and I head home and I'm hungry. So I call my daughter who chose to stay home and back a store bought pizza. We're 1/2 a mile from home and I ask her... ' Hey is there any pizza left?"
To which she says... "umm aren't you at dinner? I the pizza isn't cooked yet because I didnt get hungry til now."
I tell her "put the pizza in, I'm starving!" I tell her.

She says... "lady what is wrong with you, you just spent 3 hours at the restaurant and you didn't eat?"
I told her I'd explain when I get home.

I explained when got home and we just laughed about it. True I had my "to go" dinner but decided to save it for tomorrow and I was quite looking forward to walmart pepperoni store bought pizza.

I'm sitting in the living room about 10 minutes later and I hear a very loud "AUGH!" come from the kitchen.
My daughter dropped the pizza on the oven door. By this time all I could do is laugh.
I've decided to give up on dinner tonight and just pray so it's called fasting and not starvation.

Anyway, if you know someone will an extra plate and some leftovers tell them you know someone who will work for food.
:)

Camp Dudley!!

2008-07-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

IT"S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!!!!!

Camp Dudley Time! I started "camp dudley" about 3 years ago. My daughter and I had just moved into our new condo and 2 of my neices were coming out during the summer. So I created Camp Dudley. Since my daughter is an only child and was living far away from her cousins I wanted to find a way for her to know them and be close to them so Camp Dudley was established. When she was younger she would spend every other summer with family members. It was difficult at first sending my only child away for the summer. But it proved to be beneficial in the long run. She learned how to become less shy and afraid to be away from home. I learned how to give her some room to and be more independant and less of a worrying mother.

Camp Dudley last anywhere from a weekend to 2 weeks. I'm the camp director (cuz Im the favorite aunt... they call me the "Mary Poppins" of the family) My sister is Assistant Camp director, My brother is the Camp Maintenance and My daughter is now a Camp Councelor.

The Neices and Nephews are split in ages 19-3. 3 of them live in Utah, 5 of them live in California and 6 of them in Michigan. And add my daughter to the mix. I've never had all 15 of them at once although I would LOVE IT if it were to happen.

some of the activies we enjoy are:
Drive in movies
bbq's
Pool party olympics
Build your own pizza contest
Arts and Crafts
One of my nephews got to be on a parad float one year
Camping, fishing, canoeing
Riding the trax & light rail into downtown
State & Church History tours
Educational field trips
hiking in the mountains & canyons
Out door movies in the park
You name it, we've done it
Fun, Fun fun.

It's a good old fashioned tiring time and I love it.

This year it like the year of the Nephews. My brother's sons are all coming out but their stays are staggered. The youngest was here already for 2 weeks. It was his first real trip out here. The oldest came in last week and the middle one (my twin, we have the same b-day) flies in today. we're picking him up in about 3 hours.

I like how the family pools together for the one's who can't afford to come but would like to. Had it not been for that, when my daughter was younger she wouldn't have been able to be with family members every other summer. Although the family is somewhat staggered throughout the country we felt it was important we find a way to keep the cousins close. Every other year my daughter spent the summer with family members. She's been to california, Washington state, Michigan. My father just retired from an airline. He was a great influence in teaching the kids how to fly independantly. I've learned to have great faith in the safety of it. If the child is under the age of 12 they get flight wings, escort tags and an attendant to escort them to any connecting flights and to make sure they get to their destination. And an parent or predetermined adult need to pick the up on the other end. Children ages 13-17 must have an adult pick them up at the gate and they too, must be predetermined on the paperwork and show I.d before they release the child. It's been pretty fun experience and it's given them confidence in traveling alone. Some people say that was a bold step.
I look at it this way.. My success as a parent is measured by how well I've taught my child to funtion in the world without me. Not to say that I've neglected her. I haven't by any means. But alot of my comfort and confidence in sending her off to college is knowing that incase of an emergency, or unexpected change of plans, I know she can keep her head about her, make rational decisions of adjustment.

Back to Camp Dudley!

This morning was acctually an neigborhood 5k run, walk or stroll. A couple weeks before a sign up went out for volunteering breakfast items. So after the 5k there was big neigborhood breakfast for all to enjoy.

This evening after we pick up my other nephew, we'll most likely bbq, pool party, and either movie night or drive in.
Tomorrow my brother will come down with the other nephew and pick him up. We'll do another family bbq.

It's really been fun having the nephews out this year although they came out at staggard times. When the neices came out the came out altogether and we had diva weekend with just the girls and then the last day we had the family pool party & build your own pizza contest.

I LOVE MY FAMILY. It wasn't always this way and it's taken a while to get to this point. As they get old and life's paths move us along in our different directions I hope we'll all continue to provide some sort of Camp Dudley for our kids so they have the family bonds and continue to pass them on. Family reunions are fun, but they don't always happen. If we can create an opportunity for the kids to grow up together and continue the tradition of them having the desire to contact or get together even for a weekend during the summers then I think we've created a family legacy. We are actually looking for land to build a family cabin for such occasions. If i could leave the family these experiences, this legacy to pass down from each generation, I would be well pleased

Hurray for camp Dudley!

Random Thoughts of Summer Nights In Utah

2008-07-19T21:03:00.001-07:00

Warm breeze rushing through my hair as the sun rest behind the mountains. One by one the evening lights begin their soft glow across the neigborhood. The sky changes from it daily azure blue into soft shades of amber, pink, and lavendar. The bird's song fades softly with the daylight and the crickets begin their evening choir hymns. In my back yard I sit at a table with paints, stencils and brushes. My sister at another table working on a puzzle. We're both under patio umbrellas illuminated by blue-white solar lights. The soft sounds of Boys II Men flowing with the breeze that's now turned cool. The faint smell of bbq lingers in the wind while we snack on s'mores made from the still warm grill on the other edge of the patio. Poking my head from under the patio lights into the sky and spying the northern star, and even cassiopeia shining so bright as if to call out and boast of her beauty to Juno herself.

Summers in Utah are phenominal with it's midnight hikes in the foothills and smaller mountains of the wasatch range illuminated by the full bulb of the moon, or it's moonlight picnics in the open fields off the sides of one the old back highways.
The meteor showers light the skies like lightening bugs dive-bombing the earth every 30 seconds.
Evening bonfires polka dotting the mountain sides with its glow against a chill breeze.

There are nights where we tailgate at the drive in finally settling down to catch the last half of the first feature and totally falling asleep during the 2nd feature only to wake up in the back of a friends pick up truck or suv amidst pillows, socks , shoes and blankets, chips, soda bottles and chocolate wrappers an hour after the theatre lights have gone down.

I love recieving a text on an insomniac night at 2:00 am from a bunch of your friends who can't sleep and are headed to Flying J truck stop for breakfast, strawberry short cake, or whatever else they have a taste for.

I've enjoyed the night life of New York, Chicago, New jersey, L.A, San Diego, Dallas, Vegas, Honolulu and many other places. Been to the clubs, casinos, nightlife, beaches and so on.

I'd much rather enjoy the quiet intimate nightlife with a few friends and family away from the contemporary hustle and bustle of city life. I prefer the soft sounds of the river's rush and the crickets churp, or even my own C.D playing soulful R &B from the 70's or 80 while on my back patio looking in the night sky for pegasus or Orion over hearing the degrading lyrics of Rap and Pop surrounded by smoke and drinks at the club or bar, or even looking at a tv with glossed over eyes.

I'm sure each city has it's own natural quiet beauty and entertainment. But I have yet to experience anything like the absolute peace and comfort that comes from summer nights in Utah.

* Hawaii & Idaho are a close second* ;)

Sabbatical

2008-06-30T00:49:00.000-07:00

Alot has been going on in the last week or so. You can get details on the Journal of A Black Mormon Girl" blog under my menu or "web hood" listings.

Needless to say I've been out of work for a week. I tried unseccessfully in the middle of last week to return to week but it was too soon. I'm advised by my doctors to possibly take another week off work :(

Some friends of ours rented a beach house at Bear lake last week and suggested we come and join them for the weekend. They picked up Alieshia on Monday for which I am grateful. I know she was very concerned about my being ill and didn't want to leave me. Insisted she go and not worry about me. I decided Thursday it might be a good ideah to go and get away from the things that were adding to my anxiety. So we left Friday morning for the lake house.

This house was 2.5 million dollar home. It had 3 floors, 6 bedrooms (2 on each floor) with beds 26 people EASILY.

There were 2 bathrooms on each floor. The main wall in the basement is a climbing wall. The basement also had a theatre room with one wall being the screen. There was a deck off the back side of the house and and firepit with amphetheatre style seating in the back yard. The house also came with a canoe...which is one of my absolute favorite things to do in the summer/fall besides camping. It was awesome to get away from it all, clear my mind, relax and forget about the stresses surrounding me.

Friday night we went into "Pickleville" for an outdoor BBQ and a small town production of "Totally Modern Millie" The bbq and the play was really cool for small town entertainment. I really enjoy small towns and their make shift ghetto entertainment.

During the week they enjoyed wake boarding, jet skiing, wave runners, horse riding and cave exploring. They even got a rattle snake and skinned it. The evening was bonfires at the pit and fireworks on the beach. I guess Alieshia made homemade apple pie for everyone and they said it was really good. Im so glad she had such a great time. It was also fun checking out the skeletal remains of the different animals on the beach and collecting shells. I wasnt too thrilled about the bat that greeted us on the porch when we got home from the BBQ/theatre production but even that was still a little cool.

Sometimes ya just gotta get away.

Hell Has Frozen Over!

2008-06-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

Utards, notice how it's June 11th and when you look into the mountains there is still snow? I know, I know, that hasn't really happened since 1992.
I have an explaination for that.
It appears that Hell is freezing over. I'm sure it has everything to do with my setting a wedding date.
I wrote earlier this year about a young man I knew in high school. Well he convinced me to marry him. I guess I got GOT. The date is set for sometime in September so far. We're working out logistics as he's in Michigan and I'm in Utah so we're finding ways to make things work out.

If you wanted to keep updated on how things are coming along our blog (yeah, we have a joint blog) is www.ak-collaborations.blogspot.com
I'll throw a link in my web hood menu.

Anyway, bundle up, it's going to be a frosty year.

Graduations, Celebrations and Fun.... OH MY!

2008-06-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a whirl wind couple of weeks.

Baby girl graduated from high school.

My whole family was there and it was an amazing time. The last time all my siblings from my mom and dad WITH my mom and dad were together was 11 years ago at my younger brother's wedding. My parents divorced about 25 years ago. It was almost spooky and sort of cool to all be in the same house doing the day to day routine and having the day to day conversations. It was like a warp in time of how things might possibly have been had my parents stayed together. There was no sadness in thinking that, it was actually sort of comical. I enjoyed the time together and the family dynamic as is.

The Graduation was AWESOME! I screamed for Alieshia, her friends and all the kids in my Sunday school class. So much so that I lost my voice for a week! It was worth it. The class officers did an great job with their remarks and as they called each students name to recieve their diploma, they flashed the graduates senior picture and next to it a baby picture of them

My thoughts couldn't help but go back to her first days of preschool and all the day inbetween of laughter, heartache, peer pressure, studying, writing papers and so on. There were days when she couldn't get enough of school and days when she was soo ready to be done.
I can remember telling her how horrible I was in math and how if she needed help on it, she'd have to seek out the tutors at school. Her senior year, one of her interships was a math tutor and she earned a scholarship from it.

A couple of nights before graduation was the senior awards night. There's where all the honor students and their parents are invited to an assembly and the students are recognized for their Academic Achievments. They announce all scholarships that have been offered for each student, as well as honorable societies and awards. She rec'd a 4 year tuition scholarship at one of the State Universities, and 2 intern scholarships, one with employment full or part time, which ever they choose.

When she hit Jr High I required her to play an instrument, sport and pick a language that I asked her to maintain through high school. I wanted her social interactions to be just as important and well rounded as her academic interactions. As a result she's learned team work and leadership, international communication and the joy of fine arts through music and theatre. Although she has near perfect pitch and sings alto AND suprano, she chose to play the violin. Her language is spanish... I guess she writes and reads it better than she speaks it, and her sports were basketball in Jr high and she threw the Discuss on the track team in high school.

I think she's ready for the world. She's been several places and seen several things. I put opportunties befor her that would challenge her fears and strengthen her independance and I am quite confident that she's ready.
She'll only be 2 hours away. It's time. I'm excited to see what she can add to this world. My success as a parent has much to do with how well she functions on her own. Im anxious to see her "do her thang" out there.

She has beat all the "single parent household stereotypes"

all with dealing with one hella crazy family ESPECIALLY her mama ;)

(Mom, Graduate, Uncle)

The day after graduation was the graduation party. I think we had just over 100 people at the house rotating in and out for the night. It was awesome. She chose a "fiesta" theme so we had latin music and colorful lanterns handing outside lighting up the back yard from the night sky. We made "mocktails" ( smoothies) and hand them in colored martini glasses. I believe it was 11 pm before they even started busting up the pinata. The celebration lasted until after midnight and it was a fabulous time.

Each guest recieved a bottle of "vintage Designer Labeled water" with my graduates photo on it.

Congratulations Ali-doodle-bug-boppy-pocahonri-lieshi-ancumr!

Let's do it again in about 4 more years :)

The Job

2008-05-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I complain about my job, I guess we all do. But in reality, I measure the atmosphere of where I currently work with other places of employment. Nature's Sunshine Products is unique in the way the employees treat each other... well at least in my department.

I dare say my department deals with each other almost as much out of work as we do at work. I'm with these people more than I'm with my family for the most part. They really are my second family. And we've created an atmosphere of genuinely caring for one another.
Last year one of our coworker's didnt show up for work on a Monday. When she didn't show up on Tuesday when she didn't come and no one could get ahold of her or her grown children on the phone, 2 other colleagues when to her house. Long story short she was very ill and was in the hospital for about 3 days after we found her. Her blood pressure levels had dropped to a point where she was unable to wake herself up. She was about 24 hours from passing away when we found her.
When she was in the hospital we went to her home, did he laundry for her, cleaned her home, took care of her pets, stocked her fridge. Under the circimstances...we had fun doing all of it for her. It brought us closer as friends and collegues. Some of us have gone to the movies, dinner, taken cooking classes together, bailed off for the weekend and so on. It really does make the work atmosphere more bearable AND I gives us each security in knowing we're partner on the job and look out for each other. I've never had that kind of working atmosphere.

I can remember times when we'd be off the clock and still at work chillin 30 minutes after we should have gone home. Such are the calibre of people I work with.

Other departments we enjoy as well and even partner with in company competitions and it makes it a more enjoyable atmosphere. We've gone to each others weddings, Graduation of kids from high school, shared the birth of children and grand children and several other things that secures those ties that bind.

These things make this week even more sorrowful. One of your colleagues went to preparing for his 18 year old son to Graduate high school in 2 weeks to laying him to rest on Tuesday. The basic details: His son was in a car accident due to having a seizure. was taken into the hospital to find out the cause of the seizure. A brain tumor was found and removed, brain hemmoraging, stroke, coma, and then the family pulled the plug that kept him alive after the coma. All of this happened from Friday-Tuesday. That's only a 5 day span. How is it your world can be totally normal one day and so drastically changed the next?
Although most of us in my department couldn't go to the funeral, because the world doesn't stop when people leave it, those of us who were able to go were so deeply touched and relayed all the details of the service to the department. When one of us rejoices, WE ALL REJOICE! when one of us has sorrow WE SHARE THAT SORROW.
To make matters more difficult We are in the middle of one of our conventions this week as well. So we have about 150 distributors in town touring the offices and manufacturing centers. We've been playing tour guides and hosting banquets and formal dinners and socializing at dances and such while fielding questions about the company, mixed in with questions about the the colleague who lost a family member.
About a year and a half ago we lost 2 colleagues within a few days of each other. It was a devistating blow to the company more so because we lost "family members" who some of us hand known for 10-25 years. There was an earie feeling walking the halls, as we came in we would take a head count of who was at work that day and then verify who had time off and panick if someone called in sick. After about a month things got back to normal but it was still hard on us a whole.

I've worked in places where you just go in, do your job, and leave, without any real ties to those around you. I'd much rather work in an atmosphere where I know close ties and emotions run deep.
People in my department have given rides for months when there's been car trouble,
Made meals when others were ill
Gone shopping with and for each other
taken another to 2nd jobs
Car maintenance
home maintenance
gone to sporting events
taken and picked up other kids from school
taken lunch to the hospital when a loved one was in surgery all day
visited the hospital
Forever sending flowers for various reasons
baking birthday cakes
grabbing lunch or breakfast just because
lending money when times were hard
....and the list goes on and on.

I may complain some about my job...
... but I complain about my family too...
And most of the time, this place called work
really is just like home.

It's THAT time again........!!!!

2008-04-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is a Reprint from about this time last year! Since it's THAT TIME AGAIN... it's worth a repost cuz on Friday night..... IT IS ON! ;)

"Some of us have been talking about going to the Midnight drag races for sometime. Last night was the night! We started the night at the Flying J on 2100 for Steaks. The service was bad. The waitress was worse. But the steak when it game was good eatin. Afterwards we ventured west to Rocky Mountain Raceway, Home of the Discount Tire Midnight Drag Races! We traveled through the maze to get to the parking lot and found a space not too far away from the entrance. The ticket lines were long... and the people in those lines were Redneckishly Ghetto Fabulous! For 7$ you could do all the people watching and drag race watching you wanted. One of the things I liked best was the Local R&B/Rap Station was not only broadcasting live, they had a DJ set up and spinnin in a show room garage. You could dance til your heart's content. My friends and I waited in line to purchase our tickets. While in Line we came across a Ghetto Fabulously Redneckish sign that said: Any children under the age of 8 not accompaniedby and adult will be evicted from the park at 1:00 am.

I loved it! You gotta love an establishment that will make a six year old hanging out by himself jump on his bigwheel and peddle home at one in the morning if he's not with Mamma or Daddy. On the same board a 2nd sign read: Due to West Vally City Curfew ordinance anyone under the age of 15 must be accomanied by an Adult. Does that not negate the first sign? I'm telling you, the night was full of it's Redneckishly Ghetto Fabulous self. While standing in line for our tickets, I watched a family smooze their way into the stadium by paying off the security guard with a $20 bill. Let's think about this. It's $7 a person to get in. This was a family of 3. It cost them $21 to get tickets, then another $20 to get in. Just so they didn't have to wait in a 5 minute line. 5 minutes. it was actually 3 minutes because it was going so quickly. Do they realize they could have taken that $20 and added a 5$ bill to it and drag raced their own car all night long? We entered the stadium and the night was perfect for a new adventure: The smell of burnt tire rubber and diesel in the air. A plethora of teenage kids scantilly dressed and hanging off each other. There were hairless grampies and legless grannies in wheel chairs. There were babies and babies daddies and babies mama's and even Baby Mama Drama! The Latino's and Asian and African- Americans and Polynesians and Caucasian were all there, and all getting along! It was a ghetto fabulously redneckish melting pot of diversity all coming together for the same cause: TO GET OUR DRAG RACE ON!

We made our way though the stadium to our seats. The air was thick with.....the sounds of engines revving up and tires squealing and alla that. The racing vehicles....were the most eclectic assortment of match box cars and trucks any small boy would be proud of.We watched Chargers and Mustangs and Coupes. OH MY! There were Dodge Rams and F250's and Diesels dragging. Sentra's and Civics and Corolla's. Bullet Bikes and Old school Roadsters. There was no vehicle too proud to drag. I must say my favorite.... The VW Rabbit and the GM Pacer! I got a tear in my eye with pride for my country when these two cars stepped up to the mark to claim their place in drag race history at the Rocky Mountain Raceway Discount Tires Midnight Drag Races! Is this not what American is all about? Any car any where has the opportunity for success at RMR Discount Tire Midnight Drag Races.There is no Vehicle too big or too small, to old school or new, too rusted or polished, to loud or quiet to Drag race at the "RMRDTMDR."

It was a night I will not soon forget. So if your on the Wasatch Front and find yourself sitting around on a Friday on some summer night just remember, The Rocky Mountain Raceway Discount Tire Midnight Drag Races start at 11pm. (they go til about 2am.) Make sure your 8 year old is accompanied by an adult or he will get kicked out at 1:00 am. Head on out 2100s west and follow the signs for a Redneckishly Ghetto Fabulous night out! You'll LOVE IT! See you there :)"

Sooooooooooooooo Guess where I'll be Friday night?

PuZzLeS hAvE mE pUzZlEd

2008-04-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Around January everything felt so up in the air. Just about every aspect of life was coming together and then something happened the end of January that just blew into my world like a tornado. I saw Dorothy, the wicked witch, even poor little toto.

Not it's the end of April and the peices of this puzzled called my life have dropped from the air and landed. I'm gathering those peices and putting them back together.

As I'm putting together the items that are fitting into place I'm noticing something strange....

The peices that have landed are NOT the same peices that were up in the air in the first place.

There are some faint remnants of the old peices but it's a whole new puzzle I'm putting together.

But the scenic view on this puzzle... totally better than what I threw in the air.

( http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/ )

check back on my puzzle building skillz :)

I Had A Transplant!

2008-04-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

It's true I had a transplant. No, not and implant although I am looking at having a reduction ;)
After 18 years I've left the "UC" (Utah County- Provo to be exact).
People in Utah call Provo "Happy Valley."
Where I come from happy valley is home of JoPa and the Nittany Lions! I Love JoPa! But that's a whole nother story.

Anyway, I guess they call it happy valley because that supposed to be the place in Utah where the strict goody-goody Mormons live as opposed to other part of Utah where anything goes as long as they sit in church on Sunday or at least on special occasion. ( Simmer down, I'm just kidding). There is a HUGE division in this state and the line is right off the point of the Mountain: the Salt Lake County and Utah County lines. It's also where the state is divided as to who Votes for UofU or BYU during football and basketball season. The "Holy War" rivalry doesn't just stop at college sports I'm afraid. There is a real HATE relationship going on much like the Hatfield's and McCoys or I should say for Montague and Capulet's for those snooty educated Utahns.

There's an automatic stereo type that comes with living in the U.C (Utah county) And the U.C retaliates with it's on stereotype of living in S.L (Salt Lake county).

Me? I've lived both places. I'm a transplant from the Midwest and to tell ya the truth... coming from outside of the state it's pretty much all the same to me "YEW TAW!" So it makes me laugh when I see this rivalry back in forth outside of college sports in which the BYU fans state "You can't spell "suck" without "U". And the UofU fans state "Y?"
It's pretty entertaining to watch.

I moved to a nice little neighborhood in South Jordan. I LOVE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!

What I like best about it: It's an old school neighborhood. When I say old school, let me describe to you a scene from a couple Saturdays ago: It was about 70 degrees. My daughter and I were in the front yard planting my favorite flowers (callla Lillies). Everyone on my street waves! They don't need to know you, they just wave, cuz it's the polite thing to do. I look down the street and people are out riding bikes and scooters and skateboards. The park is full of kids playing soccer and other games. I took a walk down the street and came across a cauldesac where a group of small kids were playing ball in the middle of the street. I remember playing ball in the middle of the street! And there was a homemade ramp for jumping bikes, skateboards and roller blades and remote control cars. I remembered a few of my own homemade ramps as well. Suddenly a little 2 year old darts outta the house stark nekkid and into the yard doing his "free at last" dance squealing and running in circles! Late that evening groups of women were taking walks, laughing and enjoying each other's company while fathers were loaded up on bikes with a couple of kids in tow behind him.

I felt like I had stepped back about 30 years before game boys, PS2's, x boxes and cell phones. We were more people oriented and less gadgetly inclined. Back when you needed to talk to a neighbor, you took a little walk and knocked on their door. Had some people to people contact and got a little exercise as well. I LOVE IT!

I love that I live in a people oriented neighborhood. Although our gadgets make life easier to live and more convenient, I have a great disliking for how physically and socially lazy they make us. I think where people would rather deal with one another thru machinery than human touch, there is a problem. I think when people would rather read texts than hear a voice, there's a problem. I think when people would rather sit quietly next to each other and watch a movie or stare at some game with hand controls, then spend time with each other engaging in conversation or attentive communication, there's a problem. I'm not saying these things shouldn't and can't be done. I just think it shouldn't be the normal routine.

God gave us great minds and creativity for these thing to be invented. I don't think they're evil, or of the devil. I do think when we spend more time with them than people it becomes a strain.
I have seen families use these tools in moderation and have the greatest joy from them and each other. I have also seen these tools break up families and be the major source of contention. There should be, as in all things, a balance.

I love my neighborhood, but in a way I feel bad for my daughter, now 18 preparing for college. When she was younger, she had basketballs, roller blades, hockey sticks, tennis rackets, bikes and so forth. However to most of her friends, these items were foreign. So when she did go and play with them, it was with the computer and video games. Ultimately she would be home an hour or so later bored. She may as well come home and watch TV since that's pretty much what was going on anyway. I like the fact she would lose herself in reading books when there was no one to play with. I became the one to go out and play with her and I'm so grateful for those times. She kept me active and more healthy than I could have been. Now we've moved to the neighborhood I wished she could have been in as a child.

Moving to this neighborhood has made me take a look at myself and my old school ways. I miss them. I miss receiving real mail from those who took the time to sit down, write out their thoughts put it in an envelope and put a stamp on it. Sure email is fun. Texting is fun. But there's nothing like getting a letter in the mail or hearing the joy, concern, anger, love and friendship in the voice of someone you love.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna like this neighborhood and am reinstating some of those old ways of communication. So I AM having a transplant. I'm reinstating the personal touch, the human touch back into my communications with friends and family. It means more... at least to me!

A Hot Toddy and a Quad!

2008-02-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

About 7 years ago I ran with a really tight group of people I met from and LDS Online group.
We rolled really tight. There were probably about 15 of us who hung out on a daily basis after work and upto about 10 more who would come in on weekends and join us. We did everything from sponsoring an at risk teen for Christmas to road tripping 4 hours to have dinner with someone who was depressed and feeling alone. Although I'm not in contact with most of them, I will always love them, they hold a special place on my heart.
The other day I was online and a familiar buddy name flashed acrossed my I/M. I couldn't believe my eyes! So I sent a quick note:

"Is this my Hot Toddy from Green River?"
Oh my goodness it was! I hadn't heard from him in about 7 years! Dang I had a crush on that boy.
He lost a bet to me and I got to nick name him "HOT TODDY!"
Todd was a single parent of a beautiful daughter. I have never seen a father love or care for any child as much as he did for his daughter. It was amazing to witness the love her had for her. Toddy was going through a hard time, divorce, job changes, financial thing, depression and all that goes along with it. I could see he was struggling and wanted him to know he had a friend by his side.
Eventually I heard from him less and less and then not at all. Until a few days ago.

I couldn't believe it was him. I asked him how he was doing and he sounded so good and was telling me how great his life has been. It was good to hear. I was really worried about him when we were last in touch.

About 5 minutes into our conversation he says:
"I have to tell you something I don't think you ever knew"

With the recent event that have been swirling around my life this month and last month, I wasn't sure I was ready for ANYTHING that had to begin with... "I have to tell you something."

I sat silently and braced myself in my seat, waiting.

he typed: "You know, you saved my life?"

***SHOCKED***

I typed back "huh? How in the world did I do that?"
He proceeds to tell me how depressed he was back then. Ready to end it all. A struggle to live each day.

I knew he was depressed, I didn't realized he was suicidal.

On day he goes to an outdoor show. I didn't like the idea of a depressed man going to where there a possibility of guns and bows and any other manor of outdoor "toys" that could cause some self infliction. Anyway he goes to this out door show. What grabbed his interest was a 4-wheeler or 2. I encouraged him to buy. He didn't think he should.
"toddy, buy the quad!"
"No, it's too much money."
" You're worth it! You should get it, you like it! Buy the quad"
"Na, it's a frivolous spend, no rhym or reason or justification for it"

*sheesh, MEN!*

I wasn't sure why I felt so strongly that he NEEDED that 4 wheeler. But I was pretty determined to make sure he bought them.

"can you afford it?"
he says "Yeah."
"Do you love 4 wheeling?"
he said "yeah."
I said "Toddy, by the quad."
" just can't" he says. "I'd feel guilty about spending that much money"
*arg!!!!!!! Guys, sometimes it's OK to buy something JUST BECAUSE! ....SOMETIMES!*

"Todd, you have been struggling to hard this passed year. you NEED to find something to bring you joy, to get your mind off of things, to help you remember that life can be full of fun and joy. BUY THE QUAD, BOY!"

He never would have bought it had I not talked him into it. I kind of remember the desperation I felt in him having to find it, but I could never understand why I felt he HAD to have it.

TODDY bought the quad! It was after that time he eventually faded away.
He fills me in on what happened over the years:
it gave him something to focus on besides the hell in his life. he met a whole new set of friends who changed his world for the better. Changed his life. Now he's married to a wonderful woman who owns 2 salon's has a step son and his beautiful daughter is doing well in school, a great student. He is soo happy. I'm so happy for him.

You never know how far reaching the effects of your friendship may go. For me it was about more than A quad. For me it was about him finding something that brings him joy. Something he could have a reason to wake up just one more day. Salvation can come in many forms but there really is only one source of it. This is a confirmation to me that the Lord knows us well and knows how to reach us and is willing to go where needed to do so.
Even if it's on a 4-wheeler!

Twenty-Some Years Later....

2008-02-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

If I had the chance I would go back in time to about 23 years ago to Battle Creek, Michigan. I would be a senior in high school, Co-captain of the girls Softball team and probably working on some project for art class. During lunch time there was ALWAYS something going on. We had open campus so we could leave the school grounds for lunch. My freshman and sophomore years I was always off campus but my Senior year I would hang out in the court yard and listen to the Rap battles or watch the break dancing competitions

Alot of the time I would spend kickin it with my friends walking the halls.

On those days when we would walke the halls I would spend it looking for a guy named Adonis. We had an interesting sort of friendship. From what I remember, he was always saying "girl, u crazy!" or calling me insane. We were ALWAYS laughing! 'donis use to roll mad and deep with his boy, Chris. If you found one, you found the other. Me and my sister used to say... " when they get married they're wives aren't going to put up with 2 husbands cuz them two boys are connected." There were very few times you would see one without the other.

I had a "thing" for 'Donis since the tenth grade. I thought he had a thing for me too, but I was never REALLY sure. Ok maybe I was sure a couple of times but they really were fleeting moments of surety. He always kept me guessing. Anyway there was always "that tension" between us but it was never acted on. Maybe that's what kept things fun. There were times when he Chris and I would hang out and be rollin deep. Then there were times when I wouldnt see him for months. Such is the life of high school I guess.

Senior year became really weird. It was like one day we sort of disconnected. He would probably tell you differently but I felt disconnected. I'd see him and there would maybe be some quick eye contact but not much else.

I would love to have played out one of my favorite day dreams: See him walking toward me down the empty hallway: with just me and him, grab his hand and pull him into one of the broom closet and kiss him until his legs went weak. And then just leave him in their wondering "what just happened" as I skipped off to my next class. Maybe it's a good thing I never found him in the hall by himself or at lunch time.

There were a couple of times I saw him laughing and chillin with the pretty girls in the hall. I did NOT belong to that crowd, I was pretty rough and rough around the edges. Girl Jock. I put my efforts into my softball stats and art in my senior year and Adonis sort of disappeared. He took Chris with him, cuz, you know, they were always together.

Sometime after high school when I did see him he was dating someone. He did not look happy at all. He wasn't laughing and I rarely saw him without a smile or laugh. It was always kind of sad to see him that way. After that time I left the state to go to college in Rexburg, Idaho. (yeah, long story.) But came home that summer.

The summers in BC were pretty fun to me. The Worlds Longest Breakfast table would happen during the summer time and Also the International Hot air Balloon fest, with it's various fairs and carnivals. I can remember being on a chase team and following the hot air balloons until they landed and also serving at the breakfast table and performing during the international festivals.

One day I went to one of the carnivals with some friends.

I noticed a familiar stature a little way off in the distance.

He stood tall and strong
Sexy
Stoic
Eyes: distant.
Stance: defensive
He wore a black Kangol, black muscle shirt with arms chocolate brown and RIPPED.

I made my way over to him. It had been a couple years since I'd seen him and I wanted them chocolate arms around me. I don't recall the converstaion. But I recall the feeling around the conversation. And I didn't recognize the stranger in front of me.

So much for broom closet kisses and turtledoves flying over head in heart shaped patterns.

That was the last time I layed eyes on that boy. I went back to college in the fall. After my 2nd year of college I lived in NJ. I came back home to Michigan for about 7 months and might have seen him once but didn't make an effort to acknowledge it. This time when I left Battle Creek, I never went back. That was about 23 years ago I've been back to hang with the family in Albion, Jackson, Detroit and Saginaw. But never really went back to Battle Creek.

Over the years I have thought about 'Donis. I always remembered that laugh of his quickly followed by the memory of that hard man at the carnival who seemed mad at the world and void of feeling. Always sort of bittersweet in wondering what happened and "what would have happened if...."

*sigh*

A few days ago my friend Brooklyn hooked me up to a website called Facebook. It's like internet crack or something, totally addicting. On this website you can have a page and find all your friends from the years and family members and play games with them and blah blah blah. I was setting up my page and decided to do the High School friend search. I put in my high school and the year of graduation. Out of my Graduating class of over 600 people only 3 had profiles on this web site. Guess who one of them was? Yeah, the boy. Flashes of broom closet kisses ran through my mind and I just sort of smiled and then continued to set up my page. I didn't feel the need to really contact him. The next day the voices thundering in my head kept chanting
"Adonis! Adonis! Adonis!"
They wouldn't shut up or go away. So I clicked on his profile and sent a little note. Not expecting much in return.
It turns out I guess he's been mad at me for 20 years for leaving.
GEEZE WHO KNEW! (Apparently Chris new. They're still boyz after all this time. I think that's pretty cool)
I guess they wanted to know where the heck I went.
"we thought you went to Uganda or Botswana to be a missionary swingin on vines naked in the jungle with the natives"
Well being A Mormon I can see where he got the Missionary part. And Maybe he got Utah and Uganda mixed up but Utah is where I've been for 18 of those years.
" The SMILE :)"

Anyway here it is Twenty-some years later and guess who I been chillin with for about the last week? Yeah, the boy. The best part is he has his laugh back. I love it! And I hope it never goes away.

Now where the heck is Chris?

Ps: In all fairness, this is HIS side of the story :) http://lefthandedinmyrightmind.blogspot.com/2008/02/second-time-around.html

Moments Of Truth.

2008-02-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I was faced with a moment of truth. If we're living right we'll have several of them. They let you and those around you know who you really are.
I had an error in judgement about an issue and soon came to regret it. When I approached my friend about it in broad generalities, my friend pretty much asked me about it point blank. I could have lied and made up a justified excuse letting myself off the hook and saving face. I wanted to .I thought about it. I tried to formulate the words of my false excuse but they just wouldn't come. I struggled to lie and I struggled to tell the truth. I sat dangling on that line for quite a few moments weighing the options. Since I was stuggling with both I could have easily told the lie and taken the truth to my grave. No one would be the wiser. No one would think less of me. There would be no knowledge or reason for betrayal or lack of trust. Right? But could I live with such deception? Could I look that person in the eye's ever again? Would I ever be at peace with such a thing between us? I doubted the bonds of our friendship and if it could withstand the truth. Was I loved enough to be able to be trusted again? Would this be something we could get over? Did I love and respect my friend & myself enough to be honest? No one would have to know the situation EVER. My pride was on the line. My integrity was on the line. I was afraid.
**SIGH**
For the last year I've been trying to train myself to erase fear with faith. I have a little mantra I do when the word "fear"comes to mind:
"You cannot have faith if you fear, they cannot coexist you must choose which is to survive."
This thing was making me physically ill. I hadn't eaten or slept for 2 days. Looking at myself in the mirror was not an option, I just couldn't do it. THIS WAS A MESS!

**Augh**

Before I could stop myself I found the shameful truth spilling out of me. Although it appeared to be handled well I'm sure there was anger and frustration. I'm quite sure there was disappointment. It felt so good to confess and so so bad.
It was indeed a moment of truth. We all have them. And if we aren't having them, then we're not being honest with ourselves or with those around us.

Later this week another scenario happened and the tables were turned. For some time (and I'm talking a couple of years) I've been aware of some discretions plagueing a friend of mine. They're clueless as to my knowledge of them. Some discussion was held and soon we were at the infamous moment of truth. My thoughts went back to my moment of truth earlier this week and I battled the war out in my mind all over gain :

"No one would be the wiser. No one would think less of me. There would be no knowledge or reason for betrayal or lack of trust. Right? But could I live with such deception? Could I look that person in their eye's ever again? Would I ever be at peace with such a thing between us? I doubted the bond of the friendship. Was I loved enough to be able to be trusted again? Would this be something we could get over? Did I love and respect my friend & myself enough to be honest?"

I KNOW what they were going through. I could feel the struggle and wanted them to trust and know that the friendship, at least in my eyes, could survive this or any other moment of truth.

Sad to say the moment of truth came and went. It's disappointing and rather sad. Was there no trust? Was fear chosen above faith in me and the friendship? I felt more like a stranger to my friend and that's disheartening. Some moments of truth, you never get back, they're just gone. Their impact remains. They leave impressions on the mind and in the heart. With time they may disapppear. When they do which will they take with them: pride or integrity?

What Kind Of Gone Are We talking Here?

2008-02-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

I have a new favorite song.
Already this year has been filled with coming and going and leaving behind. That's not particularly a bad thing but it sho ain't easy. My sister and I were discussing some things last week about getting rid of the wrong kind of people in your life. I would say the last 3 years were tough for me because I had to let go of some people i cared for dearly. They were no longer conducive to my way of life and how I wanted to raise my family.

There were times I wavered on friendship thinking I was strong enough to keep them around, only to find myself back into old patterns and ways that I was better off without. Essentially coming to know my strengths and weaknesses I realized that there were some people I just couldn't have anymore, regardless of what my heart wanted. They needed to go. They needed to go because they didn't respect my decisions on how I was deciding to live and would be very persuasive in leading me away from my goals. I missed them, but who I gained has filled and over filled any holes they may have left in my heart. I do not regret what I left behind, what I gained has been much more 10 fold.

K, so my sister forgets more songs than I know. She know songs from Ludacris to Johnny Cash and everything in between. A few years ago she and i and another friend went on a cruise. We met many other people we befriended on this cruise and we became an "entourage" of sorts. Each night we ended up in the Piano bar with a Man named Marty Playing Piano. HE WAS AMAZING! If you could invision the song... "the piano man" by Billy Joel, it was just like that. Marty labled our little entourages as "THE GIRLZ" And we basically ended being his back up singers for the weekend. So when he got request people would actually request for "the girls" to sing. It was Great fun! Anyway someone requested "burning ring of fired" by Johnny Cash. I'd never heard it. You know, being a black woman I just didn't swing towards country music unless it crossed over to the pop charts. Anyway, someone request Burning Ring of Fire, so I'm just sitting there clapping along with the rest of the people on the bar and when it comes to the rousing course, I notice my sister just singing along....... like she wrote the darn song. I look over at one friend who loves country and she is all into it as well. I look at our other friends, who happen to be black as well and they are Jacked jawed and bug-eyed with me. Buffie looks at me and say..... "oh my goodness..... ain't no black chick from Detroit got no biznass knowing THAT SONG!" I fell out laughin it was HILARIOUS!

Ok anyway back to the point. My sister and I are talking about people going and coming and what not. As I'm wondering if it would just be easier if a neon sign just showed up on people's forehead with the word "GONE" on it so we would know if they should be in or out of our lives
this song comes on and she telling me... "you HAVE to hear this song..."

Apparently according to the song.... Gone doesn't mean gone anymore. Here's the Chorus:

"Well theres gone for good and theres good and gone
and theres gone with the long before it
I wish she'd been just a little more clear
well theres gone for the day and gone for the night
and gone for the rest of your dogone life
is it whiskey night or just a couple beers
I mean what kind of gone are we talkin bout here..."

Ain't that the truth? Now me and a couple other friends have been talking about "gone" and "leaving" songs and this is just one of many. This absolutely is my favorite! This song caused me to put a country radio station on my car stereo! I'm sure there are probably other country songs worthy of having me program a country station in my car but this was the one that converted me.
So now, when I think of me leaving, or someone else going or even just going to the store I think of this song. Gone IS complicated. What does it actually mean? It's not like saying... "hit the road jack..." things were so simple back in the day, when a person said they were leaving.... they really left. Never came back. THEY KEPT THEIR WORD and we believed them. lol.
These days... leaving means.... "until I miss you then I'll be back until I remember why I left then I'm gone again..."
What kind of gone ARE we talkin here....

Does anyone out there have a favorite Gone or Leaving song?

GET CLOSER

2008-01-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

"There's a time
I when I would come runnin'.
I'd drop everything
for the touch of your hand in mine.

You were blind
and now you regret it, '
cause I can't forget it.
It's locked in my mind.

And I can't go on livin' day to day wondering if we'll be here tomorrow.
People change and you're changin'. And I've given you my all, there's no more to borrow.."

GET CLOSER.

What World IS This????

2008-01-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

I'd like to know what world did I step into and can I stay for a while????
That last month has been absolutely incredible. It started with the Christmas Holidays filled with so much peace and happiness, at least for me and the majority of my friends. And it's gained even more momentum! And if I had my way, the momentum would not stop there it would increase into one big gigantic snowball and consume everyone I love along the way! Ummm, but not in some psycho kind of way.
As mentioned before my mother called me Monday morning to let me know my Aunt Anna passed away and that my grandmother was probably not too far behind. (Grandma and Anna are Sister's) It reminded me of a few years ago when I had 9 friends and family members pass away within a 12 month span. 6 of them within 60 days and 4 of them within 3 weeks. Although we can't control when people leave us in this life, you hope for the best and that things like this will be at a minimum.
Although I was a little down from the family news I decided to react differently than to slip into a small state of depression and grieving and so on. There's a typical attitude and pattern I have when death confronts me and quite frankly I'm sick of it. I new healthy outlook for death and even LIFE if what was in order. I was quickly forgetting the feelings and goals we made at Christmas.

Tuesday evening I began to get funny little phone calls from my sister. It was the last 30 minutes of my working day and I don't typically answer my cell. I answered and she sort of in a demanding tone asked a me question I wouldn't typically give over the phone nor would i particularly give to anyone else. But she's my older sister, so it was no big deal. A few minutes later she called me back. I couldn't get to the phone but I called her back. She asked for my zip code. I gave it and was asking her what's going on when she said...
"gotta go..." and hung up.
A few minutes later she called me again as I'm walking out of my building for work...
" Hey, what's your SSN?"
And me, being curious give it to her.
"what are you doing?" I demanded!
" Can't talk Im BUSY!" she said... "
I could hear our other sister in the back ground saying....
"girl, just stop trippin and let us do what we're doing..."
And then the line went dead. I jumped in my car and headed home. I decided to call back.... The phone rang.
" Hey what's up?" said my sister.
I was starting to get annoyed...
"Ok, you call me for my ssn, zip code, street address, verify my birth year.... WHAT IS GOING ON?" I demanded.
To which she said. "I can't talk right now..." and hung up again.
"SHE GOT SOME NERVE!" I said to myself.
By this time I'm at home trying not to fume. "ok FINE WHATEVER!" I said to myself and sat in the middle of my living room floor pouting.
I had walked in, took off my coat, kicked off my shoes and just sat in the middle of the floor quietly: No tv. No Radio. No Noise and a small side lamp on. I was waiting. For what, I'm not sure. I let my mind drift off to a friend and the Chaos around his life right now. I'm concerned for him and focusing on others helps my own issues seem lessened. I guess it could be worse, I said to myself. I just sat and listened... To my heart... the voices in my head assuring me... the clock tick.... And then my phone rang.
It was HER again.
Hmmmmm.
"Hello!" I said.
" I need you to write down a number for me...." She said.
"mmmmm hmmmmm.... " I mumbled... "what is it."
She gave me the number. It was actually familiar.
"what are you up to??" I asked... curiously.
"Well I need you to call the number tomorrow after 9 am and tell them you want the title sent to you in less than 30 days." She said.
"WHAT?? What does that even mean" I said
"Just do it after 9am tomorrow" she said giggling.
"Will they know what that means even if I don't? I asked.

She laughed and said... "yeah, they'll know. And if you think about it you'll figure it out..."
And I said.... "figure what out? What are you talkin about ?"
She asked me if I was driving still and I told her I was sitting on the floor... and then I hard my other sister saying
"I can't wait, give me the phone..." And then she jumped on the line and said..

"girl, call that number tomorrow and tell them you want them to send the title to your car as soon as possible... cuz it's not their title anymore..."

"who's car am I driving?" I shrieked in a high pitch voice.... all i need is to be getting in a wreck with someone Else's car... I was thinking...

"Cuz I don't get the title for another year and half....." I was saying...

"Girl, as of about 7 minutes ago It's YOUR CAR! It is now paid off!" I couldn't believe it!

"WHAT??? HOW? WHEN? WHY? WHO?" I was stammering.....

"Girl, we have been trying to get this done for you for the last 2-3 weeks. Have you noticed you haven't had a bill for 2 months? Your daughter had to catch the mail and steal it and give me the info of it and...." My mind was screaming. I couldn't hear a thing she said after that because my mind was screaming.....I couldn't breath..... WOW....... just WOW!

4,200. worth of dept... Obliterated. Gone!. No more. WOW!

She would have to fill me in on the details later because I could not comprehend or process what was going on. I hung up and found myself in the middle of my living room floor sobbing and shaking. I look up and gave a HUGE shout out the Man Upstairs. That feeling, that feeling we held around Christmas was back! I call my mom. Explained to her what just happened.
"as much as you take care of everyone else WHY are you so surprised?" I wasn't sure why. My family just sort of rolls that way.... doing thing kind of thing for those we care about. I think it's ingrained in our DNA. My sister said.... "shoot, I'm just having me some fun doin all this." I know exactly what she means. It's why I do it as well.... to see the joy in others. And THEN she let me in on ANOTHER surprise she's got brewing. I'm Soo excited to pull this one off! Keep the ball rollin, right?!

Can someone please tell me... "WHAT WORLD IS THIS????"

This year is a good year to be in my care Cuz I'm keepin the ball rolling and inviting people to step into my world! Start a ball rolling where you are and make this the year of the Ball.

A' Kin to Some Psycho's?

2008-01-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine ask me the other day
"are you kinfolk to some psychics?"
I thought to myself,
"well I'm akin to some Psycho's "

I took me a minute to realize what she was asking. She wanted to know if I had psychics in my family because she seen what she believes is "Psychic" behavior coming from me.
"every since I known you know things that are going to happen before they happen or you know think about people that no body else really knows."

I had to laugh. It's actually true. I shared with her some experiences from my life that might be taken as mystical and strange. But to me and my family it's just normal. I wonder if it's hereditary? I usually don't share these things as most people would consider them Coincidences and they cheapen what I believe to be gifts.
My mother called me this morning. I could tell something was up when in her voice mail she said to have a nice day, like I was a valued customer. My first thinking was...
"uh oh....she's in protecting her young mode."
I believe she reserves this for me when she knows there's going to be something hard on me and possibly cause me to freak out but I need to work through it.

My first instinct was to ignore the voice message and call her back later this evening. But since I was running early for work I decided to call her back. The usual happened and she did some small talk about the weather and the weekend and stuff. And then she told me she was talking to my Aunt. I asked her which Aunt. She meant her sister. My Aunt and my cousin went over to my Grandma's house yesterday to bathe her. Grandma's health has been declining and is getting worse. Grandma told my aunt and cousin last night

" My mama and daddy are coming to get me tonight."

Grandma's parents passed away decades ago. She also refers to a man who keeps bothering her and won't go away.
"that man keeps bothering me..."
We believe the man she's referring to is my Papa who passed away in the early 70's. Last time I saw grandma I remember how she kept looking at me and calling by my mama's name one minute and not knowing who I was the next. She told us stories about how she and papa met and got married. They were HILARIOUS! She would say that man wouldn't leave me alone, he followed me, so I had to marry him. My mother, understanding her condition and knowing her mind isn't quite as sharp as it used to be simply laughed and enjoyed the stories with us. I think the thing that troubled me the most was when she smiled and said, I don't know who you are, girl, but because he let you in, I knew it was ok for you to be here. ("he" being my uncle) It was hard to see her that way.
Not being close to where she is or able to see her often it's always difficult to hear of her declining health.

This morning my mother was calling to tell me that Aunt Anna Passed away. She was 92 years old. She looks JUST like my Grandma. She should, she's my Grandma's Sister. Do you think it is by coincidence that Yesterday my grandma said her mama and daddy were coming to get her, and her sister passed away the very same night? I don't think so. This stuff happens too often for me to believe it's just coincidence. So when grandma also mentions how "that man just keep bothering her" I'm pretty sure she's talking about my Grandfather as well. It's not uncommon for myself or even my mother to have appearances of families of friends come to us through dreams or thoughts and impressions. I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone anyway so it's really no big deal.
One night my papa came to my mother in a dream (papa was my mother's father.) He was in the suite he was buried in. In his hand lay a small casket. He called her by name and told her to open it. My mother didn't open it. He asked her again to open it and again she refused. When Papa asked her why she wouldn't open it, she said "I think i'll see you lying in it. I want to remember you like this, not lying in there." We were awakened the next morning by a phone call very early. It was the husband of my mother's best friend at the time. He had just found her on the kitchen floor, she died of a heart attack somewhere in the early morning.

One of my experiences: I was in college and it was a couple weeks, if that, just after the holidays. My roomates and I were playing some sort of game and the phone rang. I jumped up and answered the phone and it was my mom. I heard her voice she simply called my name. Before she could say anything more I said to her "Grandmother died." She responded "Oh, you've talked to your father and he's told you." I replied, "no, She just told me herself." It was true, my Grandmother had passed away. There have been times when I've heard her voice, felt her hug and smelled her purfume, especially in times when I've been alone and afraid. There have been multiple occassions in my life with these experiences and some of them have passed on to my daughter. Are we psychic? Not by any stretch of the imagination. I believe everyone has the opportunity to have these experiences. I just feel that some are more in tune to the next life than others. I believe it's a learned thing and I also believe it's a gift. We all have certain gifts that those around us may not have. I think this is just one of those.

When my mother told me my aunt passed away last night the first thing that came to my mind was "this is great, now I'll get to know her even better than when she was alive." I suprized myself in thinking that, because I wasn't sure what that meant. I'm still not sure what it means.
My mother also suggest I be prepared to hear from Papa. She thinks, as i do, that Papa is trying to get Grandma's attention. But she never really listened to him when he was alive. I guess some things never change :). Mom said I'm the one most likely to get any messages. We believe he's going to be the one to come and get Grandma since they've been apart over 30 years. I guess since she saw her parents coming, it won't be too long befor she recognizes "that man messing with her" is her husband coming to bring her home. Shes' my last surviving Grandparent. I'm nos sure if I'll be able to get back to see her before she leaves but I've been filling my mind lately of as many memories as I can of all my Grandparents. My Grandfather, my Father's dad just passed away early Autumn, about 3 months ago. In some ways you rejoice because their suffering is complete. In other ways you cry because all you have left is memories of them.
I'm positive they would have us remember them with laughter and love. It would sadden them for us to focus on their absence instead of creating ways to keep them near. I'm very impressed with a familywhere the father passed away. It is a mother with 2 small children. This family speak of Dad as if he'll be home with them tomorrow or later to night around dinner time. It's amazing to me.
A conversation would be something to the effect of
"my dad is going to love the model air plane I'm going to make. That's one of his favorite things it to build and fly them. So when I'm finished I'm going to go fly it for him!"

Some may think, "that poor kid doesn't know that daddy is not around." ON THE CONTRARY... that kid understands that even though he cannot see daddy, daddy is STILL around. And there are times when he can make daddy proud or disappoint daddy as if he could see him.
I'm grateful for lessons such as these that remind us that we are just as connected as family in life as we are in death.
I didn't know Aunt Anna well at all. I knew who she was but didn't know her. I spent the day thinking of her and shedding tears and Im not sure why. But I realized today how powerful the connection of family can be, even family we don't know so well still is connected to who we are. A part of me mourned for Aunt Anna today and it was a real loss and pain in my heart. I'm not sure I understand why I cried for this family member I didn't know. But I know I felt a real connection of love for. I know now, more than ever, the strength of family ties are eternal.

Looking Back On 2007

2008-01-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

This was a tough year for just about everyone I know including myself. For me it was one of the greatest experiences I've ever had. I'm not so naive as to associate great with all happiness and smiles. 2007 was great with growth and struggles and fears and it was equally great with over coming them. Greatness comes with growth and change. I would like to think I accomplished some of my greatest changes for good this last year.
The world really starting "clicking" this year. I'm able to look back a specific times and incidences and pin point exactly the "AH HA!" moment where in that moment of time the world came together.

I learned much more about the character of people around me, who they really are. I made some tough decisions on who to keep around and who to let go. I let got of some people I love but were not particularly great travel partners. When I say travel partners I mean even though they were people I love, respect, had a wonderful time being with I had to move them to the back seat because they would distract me from my main journey. Read my "Journal of a Black Mormon Girl".
I'm grateful for those with whom I've gained true friendship. These are those who are still around. Some of my travel partners got upset when I focused on the purpose of my Journey. In their desperation they tried to barter and bargain. I often felt this was a great disrespect for who I am and what I believed and was trying to accomplished. In my opinion anyone who knows what you stand for and what you believe and they impose their desires upon you which are not conducive to your goals and focus is not only disrespectful, it's manipulative. I love these people, they are my friends and in some instanced even more. I traveled with them off and on, we would fight and argue then make up and be friends then fight and argue. Until the day came when I finally asked myself why am I compromising my values and goals for those who aren't respecting my values and goals? Although I enjoy the time I spend with them for the most part, the distraction effects my goals and my family goals. These decisions are hard when hearts are involved.
I learned to let go. Man, I tell ya, this is one of THE HARDEST things to do in life. I got fed up with waking up with a sinking feeling of failure each day. I found strength in my family and the example I wanted to be to my daughter's, nieces, nephews and the others who I have a strong influence on. I found myself believing one way and living another. I tried always to teach the right thing but that wasn't working out for me. I could not live one way and tech my family another and have it be truly effective.I'll always remember the look of disappointment on my daughters face when I would engage in things or allow somethings to happen that shouldn't have.
Living in that kind of chaos, stress and guilt each day took it's toll on me. I decided to fight for myself and my family.
When we make decisions to make changes in our life it feels as if the whole world around us resists. I guess the world wants to make sure we're serious about the changes and will throw everything in out way to frustrate the situation to make sure we're serious and strong enough to make those changes we desire. Depending on where u really are in you're life you'll either cave to the pressure and revert back or allow that pressure to diamonize you. Diamonds end where pressure begins. There was great resistance in myself and in others for the changes needed. I even has situations arise that I thought were LONG GONE. Each time I took a deep breath and said... "Bring it on." When it came I cried and wined and cussed and pushed people away. It hurt. It hurt so bad it doubled me over. It hurt so bad some days I just couldn't get out of bed. It hurt so bad sometimes i just slept so I wouldn't have to sleep and other days it work me up so I couldn't sleep. It wasn't pretty but I went through it. The Ugly and the bad I went through it. I revisited those pains and angers that I kept stuffing down and went through it. I kept coming up and I kept going through it because when it comes up, it comes up to purge its self from you, and only then can the healing begin. I got me all sorts of healing done in 2007. And it feels good.

I faced 3 of my greatest fears this year. I wont share them here, those who know me already know what they are. I tell you there is almost nothing greater than facing that fear and overcoming it. Each fear I've encountered I tried to remember you cannot have fear and faith. And it's in those moment where you learn who you really are and what you're capable of. Knowing that and mastering who you are a great key to happiness. It provides faith in yourself and in in whatever higher power you choose to believe in. For me, that would be God.
I know that I can face whatever fears I have, rational or not and be ok. And as crazy as it sounds.... Just keep spiders away from me, I'm not there yet with spiders.

I became absolutely wonderful this year. People tell me this all the time. I just started believing how right they are. It took me 40 years to fall in love... with myself. My crazy hair. My voluptuous body. My mind. And my ability to draw people in. Even people I don't care for would like to friends. And if those i don't even care for love me also and think I'm fabulous, who am I NOT to believe that REALLY am absolutely fabulous? Exactly. I've learned my boundaries. I have learned when I have to walk away, stay away, shut my mouth, scream inside while smiling outside. I like that my family and friends recognize when those times are. I rec'd a call one day from someone I was just peaked with. They kept phoning and phoning and phoning. Then my daughter answered my phone and let them know... "you may not know this, but she is staying away from you for YOUR benefit, not hers. It may be best for you to just step off for a bit and let her come to you or you probably will not like the outcome." (Thank heaven for little girls.) I know myself well enough to know when I need to stay away. I've learned to respect that about me, because there were times when I crossed my own boundaries and the aftermath has not been pretty at all. Knowing and sticking to your boundaries is a good thing.

2007 I tried to purge those things that were plaguing me spiritually. This was hardest of all. But it was so so so so worth it. It feels good to be good and to be doing good. It feels good to know that I've stopped trying to do the right things and are actually doing the right things. People try all their lives to accomplish things and never get passed the trying to actually doing. I am doing the right things and that feels good. I'm not saying there aren't times when I get frustrated because it looks like those not doing the right things are getting all the things I want. But I know that looks are deceiving. I'm deciding to put my all into what I know is right and I've never been happier. My family has never flourished more. Those people and places and things I thought I'd miss have been compensated for by other people, places and things. The pain dulls and the joy surrounds and overcomes it.

Focus on what matters most. I had a tendency to focus on the hear and now. I want what i want when I want it. I think I know what's best because I know how good I feel when I get what I want. I have come to realize, although it may be feeling good now, is it hindering my future and my final resting status? These things have become important to me. I've many friend who feel they are beyond striving for that eternal happiness so they're just going to go with the flow. I've decided I'm going down kicking and screaming. No body can say I quit and went with the crowd. I'm not quitting and I'm no longer willing to settle. 2007 taught me how to be a fighter.

Looking back on 2007 it truly has been one of the greatest experiences in my life. I'm looking forward to what 2008 brings all it's ups and downs and hills and valley's. I plan on continuing to just get better with age and time. And I plan on encouraging that greatness in those around me.
Welcome 2008!

Because Someone Else Gave

2007-12-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

When the holidays come do we start to spend
As a token of what we can’t say?
Is it making up for time unspent
of the things we should do everyday?

As we open our boxes and stocking and bags
Wrapped in nice little paper and bows.
Do we scoff at a trinket and wonder the cost
With a smirk and upturned nose?

How often do we simply brush gifts aside
Unwelcome and left in the shade?
Forgetting the only reason we have received
Was because somebody else also gave?

The importance of giving is a key part of life
remember it down through the age?
God loved us so much
And for our lives to touch
His only begotten… he gave.

So unselfish a gift he presented the earth
a savior to show us the way
for there is no other perfected enough
to give us great hope every day.

This only begotten he sent us
his life was to make us all free
his focus unwaivering
his teachings of love
instructing us just how to be

While his time here on earth was not very long
his impact will surely amaze
his path clearly marked
from the time of the start
until now in these latter days

when his time came to suffer the sins
of each child, woman and man
his body then bled
and the pains of us shed
he would not deviate from the plan.

The only begotten given to the earth
to save the sons of man
then have him self again to us
to fulfill Heavenly Father’s plan.

Do we take this as trinkets we discard to the side
cuz it’s not what we wanted to get?
Do we scoff at how little money was spent
and compare the value met?

In all that you purchase with checks and with cards
and with cash and coupons on hand
how often do you think of the love you can give
to him, your fellow man?

Real Love can’t be found
in pretty wrapped boxes
or stocking and festive bags
the greatest of gifts can be found any place
ours was in swaddling rags

these rags held a baby brought into the world
by the father , who wanted to give
and again these rags were draped on the one
who died so that you might live.

When the time comes upon us
once again to show just a token of love
Do we spend our hard cash on
nick knacks and stuff
or do we take example from above?

Instead of gifts with the glitter and glow
and lights that go flashing all day
Remember the only reason you have received…
was because someone, with love, for you gave.

Karyn M. Dudley © 2006

Karma... baby.... KARMA!

2007-12-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

Some Colleagues and I were talking about Karma, and how much we love her.

One of them mentioned how his Parents: father and step-mom were getting a divorce. Here lies the scenario....

The Father met the step-mom while his Mom and Dad were still married. Apparently the marriage was on the rocks and divorce was going to happen eventually. Step mom befriended that dad and they became very close. Too close for a man who still was technically married. I guess his father didn't really divulge that he was married and therefore encouraged what should have been taboo closeness. Mom found out and blew a freaking gasket. Step mom found out about the wife.
Now Karma says
"a decent woman, or any woman respectful of God, herself (especially herself), bonds of marriage and the man she's interested in should have backed off until a divorce was final. They could be friends from a distance but let the husband and wife figure their stuff out and get whatever they're going to do finalized and done before moving in."
Weeelllll..... Step mom didn't do that. In fact, she "supported him" by encouraging the closeness of their inappropriate friendship in fact, she poured it on and threw herself at him every way possible making herself available to provide all the things the current wife wasn't providing emotionally, physically and so forth thus encouraging him to be in favor of divorce . Before the divorce was final their relationship was very inappropriate.
Karma says.. "
dang, at least wait for the ink to dry on the divorce papers, ms shameful."
A short time after the divorce was final Dad married step mom. Sure there were troubles as any marriage would have. No one could really tell there were trouble because together they posed a united front. But deep down inside, step mom was always wondering where dad was, who he was with, what he was hiding and so on and so forth. I guess what it came down to is she could never truly trust him because he sort of was with her inappropriately while still being legally married. She was always fearful about him meeting... someone who would not encourage him to make sure he'd done all he can to save the marriage. Meeting someone who would inappropriately encourage him to become emotionally close and attached in a way that may be not quite right for someone who is not exactly available. She was afraid he had friends who was basically just like her. I guess she figured out.... Step mom should have let that man alone until everything was final. She should have given him some breathing room to get things taken care of with his former wife and family making sure their welfare was secure and on track. And then she should have allowed him to take sometime for himself, regroup, find out who he is at this time in his life and what he wants and allowed him to get himself completely together. She should have had enough respect for herself to not wanna be THAT woman or even the REBOUND woman. Cuz THAT woman is paranoid, insecure and full of doubts as well. And so was her marriage. It's not really known if Dad did anything inappropriately while being married to step mom, but Karma says: "if someone will cheat with you, they will cheat on you." AMEN to that.

Props to your mama, Jackson, for putting up with that crap then and for being able to hold her head up and smile at her life right now.

This is why I love Karma!