Now that I have your attention lets talk about it. This is a very hard topic. But I've come acrossed it too much in the past couple of years to stay silent anymore. I don't expect too many of my friends or too many folks in general to comment on this subject as it is pretty much "TABOO" which is part of the problem. No body has a desire to discuss the tough stuff. But these are things that need to be discussed.
It's very heartbreaking and disheartening when someone you love has an addiction. Addictions to porn and deviant sexual acts can be even more devastating than being addicted to drugs, alcohol and other substances you ingest. While substance abuse too, can wreck havoc on the addict and those who love them, you can obtain happy and healthy relationships from recovering and abstinence. Not so much with sexual addiction. Sex is an important part of relationships. It directly and immediately effects the lives of 2 people if you're trying to have a relationship... and the family as well. Sexual deviance and inappropriateness is everywhere:Tv, Radio, Literature, Media, and in our own homes: computer, web cams, cell phones, any communication device.
The scriptures warn/council us about unnatural love and lust. Most Christians understand this meaning to be about homosexuality. We are mistaken if we believe this to be the ONLY unnatural love/lust being talked about in the bible.
18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.
24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
ROMANS 1:18-32
I believe we are mistaken if we don't consider compulsive/impulsive of any kind to be an unnatural love disapproving of God.
The hardest part about addiction is being one who loves the addict. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM. They have to come to terms with it themselves. No one likes to admit they have a problem or a disorder. There's much embarrassment in admitting it and seeking the professional help needed. Most will not. They aren't strong enough. It has become a way of life.
The sad part is how it damages the lives of those around them and they don't see it or care: spouses, children, other family members. Their biggest mistake, I feel is in thinking others don't know. If it's on your computer, it's found out. If your actions and words are inconsistent on a regular basis, we know. You can't hide EVERYTHING, you've sent the wrong email, text or I/M to the wrong person. You can't remember which person you're telling which lies to. You've recorded porn over your child's favorite Disney TV show. You've left phone numbers in your pockets and some one else does your laundry. You've left evidence of your one night stands or who you're cheating with on your camera. You have no or low physical desires to be with your spouse or significant other. (No need, you're getting what you need online and through self gratification) Or you have only physical relationships with skills of how to deal with the emotional attachment.
Trust me, we know because it IS ingrained in your personality. We see it in your actions, hear it in your justifications, and we feel it every time you choose it over us.
There are definite patterns of porn and sexual addictions. Most of those who are addicted are so oblivious to the patterns they don't usually realize or see it they're in such deep denial they honestly believe they are hiding their addiction, justifying their habits and covering it up with plethora of lies and manipulations. It's so ingrained into who they are and their personalities and THEY"RE SO BLIND THEY DON'T SEE THAT WE AREN'T BUYING IT. It's normal to them. And learning how to masquerade it is a second natured attempt at desperation. In most cases the one addicted will resort to anger, abuse (physical, mental, emotional)and abandonment to protect themselves and their habit.
Their comfort mostly lies in their solitude. When they are lone they don't have to work so hard to hide their habit.
They keep their friends and family at a distance from their personal space. They enjoy time with them, however it's usually not in their own homes. They very rarely invite anyone outside of their habit or "fix" into their turf.
They prefer to communicate in a "non emotional" state or situation. Text. I/M. Email. There is very little emotional investment. They become cowards to the sound of a voice or facial expressions. It humanizes their partner and this is where they have trouble, with human emotion.
However they show great human emotion, comfort euphoria and well-being while at the screen of a computer or cell phone.
They're also lost confused and out of sorts when away from these items too long. For example... late for work because they were online or had to go back and get their cell phone cuz they left it at home.
Also they're very controlling, anxious and guarded about others using their computer and cell phones. Example: Hovering close if you ask to use their computer or you ask to use their phone and they have to dial the number for you, stand right with you and make sure it's turned off properly. They guard it with more than normal caution and control.
This anxiousness comes from what you might actually find on their gadgets: Porn, sex talk, conversations and phone numbers from the opposite gender. It's all part of hiding and protecting themselves.
Other telling signs:
Poor Hygiene. Sometimes it's person hygiene, sometimes it's living space. Are clothes worn 2 and 3 times without being washed? Their homes are are livable, but remain cluttered and messy for the most part. Their version of clean is tolerable. They blame others for THEIR inability to maintain.
There is usually a long history of job loss. They got fired because of something not truly their fault or they quite because they were being treated unfairly somehow. They've rolled through many jobs, good job, bad jobs. Their job loss was never their fault, of course.
Typically if they have a spouse, the spouse is basically the main provider for the household. They spend their time maintaining the house hold, paying the bills etc. The addict spends their money and time on themselves (maintaining the the things they need for their habit). Typically bankruptcy is involved: The addict can't keep a job and usually causes the most bills, Computer upgrades, extra phone lines in the house, newest video game or devices or literature to support the habit.
There are some of the text book patterns of addicts. The computer and other electronic devices with access to the web or any device where sexual favors and activities can be solicited and satisfied are used in obsession. Not to mention the interest and desire to use them rather then to interact with a real person. Or to use them to interact with a real person instead of cutting out the "middle man" and interacting directly.
Porn and computer gaming has been the main deal breaker in my relationships the last 5-10 years.
The computer is the biggest accomplice. There is a vast overlap between gaming addiction and porn addiction. Although porn is a socially acceptable addiction, gamers tend to feel more guilty than porn addicts because gamers don't hide their addiction and get more ridicule and criticism.
If you or someone you love can answer yes to most of these "SIGNS" then seeking professional help may be in order:
S = Sleep cycle is consistently advanced. Goes to sleep later and wakes later or is tired in the morning.
I = Irritable when not on the computer. Preoccupied thinking about the computer and their activities there (sex, gaming, browsing, tuning the system up, etc.). Can become enraged if told to stop using.
G = Guilty about his/her computer use so tries to hide evidence of 1) game/porn purchases, 2) online activities (deletes cache, uses encryption/passwords, etc.), and 3) logs on secretly, etc.; 4) defensive when confronted.
N = Nightmares. Dreams about his or her gaming/computer use.
S = Social dropouts - people who become more isolated by their computer use. This is seen when there is a consistent pattern of sacrificing real-life relationships to preserve virtual ones. Alternatively, seems to prefer living in virtual worlds more than their real one. These people become or have been NEETs: 'Not in Employment, Education, or Training.'"
IN the mean time this is what we who love the addict sees:
Them having a sense of well-being and comfort of euphoria while at the screen of computer
Spending more time at the computer
Carving long time at the computer until neglecting family, friends and relatives
Feeling meaningless, dull, empty, depressed or irritable when not at the computer.
I actually had someone tell me it's so ingrained in their personality they actually get depressed when they don't have the latest cell phone or gadget or are away from their computer (their baby) for a long time. And to them, it was not normal or unnatural.
Also they are Successful online: they've mastered level 750 of W.O.W or City Of Heroes. And when things aren't going right they can start over and over without consequences or responsibility. They are in control. They spend very little emotional investment for their stimulation and get all the glory of being successful and fulfilled. THEY ARE VICTORIOUS. Porn works the same way They are in control, very little emotional investment no once to be accountable to, they are the boss, in charge, stimulation with no emotional effort or responsibility.
They may also find themselves having to depend on family members to help them survive... having to move with relatives two or more times to help them survive.
These patterns can go on for years: An addict can function well for 2 or 3 years and then suddenly fall on hard times (or hit rock bottom) and have to rely on others to help support them while they get back on their feet. It's a life cycle of an addict.
Those who want to stop and think they are strong enough to do it on their own, you are mistaken or you would have done it years ago. I don't believe any man or woman of God who is caught up really wants to be. I think they go through spurts of trying to be clean and resist but the physical desire and emotional detachment has become a thinking disorder. some where down the line they have forgotten when we are truly in balance: body, mind and spirit, WE control our urges they do not control us.
To those who have been abandoned or left because of this problem please know the following:
1.It is NOT you that has the problem.
2.You respected yourself enough to be intolerant of a situation that was unloving and disrespectful to you.
3. You were smart enough to not fall for the manipulations and lies. The had no other choice but to go to support your habit.
4. You were strong enough to leave and preserve your own life.
5. The emotional & and mental well being of you and your family will be healthier.
6. You cannot help them unless they have a desire to help themselves.
7. Make sure they understand you cannot live with the addiction or consequences of it but you care deeply for them.
8. Although confronting them may have proven to be disastrous, you loved and cared for them enough to let them know you have great concern for them because of this.
9. Some times walking away is the best thing you can do for them and yourself.
10. Always be supportive in their efforts to overcome addiction, but don't allow their problems to rule your life.
*If we are made in his Image...lets begin to act like it.*
February 20, 2009
February 04, 2009
The African American History of my Hometown!
It's black history month,welcome. I remember when I was young, in elementary school we had black history week each year in February. We took the opportunity to learn about slavery, emancipation, civil rights and what not. It was pretty cool.
One of my favorite parts of growing up in Michigan was knowing the important roll my state played in the Underground Railroad. Also learning the important roll my home town Battle Creek, played also gave me some sense of pride.
Some history:
This memorial statue is in west Battle Creek:
There were 7 different ways to run the slaves through Michigan and up to Canada through the Underground Railroad:
They could come up from Toledo, Ohio and into Detroit and across the Detroit river.
The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.
Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.
Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.
It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.
The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.
Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.
Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.
It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.
http://www.albion.edu/library/JAT/MIUGR.htm This link takes you to an interactive map where you can see certain historical landmarks along the way.
One of the coolest things was being able to visit the Gravesite of Sojourner Truth in the Oak Hill Cemetery. I was honored to visit her resting place last summer (2008)
I'm rather proud of the place I grew up and its place in Black History. It's streets didn't hold marches. There were probably no bus protests. I'm pretty sure no one got hosed down in the streets for picketing. But it's streets are full of the souls and spirits of Men, women and children who hid in the cellars, basements, attics, barns, closets on their way to Freedom.
And that, folks, is a little bit of the Black History of my home town.
One of my favorite parts of growing up in Michigan was knowing the important roll my state played in the Underground Railroad. Also learning the important roll my home town Battle Creek, played also gave me some sense of pride.
Some history:
This memorial statue is in west Battle Creek:
There were 7 different ways to run the slaves through Michigan and up to Canada through the Underground Railroad:
They could come up from Toledo, Ohio and into Detroit and across the Detroit river.
The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.
Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.
Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.
It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.
The second route was from Toledo to Adrian to Morenci to Tecumseh to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
Another Underground Railroad route ran along Old Sauk Road from Indiana; Niles to White Pigeon to Sturgis to Coldwater to Quincy to Jonesville to Somerset to Clinton to Saline to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fourth route took escapees on the Old Territorial Road from Indiana and Illinois; Niles to Cassopolis to Schoolcraft to Climax to Kalamazoo to Battle Creek to Marshall to Albion to Parma to the Michigan Center to Jackson to Dexter to Leoni to Grass Lake to Ann Arbor to Giddes to Ypsilanti to Plymouth to Swartzburg to the River Rouge to Detroit.
The fifth was the Grand River Trail from Indiana and Illinois; St. Joseph-Benton Harbor to South Haven to Holland to Grand Rapids to Lowell to Portland to Lansing to Williamston to Howell to Brighton to Farmington to Detroit.
Route six was from Detroit, Lansing, Saginaw, or Flint to Port Huron.
Route seven was from Chicago to Duluth to Mackinaw City, continuing on to Detroit or Port Huron via Saginaw, or to Canada through Sault Ste. Marie.
It is believed that Michigan had more than 200 "depots" on the Underground Railroad. A depot was a planned stop and included churches, homes, or any safe place to hide.
http://www.albion.edu/library/JAT/MIUGR.htm This link takes you to an interactive map where you can see certain historical landmarks along the way.
One of the coolest things was being able to visit the Gravesite of Sojourner Truth in the Oak Hill Cemetery. I was honored to visit her resting place last summer (2008)
I'm rather proud of the place I grew up and its place in Black History. It's streets didn't hold marches. There were probably no bus protests. I'm pretty sure no one got hosed down in the streets for picketing. But it's streets are full of the souls and spirits of Men, women and children who hid in the cellars, basements, attics, barns, closets on their way to Freedom.
And that, folks, is a little bit of the Black History of my home town.
January 25, 2009
Impressions of the Inauguration
Going into January 20 2009 I woke and thought "Lord, please don't there be any mess on this day." I know several people who went to Washington DC to the inauguration. I could have gone myself except it was the first day of work at the new job. Goodness knows how things can be when a buncha folk get together, standing on opposite sides of an issue. There's sure to be "incidents" and many of them.
It was pleasing to know that as of 6PM the evening of the Inauguration there were no police incidents. NONE! ZERO! ZIPPO! NADDA!
I think much of the words "UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL." I was able to watch the swearing in at the new job although there were opposites in the room, there was a coming together of unity.
At this point it doesn't really matter what you think of the new president. It doesn't do any good to badmouth, slander and criticize. It didn't do any good with president Bush. It would sevice our country better to find ways to support the President.
I liked the swearing in. That's really all I saw of the Inauguration. I loved Aretha Frankling in her "church lady hat" singing "My Country Tis of Thee." I've heard some people say she butchered it, but I don't think so. It's how a member of my family would probably sing it. I thought it was very fitting.
I loved, Loved, LOVED the prayer by Dr Rick Warren, of the Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA.
I think he set the tone, at least for swearing in ceremony. Many people, Christians were upset as his reading or reciting things of the Koran, and the calling of Jesus by the many names he's known by in different religions, cultures and so forth. I happen to pray to God. I don't pray to Jesus, However I pray in the name of Jesus Christ because he is the mediator. No one can come unto the father except through Jesus Christ.
"I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life—Yeshua, Esa, Jesus, Jesus—"
Were we not a nation founded on religious freedoms? Religious freedoms are just that, freedom to practice who, how and what you believe without forcing or having it forced upon you. I think the invocation reflected the diversity of the country as well it should have.
Also what I liked about his prayer:
"Help us, oh God, to remember that we are Americans. United not by race or religion or by blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all. When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us.
When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us. And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches and civility in our attitudes—even when we differ."
How much greater would the country be if we could remember these things and actually seek forgiveness and live in such a way we wouldn't have to ask forgiveness.
He ended in away that we should probably all begin our day:
"Give to our new president, Barack Obama, the wisdom to lead us with humility, the courage to lead us with integrity, the compassion to lead us with generosity. Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet and every one of our freely elected leaders."
Why wouldn't we pray for our families, religious leaders and political leaders each day? Trust me, they need it as much as we do individually.
I'm not so sure what was up with the actually swearing in of the President. Who flubbed up? They both flubbed up, The President seemed a bit anxious. Shoot, who wouldn't be. And then Chief Justices seemed a bit nervous. They both probably wanted to get it over with. I No matter. What's done is done. No turning back now.
I liked Bishop Gene Robinson's prayer as well. What alot of people don't know is that Bishop Gene Robinson is openly Gay. I believe that alone, without him having uttered a word, probably dismissed him to alot of people. Not me. I believe the Lord hears and answers every prayer from every one of his children who utter a prayer.
I'd be missing out on a lot of great things in this world if I decided not to do something because I don't approve of a person. I guess there's an art to knowing how to use with is applicable and disregard what is not.
Bishop Robinson said what alot of us want to say:
"Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.
I fear for this country, not because of the man we've elected to lead it, but because of the burdon we've put on his shoulders, the repair we're asking him to mend, and the lack of support, patience and respect I hear in those around me. We are a nation full of citizen hoping and expecting him to fail. It says more about us as citizens than anyone we've elected to run it.
How about the President and First Lady walking a portion of the Parade route? People think all presidents do it. Not so. Jimmy Carter was the first, not that long ago.
Since then Presidents : Reagan and Bush Sr were the only one's until President Obama. I think it was a needed thing. To show courage. To remind the Nation that the United States in the land of the Brave. I like the confidence it gives the man. It gives me more confidence in him and hope it gives us confidence and courage as well.
I also was impressed with President Obama's speech. I didn't show a pretense or fales hope, I believe it was very realistic. It was straight forward ofthe issues that need to be dealth with and he pressed upon the american people there wouldn't be quick easy fix. I think he also brought forth that importance of being a great citizen and our nation being a friend to other countries with the ability to be humble leaders. I think that's new. I know we as Americans strut around in our arrogance at being the worlds greatest and most powerful nation. We need to bring respect and dignity back to being a country that leads. We've lost our confidence in ourselves and so have other countries.
I think the inauguration as a whole was pretty reflective of the majority of the nation. We're all fearful of what this man Obama has in store for us as a nation. I'm hopeful and anxious just as I believe most of us are.
If the Inauguration is an indication of what's to come I've very optimistic and hopeful for the country and our new President.
January 17, 2009
I Miss My Back Yard.
Utah got snow for Christmas. It was an obnoxious amount to fall all at once and left many of us snowed in. It was wonderful, I love it. It kind of reiterated itself for New Years. Today most of it's melted. Oh there's still plenty left but the "King of the Mountain" piles that the kids climb onto with their star wars light sabers and Harry Potter wands when the duel are slowling turning into hills and bumps of ice on the side of the road. When I bbq's last week the whole back yard was still snow covered to shin high. Today, the grass is showing in spots but there's also piles in the corner. The path to my gas grill is clear. I actually just went outside and fired her up for business.
Looking at the bare spot of yellow grass in the lawn made me realize how much I miss my back yard. I can't remember much of the time I spent out there last summer, but I've seen some groovy pictures of the parties we threw! As I looked around at the patio furnature and the umbrella with the chairs stacked on the side of the house, I get glimpses of party lights, food, and tents in my mind. And I start to miss my back yard.
It's not very big or luxurious but man, do I LOVE my back yard :)
And I can't wait to use it again.
January 05, 2009
An Officer And A Gentleman
I just finished watching "An Officer And A Gentleman." I love that movie. LOVE IT! I bet my favorite parts aren't what you think either. You can take out all of the love scenes and I would love it just as much.
I think I like the story of the man who came from such dispair and hopelessness and rose out of the ashes like Phoenix. Zack Mayo goes to live with his father after his mother has committed suicide. His alcoholic father has no desire to be a father at all nor has he ever been and makes it known he doesn't want to be. But Zack has hopes and dreams. He wants to be a Naval Pilot. Of course his father doesn't think he has it in him. So he bails on the dad and runs off to Aviation Officer Candidate School.
Mayo has what it takes, but he has a bad attitude, is selfish and self-centered. He's into getting ahead with no thought of anyone else and has no interest in being part of the team. For that reason Gunnery Sergeant Foley is all always on his back.
Well, Mayo gets caught cheating. Foley wants him to quit. Mayo refused. Foley takes him through a rough & rigorous weekend of physical punishment. He wants to make his life hell so he'll quit on his own. Mayo never quits. Foley pretty much tells him "too bad, you're outta here."
Mayo breaks down. He cracks his hard outer shell and breaks down...
"I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go... I got nothin' else."
Foley allows him to stay. And we see a change in Mayo after that. He learns what it's like to be part of a team. He learns, for probably the first time in his life, what it's like to have and be part of a network of support. Thus he mends his ways.
Their 13th and last week of training is called survival week. It's pretty self explainitory. One of their final tasks in training is an obstacle course. Mayo is up for getting the record for the fastest time ever for completing the course. The course is started at 5 second intervals, two candidates at a time will go, then a 5 second wait and another two will go. As Mayo begins and passes his teammate each team mates give him encouragement to "go for the record!" He come to a wall that each person has to get over by grabbing a rope and walking up and over the wall.
The 1 female candidate in the class has always had trouble getting over the wall.
He approaches the wall and the Candidate Seegar is struggling. He gets over the way and in passing encourages her. She stuggles and fall, just hanging and dangling on the rope. Mayo gets to the top of the wall, looks down and tells her to "walk the wall..." She tells him to just go on and get the record, he jumps off the back of the wall, goes around to the front and proceeds to talk her through walking the wall and they do it together:
Don't you let go! You walk that wall! Pull! Pull! Pull, Candidate Seeger! Pull! One leg! You got it! Pull over! Pull over! Pull yourself over! All right!"
He puts aside his own "fame and glory" to help his teammate.
The rest of the movie was ok. Mayo produces a happy ending in the movie.
I think these particular scenes were touching to me because they make me think. Why the heck did Mayo have to be physically broken down to get to the point of "catching a clue?" How much are we like that? Holding on to false characteristics that make us less of who we can really be? Mayo presented the appearance of being impressive only when needed. Is that how we are? Knowing exactly what we need to do to impress people, instead of having the kind of character that encourages us to do our best even when no one is looking or watching over us? I guess that's called brown nosing, yeah? YEAH.
How often to we grab the hand of a family member, friend, or colleague and help them over the wall? And do we do it only when the Gunnary Sergeant is watching, so we look impressive?
Something to think about I guess. I guess for me Officer and a Gentleman is all about integrity. Integrity with a few cuss words, a tradgedy and love story all mixed in.
Integrity is doing the right thing and doing your best even when no one else is around to see it or applaud it. It is the core of who we are.
I hope for TWO Oh ZERO NINE we will focus a bit more on being an Officer and a Gentleman. ;)
I think I like the story of the man who came from such dispair and hopelessness and rose out of the ashes like Phoenix. Zack Mayo goes to live with his father after his mother has committed suicide. His alcoholic father has no desire to be a father at all nor has he ever been and makes it known he doesn't want to be. But Zack has hopes and dreams. He wants to be a Naval Pilot. Of course his father doesn't think he has it in him. So he bails on the dad and runs off to Aviation Officer Candidate School.
Mayo has what it takes, but he has a bad attitude, is selfish and self-centered. He's into getting ahead with no thought of anyone else and has no interest in being part of the team. For that reason Gunnery Sergeant Foley is all always on his back.
Well, Mayo gets caught cheating. Foley wants him to quit. Mayo refused. Foley takes him through a rough & rigorous weekend of physical punishment. He wants to make his life hell so he'll quit on his own. Mayo never quits. Foley pretty much tells him "too bad, you're outta here."
Mayo breaks down. He cracks his hard outer shell and breaks down...
"I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go... I got nothin' else."
Foley allows him to stay. And we see a change in Mayo after that. He learns what it's like to be part of a team. He learns, for probably the first time in his life, what it's like to have and be part of a network of support. Thus he mends his ways.
Their 13th and last week of training is called survival week. It's pretty self explainitory. One of their final tasks in training is an obstacle course. Mayo is up for getting the record for the fastest time ever for completing the course. The course is started at 5 second intervals, two candidates at a time will go, then a 5 second wait and another two will go. As Mayo begins and passes his teammate each team mates give him encouragement to "go for the record!" He come to a wall that each person has to get over by grabbing a rope and walking up and over the wall.
The 1 female candidate in the class has always had trouble getting over the wall.
He approaches the wall and the Candidate Seegar is struggling. He gets over the way and in passing encourages her. She stuggles and fall, just hanging and dangling on the rope. Mayo gets to the top of the wall, looks down and tells her to "walk the wall..." She tells him to just go on and get the record, he jumps off the back of the wall, goes around to the front and proceeds to talk her through walking the wall and they do it together:
Don't you let go! You walk that wall! Pull! Pull! Pull, Candidate Seeger! Pull! One leg! You got it! Pull over! Pull over! Pull yourself over! All right!"
He puts aside his own "fame and glory" to help his teammate.
The rest of the movie was ok. Mayo produces a happy ending in the movie.
I think these particular scenes were touching to me because they make me think. Why the heck did Mayo have to be physically broken down to get to the point of "catching a clue?" How much are we like that? Holding on to false characteristics that make us less of who we can really be? Mayo presented the appearance of being impressive only when needed. Is that how we are? Knowing exactly what we need to do to impress people, instead of having the kind of character that encourages us to do our best even when no one is looking or watching over us? I guess that's called brown nosing, yeah? YEAH.
How often to we grab the hand of a family member, friend, or colleague and help them over the wall? And do we do it only when the Gunnary Sergeant is watching, so we look impressive?
Something to think about I guess. I guess for me Officer and a Gentleman is all about integrity. Integrity with a few cuss words, a tradgedy and love story all mixed in.
Integrity is doing the right thing and doing your best even when no one else is around to see it or applaud it. It is the core of who we are.
I hope for TWO Oh ZERO NINE we will focus a bit more on being an Officer and a Gentleman. ;)
January 01, 2009
Don't Get Left Behind in 2009
Happy New Year Everyone! Can I just say I'm happy to be leaving the mess of mixed emotions and confusion called 2008? Oh it wasn't all bad, I had my highest highs and lowest lows this year. I don't remember much of this year after mid June. But my memory is slowly coming back and my thinking is less jumbled and improving with each day. I must admit when I look back at 2008 I get a little upset sometimes because I feel like I lost my whole summer basically. July, August and September are a foggy blur. I couldn't even tell you what I did for July 4th or 24th, or Labor day. I remember going to Michigan and being on a boat ending up in canada. I remember falling down the stairs before going to Michigan. And I remember Halloween and most of everything there after. Yup,that's about it. I see pictures with me in them, but I wasn't there. SADNESS!
The Sadness is I took this part of 2008 to the entry way of 2009 and allowed it to over shadow the many wonderful things that happened and that I can remember.
I dropped the baggage of 2008 at the entry way of 2009 and stepped through the portal into 2009. A little bit wiser, a little bit smarter. My skin is a little bit thicker and I'm a little more cautious for reasons of my own.
I put up with alot of lies, disrespect and other B.S in the name of "turning the other cheek." Quite honestly I've run out of cheeks. I only have 4. (yes I'm counting the 2 you sit on also.) Too many people have mistaken my kindness for weakness and my silence for acceptance. I've been percieved wrong, lied to and lied on, manipulated. And I've kept silent about it for the sake of forgiveness and understanding.
I'm grateful for all of it. Every last bit of it. I learned what I want and what I don't want in life. Who I can trust and believe and who I want by my side for 2009.
Tonight as I step through the entry way of 2009 my vision is more clear and my focus is more, well focused. I will be leaving behind things, people, memories that are not participating in my progress. I'm leaving behind alot. Emptying out emotional closets and mental cupboards. I'm letting go of "security" blankets that no longer service me. Im cleaning up and making room.
Making room for what, you are probably wondering? I'm not sure of what is coming my way for 2009 but I do know this: 2 objeects cannot occupy the same place at the same time. I'm getting rid of those "old acquaintances" that should be forgot and making room for those thing which are uplifting, loving and that belongs. I'm not sure what the new year is going to bring. I'm excited for the adventure. Don't get left behind.
The Sadness is I took this part of 2008 to the entry way of 2009 and allowed it to over shadow the many wonderful things that happened and that I can remember.
I dropped the baggage of 2008 at the entry way of 2009 and stepped through the portal into 2009. A little bit wiser, a little bit smarter. My skin is a little bit thicker and I'm a little more cautious for reasons of my own.
I put up with alot of lies, disrespect and other B.S in the name of "turning the other cheek." Quite honestly I've run out of cheeks. I only have 4. (yes I'm counting the 2 you sit on also.) Too many people have mistaken my kindness for weakness and my silence for acceptance. I've been percieved wrong, lied to and lied on, manipulated. And I've kept silent about it for the sake of forgiveness and understanding.
I'm grateful for all of it. Every last bit of it. I learned what I want and what I don't want in life. Who I can trust and believe and who I want by my side for 2009.
Tonight as I step through the entry way of 2009 my vision is more clear and my focus is more, well focused. I will be leaving behind things, people, memories that are not participating in my progress. I'm leaving behind alot. Emptying out emotional closets and mental cupboards. I'm letting go of "security" blankets that no longer service me. Im cleaning up and making room.
Making room for what, you are probably wondering? I'm not sure of what is coming my way for 2009 but I do know this: 2 objeects cannot occupy the same place at the same time. I'm getting rid of those "old acquaintances" that should be forgot and making room for those thing which are uplifting, loving and that belongs. I'm not sure what the new year is going to bring. I'm excited for the adventure. Don't get left behind.
December 23, 2008
December 17, 2008
Child Of Color & Just Like Me
Living in Utah it's quite difficult finding toys, games, books, etc for families/children of color. It's better than it was 18 years ago when I first moved here. But Utah still has work to do in the divesity department.
Most people of color who come to Utah will leave because of the lack of diversity and what they see as cultural tolerance. But if people don't stay there will never be people to pioneer the effort. My sister and I decided to stay and be pioneers. Hopefully in doing so we can help the generations behind us and make things easier and more available for them.
I have become in association with a Toy manufacturer thats specialises in culturally diverse toys, games, dolls, books etc. Every child should be able to have books and toys and accesories that make them want to say "JUST LIKE ME"
I hope this can be a tool in bringing this resource.
If youre interested in browsing that website you can go to my http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/
on the right hand side is the "just like me" article and the link.
Also some friends and I are developing a website for the education of teaching children how to be more tolerant and respectful of different races and cultures. I also and hoping it can be and educational resourse for those who are looking for ways to discuss certain issue with their children and find information on skin and hair care, cultural holidays and other things of diverse education.
www.childofcolor.com
Let me know what you think. Feedback is welcome :)
December 16, 2008
Gaming & Relationships
I came across an article that really bothered me: You can find it here: http://www.destructoid.com/marriage-gaming-game-over--29668.phtml#comment
The article is almost 2 years old but as I was reading it, trying to get a better understanding of the gaming "lifestyle" because lets face it, it really is more indoctrinated than a hobby. Anymore the more I read it the more disturbing it became to me.
The article is about a guy who is a gamer and being lucky that he was able to find a wife who he was able to introduce into gaming. I think it's cool that he was able to find someone to enjoy his hobby with.
I think my frustration was this. The whole article is about finding ways to introduce your love interest into gaming so they A: Understand the lifestyle B: Can spend time together C: Not have it interfere with the marriage/relationship.
Sound pretty good so far, yeah? Ummm NO! There was really nothing in there about taking an interest in your partners hobby's or compromising anything in their relm of likes other than Putting off your gameathon for next weekend to do the "Honey do" list this weekend. I have a HUGE problem with that.
I admit I have a biased opinion of gamers and gaming or anything that takes over the better judgment of having to make a choice between it and the needs of a human or human relationship.
How sad, to let something like this get in the way of human relationships. I can remember my daughter, an only child, not really going to friends houses because they just sit and play video games and watch T.V. Family christmas parties were anyone between the ages of 6 and 40 crowded around the console waiting for their turn while the Older folks cleaned up the holiday mess and talked story about family history and traditions that were basically dying out.
It's not secret that in this technological age we have many awesome things to make our lives and the world an easier place. But seriously, what is the trade off?
I've dated and hung out with some Gamers over the passed let's say 20 years. I've a few gamers in my family as well and I've also HAD a few in my family as well. The difference in that last sentance is gaming was a huge factor in more than a few divorces in family and friends.
Anyone out there ever have this experience?
"Never again! Had they had the (insert favorite hand held gaming device) on during the movie and dinner."
"He was more interested in his cell phone conversation then me."
The funny thing is....they would call back for a 2nd date.
I've hear parent's complain that their kids don't do their house work or school work because of their gaming systems. YET the parent's are sitting next to them in a filthy home with lazy kids.
Of course it's justified as family time when the parents are next to them playing.
I've learned it's a great baby sitter also. Easier to put the kids in front of an idiot box: Whether it be computer, TV etc than spend real time with them. Maybe marriage is the same way. Instead of putting real effort into becoming humanized with people, it's easier to dehumanize them as a avatar in a game.
I've noticed a pattern in a my gaming and techno friends and family. They don't all have all the characteristics of what I've noticed, but they have most of them:
A. Most of them are divorced or in marriage number 2 (because the first spouse didnt "understand" their lifestyle.)
B. Most of them have had a series of set backs in life: loss of jobs, loss of spouse, loss of property, some kind of loss that caused them to feel failed.
C. They are very technology savvy: Computer programmers, Cell phone collectors, PDA's Palms... you name it, they know it and are good at it.
D. There is a need to be in control just about all the time
E. They come across selfish and "me" oriented. In reality they may not be, but we have a hard time seeing it.
F. It seems they have great success getting to level 700 of whatever game and wear these success as though they won some small lottery.
G. They make us feel guilty when they can't get to their games because of something else we'd rather have them do.
H. Their justifications are blatantly justifyable and they actually get angry about our inability to accept it as valid.
I. I'm seriously too sad to continue a list so pathetic, so I'll stop there.
There's little "cheap, Courtesy" things they do as well. Turn to you with some less than involved comment or nudge to barely acknowledge your presence. And then go right back into their game. Only intensifying the fact that not only am i being ignored, they've just acknowledge me for 1 minute as if to say " I know you're here and You get one minute for every 25 minutes of game play"
I talked with my brother, who is a gamer, on his 2nd marriage and doing well I might add. His wife, is much like me: Understands it's a hobby and everyone should have time to enjoy their hobbys. Now I lived with my brother and his first wife for about a year. And the time he spent with the idiot box compared to the time he spent interacting with his spouse I would call shameful. Up until about 3 or 4 years ago, I would say his time spent was shameful.
I asked him what he does differently and how can I have a successful relationship should I (once again) fall for someone who happens to have the gaming lifestyle.
What he does differently:
When his wife comes home, the gaming/computer goes off, Period.
She has become the priority.
What kind of message does it send to your family if you come home from work after being apart all day and head straight for the toys? Especially if the spouse has been working all day as well. If your butt is playing games, and they're cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids, where is the partnership, and where is the compromise? And if they came home and headed straight for their toys and allowed you to do all the other needed things how would you feel?
My brother added this: " A gaming partner will give you every excuse in the books, and because they believe it, they expect you to believe it and will even get upset when you call B.S on it. You stand your ground and stick up for yourself and your needs."
For him, it was all about feelings of failure. In the gaming world he was successful. Each win or conquer was a success against what wasn't going on right in the real world. So it was easier to function in the real world but find more joy as a successful Avatar who can easily "start over" when things didn't go right and continue in victory when they did. Making it an easy addictive.
I guess we can't always do that in real life... start over when things do go right. Or control other people in a less than favorable situation.
I'm happy he did what was needed to start having those successes in the real world and experiencing that excitement and "high" with people, family, friends instead of machines, electronics and such.
Oh he still plays his games. But not every day, not even every week. It's become something to do when there's nothing to do. But he also realizes there is usually something else to do. The enjoyment he got from his gaming he now gets through his family and other things. He has found a way to fill the void that gaming once filled. And has become more physically healthy as well. Yeah I know there's the Wii games now that allow movement and minimal exercise. But it's scarey to me to rather sit and play a fake game of tennis, bowling, golf or whatever instead of a real game. Basically a gaming session would be sitting and eating. eating and sitting. Invite the boys over to come and sit and eat and play games. Is there any wonder there is an epidemic of obesity in the U.S? Which is a whole other blog altogether.
Anyway, you gamers out there may just chalk my experiences up to being with those who didn't know how to balance or prioritize. This could be true. As I think about it even just recently I've heard " what are you gonna get me? If you ever want to get me something, this is what you can get."
Do you know how often I've heard... "so what kind of gifts do you like?" or "what kinds of things/activities would you be interested in" in the last 2-3 years? Honestly, I can only think of twice. And those 2 times were kind of brushed under the rug due to the other person's desires. Sounds like I need stand up for myself more and to date a different calibre of men? I'm not saying better, I'm saying different. More compatible I guess, maybe?
I still say there is some deep void missing in someone's life who prefers so sit and interact electronically instead of voice to voice, face to face, person to person. A couple of years ago I would have labled such a person a coward. My views are slowly changing. I even have a PS2 myself. I think I've played it 3 times this year. Real life is just so much better. I enjoy being active, moving, living. Gaming makes me feel like I'm sitting around lazy wasting my life away when there's a World out there God created for me to live and function in. I'd rather actually go out dancing then stay in with my dance dance revolution.
So to my gaming friends and family:Don't expect any games from me for christmas or birthdays or ever. And I say this with love. ( my step sister complained about her first husbands gaming but would go out and buy him games. It's like creating a monster, and then complaining when it wrecks your house.)
I would love to hear a successful gaming relationship where the spouse didn't need to convert or be converted to gaming to feel a part of their spouses life or feel that was the only way to spend "quality" time with their significant other. And where the Gaming partner really put their priorities in place as is able to have successful relationship with a truly happy spouse.
The article is almost 2 years old but as I was reading it, trying to get a better understanding of the gaming "lifestyle" because lets face it, it really is more indoctrinated than a hobby. Anymore the more I read it the more disturbing it became to me.
The article is about a guy who is a gamer and being lucky that he was able to find a wife who he was able to introduce into gaming. I think it's cool that he was able to find someone to enjoy his hobby with.
I think my frustration was this. The whole article is about finding ways to introduce your love interest into gaming so they A: Understand the lifestyle B: Can spend time together C: Not have it interfere with the marriage/relationship.
Sound pretty good so far, yeah? Ummm NO! There was really nothing in there about taking an interest in your partners hobby's or compromising anything in their relm of likes other than Putting off your gameathon for next weekend to do the "Honey do" list this weekend. I have a HUGE problem with that.
I admit I have a biased opinion of gamers and gaming or anything that takes over the better judgment of having to make a choice between it and the needs of a human or human relationship.
How sad, to let something like this get in the way of human relationships. I can remember my daughter, an only child, not really going to friends houses because they just sit and play video games and watch T.V. Family christmas parties were anyone between the ages of 6 and 40 crowded around the console waiting for their turn while the Older folks cleaned up the holiday mess and talked story about family history and traditions that were basically dying out.
It's not secret that in this technological age we have many awesome things to make our lives and the world an easier place. But seriously, what is the trade off?
I've dated and hung out with some Gamers over the passed let's say 20 years. I've a few gamers in my family as well and I've also HAD a few in my family as well. The difference in that last sentance is gaming was a huge factor in more than a few divorces in family and friends.
Anyone out there ever have this experience?
"Never again! Had they had the (insert favorite hand held gaming device) on during the movie and dinner."
"He was more interested in his cell phone conversation then me."
The funny thing is....they would call back for a 2nd date.
I've hear parent's complain that their kids don't do their house work or school work because of their gaming systems. YET the parent's are sitting next to them in a filthy home with lazy kids.
Of course it's justified as family time when the parents are next to them playing.
I've learned it's a great baby sitter also. Easier to put the kids in front of an idiot box: Whether it be computer, TV etc than spend real time with them. Maybe marriage is the same way. Instead of putting real effort into becoming humanized with people, it's easier to dehumanize them as a avatar in a game.
I've noticed a pattern in a my gaming and techno friends and family. They don't all have all the characteristics of what I've noticed, but they have most of them:
A. Most of them are divorced or in marriage number 2 (because the first spouse didnt "understand" their lifestyle.)
B. Most of them have had a series of set backs in life: loss of jobs, loss of spouse, loss of property, some kind of loss that caused them to feel failed.
C. They are very technology savvy: Computer programmers, Cell phone collectors, PDA's Palms... you name it, they know it and are good at it.
D. There is a need to be in control just about all the time
E. They come across selfish and "me" oriented. In reality they may not be, but we have a hard time seeing it.
F. It seems they have great success getting to level 700 of whatever game and wear these success as though they won some small lottery.
G. They make us feel guilty when they can't get to their games because of something else we'd rather have them do.
H. Their justifications are blatantly justifyable and they actually get angry about our inability to accept it as valid.
I. I'm seriously too sad to continue a list so pathetic, so I'll stop there.
There's little "cheap, Courtesy" things they do as well. Turn to you with some less than involved comment or nudge to barely acknowledge your presence. And then go right back into their game. Only intensifying the fact that not only am i being ignored, they've just acknowledge me for 1 minute as if to say " I know you're here and You get one minute for every 25 minutes of game play"
I talked with my brother, who is a gamer, on his 2nd marriage and doing well I might add. His wife, is much like me: Understands it's a hobby and everyone should have time to enjoy their hobbys. Now I lived with my brother and his first wife for about a year. And the time he spent with the idiot box compared to the time he spent interacting with his spouse I would call shameful. Up until about 3 or 4 years ago, I would say his time spent was shameful.
I asked him what he does differently and how can I have a successful relationship should I (once again) fall for someone who happens to have the gaming lifestyle.
What he does differently:
When his wife comes home, the gaming/computer goes off, Period.
She has become the priority.
What kind of message does it send to your family if you come home from work after being apart all day and head straight for the toys? Especially if the spouse has been working all day as well. If your butt is playing games, and they're cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids, where is the partnership, and where is the compromise? And if they came home and headed straight for their toys and allowed you to do all the other needed things how would you feel?
My brother added this: " A gaming partner will give you every excuse in the books, and because they believe it, they expect you to believe it and will even get upset when you call B.S on it. You stand your ground and stick up for yourself and your needs."
For him, it was all about feelings of failure. In the gaming world he was successful. Each win or conquer was a success against what wasn't going on right in the real world. So it was easier to function in the real world but find more joy as a successful Avatar who can easily "start over" when things didn't go right and continue in victory when they did. Making it an easy addictive.
I guess we can't always do that in real life... start over when things do go right. Or control other people in a less than favorable situation.
I'm happy he did what was needed to start having those successes in the real world and experiencing that excitement and "high" with people, family, friends instead of machines, electronics and such.
Oh he still plays his games. But not every day, not even every week. It's become something to do when there's nothing to do. But he also realizes there is usually something else to do. The enjoyment he got from his gaming he now gets through his family and other things. He has found a way to fill the void that gaming once filled. And has become more physically healthy as well. Yeah I know there's the Wii games now that allow movement and minimal exercise. But it's scarey to me to rather sit and play a fake game of tennis, bowling, golf or whatever instead of a real game. Basically a gaming session would be sitting and eating. eating and sitting. Invite the boys over to come and sit and eat and play games. Is there any wonder there is an epidemic of obesity in the U.S? Which is a whole other blog altogether.
Anyway, you gamers out there may just chalk my experiences up to being with those who didn't know how to balance or prioritize. This could be true. As I think about it even just recently I've heard " what are you gonna get me? If you ever want to get me something, this is what you can get."
Do you know how often I've heard... "so what kind of gifts do you like?" or "what kinds of things/activities would you be interested in" in the last 2-3 years? Honestly, I can only think of twice. And those 2 times were kind of brushed under the rug due to the other person's desires. Sounds like I need stand up for myself more and to date a different calibre of men? I'm not saying better, I'm saying different. More compatible I guess, maybe?
I still say there is some deep void missing in someone's life who prefers so sit and interact electronically instead of voice to voice, face to face, person to person. A couple of years ago I would have labled such a person a coward. My views are slowly changing. I even have a PS2 myself. I think I've played it 3 times this year. Real life is just so much better. I enjoy being active, moving, living. Gaming makes me feel like I'm sitting around lazy wasting my life away when there's a World out there God created for me to live and function in. I'd rather actually go out dancing then stay in with my dance dance revolution.
So to my gaming friends and family:Don't expect any games from me for christmas or birthdays or ever. And I say this with love. ( my step sister complained about her first husbands gaming but would go out and buy him games. It's like creating a monster, and then complaining when it wrecks your house.)
I would love to hear a successful gaming relationship where the spouse didn't need to convert or be converted to gaming to feel a part of their spouses life or feel that was the only way to spend "quality" time with their significant other. And where the Gaming partner really put their priorities in place as is able to have successful relationship with a truly happy spouse.
December 12, 2008
Ghetto Christmas Elf!
This year, I'm a ghetto Christmas elf. One of my friends called me up the other day, she was getting out all of her christmas items and taking them to D.I. (Deseret Industries) which is the equivelent of the Salvation Army for those of you who don't live out west. She came across at Christmas wreath with a Raggedy Ann on it. Those who know me know I LOVE Raggedy Ann & Andy. So I told her "of course I want Raggedy Ann." And told her I'd come by to pick her up. When I eventually got there she had boxes and boxes of christmas decore. And this was really cute stuff. She said feel free to take what I wanted.
Since there was so much to go through I told her I'd just take the stuff and after going through it, I'd take it to D.I. Got the boxes home and there was some really fun stuff in there. Alot of it, not my style I was most interested in the pine garlands with lights and pine cones. She had a couple of Black Santa Clauses and Angels that I liked. As I was going through the stuff some of the names and faces of my neigbors started going through my head. I thought to myself... "How funny would it be to wake up and find extra christmas decorations in your yard and not know where it came from?" It cracked me up. The ideah was just funny and ghetto enough for me to be able to pull off.
Oh, don't worry, I'm safe in bloggin, my neigborhood doesn't blog really. Most of them say... "what's a blog." I probably won't be found out until weeks after Christmas. By then it'll be packed up and put in the storage for them to display next year. Actually Monday I did a Ghetto Elf Drop to 3 neigbors. I've passed their homes everyday and although they've added decorations to their yards, the one's I've added are still where I've left them. Soo Funny! I can't wait to hear the reactions from the neigbors through out the season.
It's going to be hilarious when people start talking and noticing. And even if they don't notice, Then I have a little Secret with God.... which is sometimes the way I like it best.
Now Go out and do some Ghetto Elfing yourselves!
Since there was so much to go through I told her I'd just take the stuff and after going through it, I'd take it to D.I. Got the boxes home and there was some really fun stuff in there. Alot of it, not my style I was most interested in the pine garlands with lights and pine cones. She had a couple of Black Santa Clauses and Angels that I liked. As I was going through the stuff some of the names and faces of my neigbors started going through my head. I thought to myself... "How funny would it be to wake up and find extra christmas decorations in your yard and not know where it came from?" It cracked me up. The ideah was just funny and ghetto enough for me to be able to pull off.
Oh, don't worry, I'm safe in bloggin, my neigborhood doesn't blog really. Most of them say... "what's a blog." I probably won't be found out until weeks after Christmas. By then it'll be packed up and put in the storage for them to display next year. Actually Monday I did a Ghetto Elf Drop to 3 neigbors. I've passed their homes everyday and although they've added decorations to their yards, the one's I've added are still where I've left them. Soo Funny! I can't wait to hear the reactions from the neigbors through out the season.
It's going to be hilarious when people start talking and noticing. And even if they don't notice, Then I have a little Secret with God.... which is sometimes the way I like it best.
Now Go out and do some Ghetto Elfing yourselves!
November 30, 2008
It's The MOST Interesting Time Of The Year!
For the next 9 days, I'm a twin. I happens this time every year. I could use that next time someone says "tell us something interesting about your self." I can say "I'm a twin 12 days out of the year!
My sister and I are 11 months apart. And there's a 12 day span when we're both the same age. Does anyone care to ask u our ages any other time of the year?
*SIGH* Nope!
After all these years I don't even care to elaborate anymore. When people say "Oh! Twins!" I just say, nope she's having a birthday in a few days and I'm not. It's fun to watch them figure it out.
Here's a Kicker! Growing up there were two brothers we knew. They were part time twins also, one brother was a day older than my sister and the other brother was a day older than me. We went to the same Jr and High School. I wonder if our moms were in the same hospital? That woulda been cool. I know the older one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class and then us 2 younger one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class. Then my family moved away but we ended up in the same schools after 6th grade.
K, so My birthday was the day after Thanksgiving this year. I spent it camping out at best buy so I could purchase this groovy lap top w/printer for 375$ That, my friends is a bargain! And it was a fun night. (you can read about it on my other blog: http://www.ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/ )
I got home about 6:45 am and slept almost til noon. I was awakened by a phone call... My neice was in Labor! They were all going to come here for the weekend but instead stayed in and behold: a little neice was born on my birthday :)
That's way cool but it's also the icing on the cake! I had a nephew born on my birthday 14 years ago. Oh, and I was born on my cousin Paul Warfield's 28th birthday. You know he was an NFL wide reciever with the 1972 Miami Dolphins world Champions.
My sister is a little bitter. She says I'm greedy and selfish with family being born on my same day. I don't think so. Now if they were ALL left-handed like me.... THAT would be greedy and selfish. HA! I have 2 cousins who are left-handed like me and their mom and I favor each other. You can defineately tell we're related. lol.
I did have a neice come close to my sister's birthday. But she decided to come 3 days early and was born on my sister's roomates birthday instead. Another neice was born on her mama's birthday (My sister in law's.) That seriously cracks me up, sister can't get a break.
I also get all the breaks when we go out around our birthdays. Typically we used to go to Vegas the first weekend in December which is the weekend between our birthdays. But I would get ALL the breaks: Free meals, slot machine jackpots, finding money on the floor and in ash trays. Oh I don't gamble anymore but I've been pretty fortunate when I did. I would never spend more than $40. When that was gone I was done. The thing is, It was never gone. I'd spend $2 on Nickels and win $50. Put my $40 in my pocket and play with 10$ . Turn that into $100 on the dollar poker machine, Pocket half of that, then spend another $5 and go win another $60 in Nickels again, then pocket half of that and go spend $10 in quarters and win another $300 on that.
*SIGH* GAMBLING IS EVIL, DON'T DO IT! Besides, your friends and family will turn on you when you keep winning and they don't. I'm proud to say I haven't gambled the last 3 times I've gone and it's been just as great of time. Maybe it's just birthday luck? Naw, I have a system. It works. Cuz when I taught it to my sister's roomate, she turned $20 in quarters into like 750$ in quarters.
*SIGH* Gambling is evil don't do it!
For the most part having a birthday this close to 2 holidays with a sister's brithday so close, its kinda sucks. Ok it REALLY sucks. Most people are out of town for the holidays, students are rushing back to take finals before christmas. People are shopping like crazy, or in a turkey coma still or they've just plain forgotten. But I make the most of it. I am finding ways to make it interesting and have learned how to enjoy it!
My poor sister though. Hey if anyone out there has a kid on December 9th, let me know. lol
Happy Holidays !
My sister and I are 11 months apart. And there's a 12 day span when we're both the same age. Does anyone care to ask u our ages any other time of the year?
*SIGH* Nope!
After all these years I don't even care to elaborate anymore. When people say "Oh! Twins!" I just say, nope she's having a birthday in a few days and I'm not. It's fun to watch them figure it out.
Here's a Kicker! Growing up there were two brothers we knew. They were part time twins also, one brother was a day older than my sister and the other brother was a day older than me. We went to the same Jr and High School. I wonder if our moms were in the same hospital? That woulda been cool. I know the older one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class and then us 2 younger one's were in the same kindergarden and first grade class. Then my family moved away but we ended up in the same schools after 6th grade.
K, so My birthday was the day after Thanksgiving this year. I spent it camping out at best buy so I could purchase this groovy lap top w/printer for 375$ That, my friends is a bargain! And it was a fun night. (you can read about it on my other blog: http://www.ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/ )
I got home about 6:45 am and slept almost til noon. I was awakened by a phone call... My neice was in Labor! They were all going to come here for the weekend but instead stayed in and behold: a little neice was born on my birthday :)
That's way cool but it's also the icing on the cake! I had a nephew born on my birthday 14 years ago. Oh, and I was born on my cousin Paul Warfield's 28th birthday. You know he was an NFL wide reciever with the 1972 Miami Dolphins world Champions.
My sister is a little bitter. She says I'm greedy and selfish with family being born on my same day. I don't think so. Now if they were ALL left-handed like me.... THAT would be greedy and selfish. HA! I have 2 cousins who are left-handed like me and their mom and I favor each other. You can defineately tell we're related. lol.
I did have a neice come close to my sister's birthday. But she decided to come 3 days early and was born on my sister's roomates birthday instead. Another neice was born on her mama's birthday (My sister in law's.) That seriously cracks me up, sister can't get a break.
I also get all the breaks when we go out around our birthdays. Typically we used to go to Vegas the first weekend in December which is the weekend between our birthdays. But I would get ALL the breaks: Free meals, slot machine jackpots, finding money on the floor and in ash trays. Oh I don't gamble anymore but I've been pretty fortunate when I did. I would never spend more than $40. When that was gone I was done. The thing is, It was never gone. I'd spend $2 on Nickels and win $50. Put my $40 in my pocket and play with 10$ . Turn that into $100 on the dollar poker machine, Pocket half of that, then spend another $5 and go win another $60 in Nickels again, then pocket half of that and go spend $10 in quarters and win another $300 on that.
*SIGH* GAMBLING IS EVIL, DON'T DO IT! Besides, your friends and family will turn on you when you keep winning and they don't. I'm proud to say I haven't gambled the last 3 times I've gone and it's been just as great of time. Maybe it's just birthday luck? Naw, I have a system. It works. Cuz when I taught it to my sister's roomate, she turned $20 in quarters into like 750$ in quarters.
*SIGH* Gambling is evil don't do it!
For the most part having a birthday this close to 2 holidays with a sister's brithday so close, its kinda sucks. Ok it REALLY sucks. Most people are out of town for the holidays, students are rushing back to take finals before christmas. People are shopping like crazy, or in a turkey coma still or they've just plain forgotten. But I make the most of it. I am finding ways to make it interesting and have learned how to enjoy it!
My poor sister though. Hey if anyone out there has a kid on December 9th, let me know. lol
Happy Holidays !
November 24, 2008
Much To Be Thankful For!
Currently, I'm unemployed, recovering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which has my memory scattered on some days and I forget things more that I'd like to admit. I'm no longer engaged but working things out, I have a level II sprained MCL with another 4 months in a leg brace and physical therapy. Can't keep my days straight, and get tired way too easily. This has been going on for for the last 5 1/2 months.
I am so grateful. SO GRATEFUL! All these experiences has given me the opportunity to be served. It has shown me the Gospel of Jesus Christ in action. I've recieved much love and care from so many friends, even strangers. One of the greatest securities is to know that you can show up amongst friends in any condition and know you will be well taken care of.
I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to reconnect with that boy who captured my heart in high school and spend time with him and his family in my hometown. I'm grateful for the opportunity to rebuild the friendship...and the joy it brings me.
I'm grateful for the patience of those around me. For their understanding of my state of mind, and my sometimes less than par attitude. And for their continued love and understanding.
I'm grateful for the gifts of Tolerance, Patience, Wisdom, Forgiveness, Knowlege, Empathy, Concern, and Peace. I know those around me have been blessed with an overabundance of these things for my benefit.
I'm grateful for prayer and the knowledge that I can talk my Heavenly Father and KNOW that he hears my cries and will answer my prayers. I'm grateful to know that in all my wrong doings he still wants me to succeed. He will meet me where I am in my time of need and give me the tools the endure whatever trials he places before me. I am grateful for trials and the refiner's fire they bring me through.
I'm grateful for my freedoms. Regardless of what people think of our Government we live in a country where we really do have the opportunity to succeed beyond measures of any other country. I'm grateful for government leaders, church leaders, leaders of large and small corporations that work to keep this country moving. What other country is the world is so grate that thousands of people are rushing to enter each day?
I'm Grateful for the Word of God and Scripture. Not must my scriptures but any good books that promote the righteous building up of the Kingdom of God. I'm grateful for anything that brings man closer to God the Father and his son Jesus Christ.
I'm grateful for a pioneering spirit! Hard times are soon ahead. I'm grateful for the ablility and skills I've learned in knowing how to function w/o the modern conveniences if need be. What a STRANG thing to be thankful for, huh? I'm VERY grateful I know how to be poor and live in humble circumstances when needed. If you are prepared you shall not fear.
I am grateful for the gift of being satisfied with my needs being taken care of. I'm not really interested in the latest and greatest tool, gadget or article of clothings this year. I am satisfied and finding joy in that satisfied. This doesn't by any means that I don't look for ways to improve and strive towards it. It does mean that throughout all these things going on around me, I know that I am a daughter of THE MOST HIGH GOD, and I trust he has a plan for me. I know God my Father has my situation all worked out and in my struggle to learn those things I need to get to that place, I know the journey is for MY benefit and I will find joy and gratitude in the journey regardless of how difficult it may be.
Many of us have reasons to be down and depressed this holiday season. I promise you that whatever you choose to focus on is what will grow. If you praise that which is good and magnify it, you will be ever blessed with it more great abundance. If you seek out those things which are down, depressing and negative, you will find yourself surrounded in more of it.
I testify to you all, That God is our Father. Jesus is our Savior. And men are that they should have joy. And that Joy is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ which has been restored to the earth.
The Lord loves us the same as he loved the early inhabitants of the world. The Lord gave them Prophets to guide them. Althought we are in periless times he does not love us any less. He would not leave us prophetless today. God Loves us so he sent his son, who organized his church upon the earth. HE IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW.
Through my struggles I am here to day that I am grateful for all that God has given me and I will not wait until my struggles are few to show that gratitude and testify of the Love and Goodness of The Lord.
I hope this holiday season, no matter what you find yourself in the midst of that we will all look around and see the great and many gifts in our lives and ever look for reasons to be grateful.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
some of you really liked last years message so here's the link to it, enjoy: http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/2007/11/happy-thanksgiving.html
I am so grateful. SO GRATEFUL! All these experiences has given me the opportunity to be served. It has shown me the Gospel of Jesus Christ in action. I've recieved much love and care from so many friends, even strangers. One of the greatest securities is to know that you can show up amongst friends in any condition and know you will be well taken care of.
I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to reconnect with that boy who captured my heart in high school and spend time with him and his family in my hometown. I'm grateful for the opportunity to rebuild the friendship...and the joy it brings me.
I'm grateful for the patience of those around me. For their understanding of my state of mind, and my sometimes less than par attitude. And for their continued love and understanding.
I'm grateful for the gifts of Tolerance, Patience, Wisdom, Forgiveness, Knowlege, Empathy, Concern, and Peace. I know those around me have been blessed with an overabundance of these things for my benefit.
I'm grateful for prayer and the knowledge that I can talk my Heavenly Father and KNOW that he hears my cries and will answer my prayers. I'm grateful to know that in all my wrong doings he still wants me to succeed. He will meet me where I am in my time of need and give me the tools the endure whatever trials he places before me. I am grateful for trials and the refiner's fire they bring me through.
I'm grateful for my freedoms. Regardless of what people think of our Government we live in a country where we really do have the opportunity to succeed beyond measures of any other country. I'm grateful for government leaders, church leaders, leaders of large and small corporations that work to keep this country moving. What other country is the world is so grate that thousands of people are rushing to enter each day?
I'm Grateful for the Word of God and Scripture. Not must my scriptures but any good books that promote the righteous building up of the Kingdom of God. I'm grateful for anything that brings man closer to God the Father and his son Jesus Christ.
I'm grateful for a pioneering spirit! Hard times are soon ahead. I'm grateful for the ablility and skills I've learned in knowing how to function w/o the modern conveniences if need be. What a STRANG thing to be thankful for, huh? I'm VERY grateful I know how to be poor and live in humble circumstances when needed. If you are prepared you shall not fear.
I am grateful for the gift of being satisfied with my needs being taken care of. I'm not really interested in the latest and greatest tool, gadget or article of clothings this year. I am satisfied and finding joy in that satisfied. This doesn't by any means that I don't look for ways to improve and strive towards it. It does mean that throughout all these things going on around me, I know that I am a daughter of THE MOST HIGH GOD, and I trust he has a plan for me. I know God my Father has my situation all worked out and in my struggle to learn those things I need to get to that place, I know the journey is for MY benefit and I will find joy and gratitude in the journey regardless of how difficult it may be.
Many of us have reasons to be down and depressed this holiday season. I promise you that whatever you choose to focus on is what will grow. If you praise that which is good and magnify it, you will be ever blessed with it more great abundance. If you seek out those things which are down, depressing and negative, you will find yourself surrounded in more of it.
I testify to you all, That God is our Father. Jesus is our Savior. And men are that they should have joy. And that Joy is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ which has been restored to the earth.
The Lord loves us the same as he loved the early inhabitants of the world. The Lord gave them Prophets to guide them. Althought we are in periless times he does not love us any less. He would not leave us prophetless today. God Loves us so he sent his son, who organized his church upon the earth. HE IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW.
Through my struggles I am here to day that I am grateful for all that God has given me and I will not wait until my struggles are few to show that gratitude and testify of the Love and Goodness of The Lord.
I hope this holiday season, no matter what you find yourself in the midst of that we will all look around and see the great and many gifts in our lives and ever look for reasons to be grateful.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
some of you really liked last years message so here's the link to it, enjoy: http://ablackmormongirl.blogspot.com/2007/11/happy-thanksgiving.html
November 07, 2008
I LIKE SARA PALIN
I really really do like the woman. (She can bagg a carabou!)Because in some ways I can relate to her. I'm not sure I know all the countries and continents. Actually in that regard I don't think she's that different from A LOT of Americans. Think about it. She didn't get to be Governor of Alaska for being an idiot. And who am I to insult an entire state by assuming such? I think she's got way more in common with the average person than McCain or Obama. Not to say that these two men aren't brilliant in whatever it is they're good at.
Palin is not that much different then most of us. Went to about 3 or 4 different colleges... one in her native state, one in Hawaii and 2 in Idaho. I know alot of my friends can't tell the difference in a country and a continent.
She wasn't only a beauty queen but she graduated in journalism and was a sports broadcaster. Isn't that what every guy wants, a beauty queen who's into sports? She not only helps with the family fishing business. She ran for city council... and won. She ran for city mayor... and won. And she ran for Governor... and WON. So Sara is definitely doing something right.
Not only all of that, she's been married for 20 years, is a hockey mom, had a kid this year so that's a total of 5 and they all have really cool names: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. Trig is the baby and has down syndrome. Her oldest was recently deployed with the military. Her 18 year old is pregnant and about to get married. Who CAN'T relate to much of that? And let's face it the woman has really good fashion sense. I dare say she has more in common with the average American than Obama or McCain.
She wasn't only a beauty queen but she graduated in journalism and was a sports broadcaster. Isn't that what every guy wants, a beauty queen who's into sports? She not only helps with the family fishing business. She ran for city council... and won. She ran for city mayor... and won. And she ran for Governor... and WON. So Sara is definitely doing something right.
Not only all of that, she's been married for 20 years, is a hockey mom, had a kid this year so that's a total of 5 and they all have really cool names: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. Trig is the baby and has down syndrome. Her oldest was recently deployed with the military. Her 18 year old is pregnant and about to get married. Who CAN'T relate to much of that? And let's face it the woman has really good fashion sense. I dare say she has more in common with the average American than Obama or McCain.
Does this mean she's fit to be president or vice president? Yes and No. She kept the names and phone numbers of the people in the city she lived and called them to ask "how's the city doing?" I like those kinds of politics she was in touch with the people who elected her to serve. Just a regular girl next door. Which is probably why she's getting such a bad wrap. We say way the problem with politics is politicians. And then we say the problem with Sara is she's too much like the average American. She made fun of herself, defended herself and rolled with every punch she was throw and even threw a few herself. She can hang out in my culdesac anytime.
We don't know what we want in this country so we poo poo any and everything.
I believe if Sara Palin lived on my block we would be good friends. Cleaning fish and bottling jam, talking about kids and sports whilst she sipping on a diet Dr pepper and me an orange crush.
Go ahead and tease her if you want but I think there's something about the girl that didn't get a fair shake.
Yeah, I really do think she's a cool woman. (That doesn't mean I want her as my president or vice president at this time.) But I'll take her as a neighbor and friend to just hang with on a regular basis.
I hope we haven't seen the last of her.
We don't know what we want in this country so we poo poo any and everything.
I believe if Sara Palin lived on my block we would be good friends. Cleaning fish and bottling jam, talking about kids and sports whilst she sipping on a diet Dr pepper and me an orange crush.
Go ahead and tease her if you want but I think there's something about the girl that didn't get a fair shake.
Yeah, I really do think she's a cool woman. (That doesn't mean I want her as my president or vice president at this time.) But I'll take her as a neighbor and friend to just hang with on a regular basis.
I hope we haven't seen the last of her.
OH NO HE DIDN'T
I'm listening to the first press Conference for Barack Obama.
They asked the man about the dog he's getting his daughters. He wants a hypo-allergenic and "a mutt just like me." Is what he said.
The President elect just referred to himself as a "MUTT." WHAT THE CRAP????
I'm not sure I like that. Y'all know how in parts of the black community we have people who call themselves "Negro" and "Nigga" and things like that? But someone else do it, there's hell to pay.
Just so we're clear, I don't like it. I know if I use those words, society takes it as being ok or permission for them to do the same. I fear President Obama just opened that door. Yeah, yeah, I know you gotta be able to laugh are yourself and have a sense of humor. And boy if anyone needs it he sure does. So I guess maybe I'm more shocked than anything. I'm trying to think back in history and see if I can remember anyone else referring to themselves as a redneck, or adulterer, or hick or anything of the sort. There probably is.
Anyway... I guess I wasn't expecting it. Or maybe I was, but not so soon? I dunno.
But just so we're clear..... Just because the President Elect refers to HIMSELF as a mutt..... don't give you permission to refer to it.
Capiche? ;)
They asked the man about the dog he's getting his daughters. He wants a hypo-allergenic and "a mutt just like me." Is what he said.
The President elect just referred to himself as a "MUTT." WHAT THE CRAP????
I'm not sure I like that. Y'all know how in parts of the black community we have people who call themselves "Negro" and "Nigga" and things like that? But someone else do it, there's hell to pay.
Just so we're clear, I don't like it. I know if I use those words, society takes it as being ok or permission for them to do the same. I fear President Obama just opened that door. Yeah, yeah, I know you gotta be able to laugh are yourself and have a sense of humor. And boy if anyone needs it he sure does. So I guess maybe I'm more shocked than anything. I'm trying to think back in history and see if I can remember anyone else referring to themselves as a redneck, or adulterer, or hick or anything of the sort. There probably is.
Anyway... I guess I wasn't expecting it. Or maybe I was, but not so soon? I dunno.
But just so we're clear..... Just because the President Elect refers to HIMSELF as a mutt..... don't give you permission to refer to it.
Capiche? ;)
November 04, 2008
KISS ME, I VOTED!!!!
TODAY: November 4, 2008
Signed,
Single Christian Black American Mama (not affiliated with any political party)
That's right folks! Plant one on my lips, Kiss my cheeks or kiss my butt i don't care! Got up this morning, put on my all american uniform.... blue jeans, gray t-shirt with 3 red and blue stars and the white letters U.S.A, a blue hoodie with the word KALAMAZOO scripted acrossed it. Brushed my teeth, bumped my hair, put on some lip gloss and drove a mile down the street to the firehouse. Greeted by friends, neigbors and other members of my community and casted my vote for the President of the United States!
What an honor to be part of this historic election! What an honor to be part of the process. What a blessing to be able to stand up today at the forefront of my generations and blood lines in honor of those relatives who couldn't vote because they were female or black and couldn't have a voice for whatever reason back in their day!
Today, November 4, 2008 The ground is wet, the clouds are sprinking and the air is cold. I smell the winds of change in the air. If you've come here to find out who I voted for, you'll be disappointed. I remember one as a little girl asking my mama who she voted for and you know what she said to me? She said
"That's between me and The Lord."
I've always gone by that rule and have never disclosed who I've voted for. I don't see a reason to start today. I will say as far as I was concerned I had Baracknophobia and a McCain in the butt. But last night again I went over the issues from both parties (that issues I could find, that is) and made a choice. Today I ROCKED that choice.
This is the greatest country in the world regardless of who is and will be running it. It's citizens doing their civic duty that make it that way.
This was my daughter's first election. She rocked her vote early, as most of the younger americans are doing. Her feelings on the issue are this and I QUOTE:
"Either way, the country is going down the drain... or down the drain further. Who ever wins is going to lead us closer to the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ and THAT'S what I'm excited for! I can't wait to see how the 2nd coming all plays out, I'm so excited for that!"
Yeah, she took me for loop for a minute as well. And I took some pride in the fact the we're taught... "IF YOU ARE PREPARED, YOU SHALL NOT FEAR."
We are facing perilous and troublesome times ahead. And if we are prepared, we will not fear.
And for those who have said....There wi
ll be a black man in office or a woman in office when hell freezes over..... guess what? The weather forecast is calling for snow by tomorrow morning.
Either way the freezing process has begun.
What an honor to be part of this historic election! What an honor to be part of the process. What a blessing to be able to stand up today at the forefront of my generations and blood lines in honor of those relatives who couldn't vote because they were female or black and couldn't have a voice for whatever reason back in their day!
Today, November 4, 2008 The ground is wet, the clouds are sprinking and the air is cold. I smell the winds of change in the air. If you've come here to find out who I voted for, you'll be disappointed. I remember one as a little girl asking my mama who she voted for and you know what she said to me? She said
"That's between me and The Lord."
I've always gone by that rule and have never disclosed who I've voted for. I don't see a reason to start today. I will say as far as I was concerned I had Baracknophobia and a McCain in the butt. But last night again I went over the issues from both parties (that issues I could find, that is) and made a choice. Today I ROCKED that choice.
This is the greatest country in the world regardless of who is and will be running it. It's citizens doing their civic duty that make it that way.
This was my daughter's first election. She rocked her vote early, as most of the younger americans are doing. Her feelings on the issue are this and I QUOTE:
"Either way, the country is going down the drain... or down the drain further. Who ever wins is going to lead us closer to the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ and THAT'S what I'm excited for! I can't wait to see how the 2nd coming all plays out, I'm so excited for that!"
Yeah, she took me for loop for a minute as well. And I took some pride in the fact the we're taught... "IF YOU ARE PREPARED, YOU SHALL NOT FEAR."
We are facing perilous and troublesome times ahead. And if we are prepared, we will not fear.
And for those who have said....There wi
ll be a black man in office or a woman in office when hell freezes over..... guess what? The weather forecast is calling for snow by tomorrow morning.Either way the freezing process has begun.
Signed,
Single Christian Black American Mama (not affiliated with any political party)
November 02, 2008
Raising Teen Agers In Todays World.
I was asked to be the guest speaker and on a panal about single parent's raising teenagers in todays world.
It's turned into quite a lengthy blog. But I'm pleased at the outcome of what I'll be speaking on.
Here's the link to it, Hope you enjoy it and will give me lots of feedback, I could sure use it.
Thanks
http://oldschoolmormonmama.blogspot.com/
It's turned into quite a lengthy blog. But I'm pleased at the outcome of what I'll be speaking on.
Here's the link to it, Hope you enjoy it and will give me lots of feedback, I could sure use it.
Thanks
http://oldschoolmormonmama.blogspot.com/
October 30, 2008
Perfectly Happy Going Without
Is it a woman thing? The more I talk t women the more I realize that women are more than happy to go without having certain needs of their own met but will work tirelessly to fulfill someone elses needs. Have we been conditioned to be happy going without and to find our fillfullment in serving others? I know I tend to feel guilt and selfishness when I focus on my needs. I often feel bad about asking for what I need or usually have learned a way to fullfill it on my own without the help of others.
DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY? Anyone? I was able to go to a women's conference last spring. I didnt want to go, some friends talked me into going. And the discussion came around to this subject. The meeting turned out to be so uplifting. because one by one the women started to share experiences such as this. Turns out just about EVERYONE was feeling this way.
I took things a bit further and spoke to alot of my male friends. I was very shocked to find that very few of them felt this way. I think there were about 3 who said they experient it on a regular basis. But most guys don't really discuss these types of things most of the time either. Of the 12 male friends I asked, only 3 really experienced this.
What is it about the majority of women that we feel this need to be more concerned about everyone but ourselves? Part of it is the nature of being a mother and wife I'm sure. Especially most single mothers. The reason I single out single mothers is this: Most single mothers have their kids 24/7 with the exclusion of a couple holidays and everyother weekend. I've got a few single father friends who SAY they would love to have their child fulltime. I'm not sure they realize the impatience they have when they do have them for just the weekend. This doesn't mean they don't love them, because they do. Doesn't mean they don't miss them because they do. It doesn't mean they're sad to see them go when they leave because they are. But there is usually a sigh of relief that comes with getting their space and time and focus back on themselves.
I dunno, that's just my opinion from what I see in those around me.
Back to being so willing to go without. I was talking to my daughter yesterday. She's been in a funk this week and has decided not to go to a huge well known university halloween activity because she's afraid she'll put everyone else in a funk. A part of me cheers her on for her being such an unselfish child. She really is, she was never really greedy or one to get stuff just because she could or because it was free. She was always more concerned with someone else's needs above her own wants. But in doing so she's lost the balance of taking care of her own needs and wants. I'm not sure she really learned that balance, I know her mother hasn't. She voiced her guilt and discomfort in doing so. And being away at college she's figuring out what happens quickly if she doesn't learn to take care of herself as well as others.
I'm not sure how we go on this subject but I found myself in a dicussion about being co-dependant. This was a while back but whenever the subject of self sacrifice and going without comes up I remember the conversation about being co-dependant.
In our discussion we decided it was another imbalance of self love.
Too much self love brings on greed and lack of self awarness and flaws. It kind of mimicks too little self love which brings on lack of self respect and confidence and that can manifest itself as arrogance .
Too littl self love brings on passivness and people pleasing. Always bending and breaking and giving in to other peoples demands regardless of how it makes us feel. Always pleasing the other person to insure their friendship and love.
Well that's not good either. So what is the healthy balance of self love? What is the magic solution to finding a healthy balance of give and take?
In thinking this through it really is quite simple: Love thy neigbors AS thyself. As I have loved you, love one another.
Not more than yourself. Not less than yourself. AS... meaning AS MUCH AS... yourself.
It really does make sense.
If I'm taking care of you as much as I'm taking care of myself, and you're taking care of me as much as you're taking care of yourself, then we are both hopefully well taken care of.
I also heard... on a commercial ... someone actually said "if we all take care of each other then the world would be taken care of." Is it really this simple? Can it really be this simple? I believe it can be. I've seen it, and have experienced it in my community this summer. And when people realize they can put aside their wants for a little while and step up and provide a need for someone else it becomes very fullfilling for everyone.
We also need to be very careful about our own willingness to give. Giving can backfire if you enjoy doing it. Because people will expect and assume you to always have the ability to do it. So when you do take a mind to take care of your own needs, it becomes a problem especially in relationships. We have to be careful not to bend and adjust so much, that we lose ourselves and aren't getting what we need.
It's very loving to be able to take care of yourself. It puts you in a better position to take care of others. It actually makes you happier with others and more tolerable.
I think it's also very important to realize that more times than not, we are all on both sides of finding that balance. Our ability to talk and express it to each other with proper respect and undersanding to each other will help us all find that balance.
DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY? Anyone? I was able to go to a women's conference last spring. I didnt want to go, some friends talked me into going. And the discussion came around to this subject. The meeting turned out to be so uplifting. because one by one the women started to share experiences such as this. Turns out just about EVERYONE was feeling this way.
I took things a bit further and spoke to alot of my male friends. I was very shocked to find that very few of them felt this way. I think there were about 3 who said they experient it on a regular basis. But most guys don't really discuss these types of things most of the time either. Of the 12 male friends I asked, only 3 really experienced this.
What is it about the majority of women that we feel this need to be more concerned about everyone but ourselves? Part of it is the nature of being a mother and wife I'm sure. Especially most single mothers. The reason I single out single mothers is this: Most single mothers have their kids 24/7 with the exclusion of a couple holidays and everyother weekend. I've got a few single father friends who SAY they would love to have their child fulltime. I'm not sure they realize the impatience they have when they do have them for just the weekend. This doesn't mean they don't love them, because they do. Doesn't mean they don't miss them because they do. It doesn't mean they're sad to see them go when they leave because they are. But there is usually a sigh of relief that comes with getting their space and time and focus back on themselves.
I dunno, that's just my opinion from what I see in those around me.
Back to being so willing to go without. I was talking to my daughter yesterday. She's been in a funk this week and has decided not to go to a huge well known university halloween activity because she's afraid she'll put everyone else in a funk. A part of me cheers her on for her being such an unselfish child. She really is, she was never really greedy or one to get stuff just because she could or because it was free. She was always more concerned with someone else's needs above her own wants. But in doing so she's lost the balance of taking care of her own needs and wants. I'm not sure she really learned that balance, I know her mother hasn't. She voiced her guilt and discomfort in doing so. And being away at college she's figuring out what happens quickly if she doesn't learn to take care of herself as well as others.
I'm not sure how we go on this subject but I found myself in a dicussion about being co-dependant. This was a while back but whenever the subject of self sacrifice and going without comes up I remember the conversation about being co-dependant.
In our discussion we decided it was another imbalance of self love.
Too much self love brings on greed and lack of self awarness and flaws. It kind of mimicks too little self love which brings on lack of self respect and confidence and that can manifest itself as arrogance .
Too littl self love brings on passivness and people pleasing. Always bending and breaking and giving in to other peoples demands regardless of how it makes us feel. Always pleasing the other person to insure their friendship and love.
Well that's not good either. So what is the healthy balance of self love? What is the magic solution to finding a healthy balance of give and take?
In thinking this through it really is quite simple: Love thy neigbors AS thyself. As I have loved you, love one another.
Not more than yourself. Not less than yourself. AS... meaning AS MUCH AS... yourself.
It really does make sense.
If I'm taking care of you as much as I'm taking care of myself, and you're taking care of me as much as you're taking care of yourself, then we are both hopefully well taken care of.
I also heard... on a commercial ... someone actually said "if we all take care of each other then the world would be taken care of." Is it really this simple? Can it really be this simple? I believe it can be. I've seen it, and have experienced it in my community this summer. And when people realize they can put aside their wants for a little while and step up and provide a need for someone else it becomes very fullfilling for everyone.
We also need to be very careful about our own willingness to give. Giving can backfire if you enjoy doing it. Because people will expect and assume you to always have the ability to do it. So when you do take a mind to take care of your own needs, it becomes a problem especially in relationships. We have to be careful not to bend and adjust so much, that we lose ourselves and aren't getting what we need.
It's very loving to be able to take care of yourself. It puts you in a better position to take care of others. It actually makes you happier with others and more tolerable.
I think it's also very important to realize that more times than not, we are all on both sides of finding that balance. Our ability to talk and express it to each other with proper respect and undersanding to each other will help us all find that balance.
October 21, 2008
You Can Laugh At Me If You Wanna.....
BUT I..... AM.... AWESOME! No, seriously I am! GIVE IT UP FOR ME!
I made 3 gallons of homemade laundry soap. If you know me, you know I like making, baking, caking, creating whatever. And when I find something new to make, I take a recipe or instructions, analyze it, make it my own and then obsess and make tons of it because it' so exciting and new to me. This is no different. If I had containers I'd me making different colors and scents of the stuff. As it is I only made 1 batch and it'll probably last all winter long.
It's not that I can't afford laundry soap cuz I can. But shoot if I can make something at home for pennies of the cost why the heck not? It's like a fun science project that you can use on almost a daily basis and you can personalize it with different scents or no scent at all if you want.
It works so well I'm thinking of selling the stuff. It can be made into laundry liquid or powder so it covers all the basis. You can make it a family project. I can't wait to send it to my daughter in college so I can save her come $ too.
K. so I know you're anxious to get started on your own batch so I'll share the recipe and instructions. I promise you've never be so anxious and giddy to do laundry in ALL you life. You Pioneering generations that walked the earth hundreds of years before you did will gather as angels and sing praises to your good ol' fashioned old school roots. And this soap is as Eco and environmentally safe as YOU make it.
Let's get started!
The ingredients you'll need are quite simple:
2 bars of soap
(Use whatever you have on hand or whatever you like. Keep in mind this will also be what your laundry will smell like. I had some "coast" hanging around so I used that. All you eco friendly and Greenies out there, go find yourself an environmental friendly bar of soap that is fat or vegitable based and not petrolium based.)
1/2 cup of Borax
( This is a natural mineral mineral: , also known as sodium borate, sodium tetraborate, or disodium tetraborate, is an important boron compound, a mineral, and a salt of boric acid. It is usually a white powder consisting of soft colorless crystals that dissolve easily in water.) Although it is a natural mineral becareful and mindful of breathing too much of it is, it can be irritating.
1 & 1/2 cups of Washing Soda (this is usually found in the laundry isle in the Arm and Hammer box. it actually looks like a box of baking soda on STEROIDS.)
*Pppppst! I have a side note....* Notice above I mentioned washing soda and not baking soda? They are 2 different things. Washing soda is Sodium Carbonate. Baking soda is Sodium bi-carbonate. No, this doesn't meant it's corbonate that "swings both ways", it just means it a different compound. If you go to the website of the yellow box with bicept and mallet they'll tell you the 2 aren't interchangeable. And they aren't. You CANNOT use washing powder for baking, cooking or for any ingestion at all. However they do not tell you that you can, indeed, use baking soda for cleaning and external needs. I thing it's because they want you to go out and purchase their other product but that's just me. I bring this up to say that You can use baking soda is this recipe if you can't find washing soda and it does a might fine job as well!
3 gallons of good ole hot tap water
one 5 gallon bucket
First thing you wanna do is put 4 cups of water into on the stove and bring to just under boiling.
Then fill your 5 gallon bucket with 3 gallons of hot tap water ( you can boil this water as well but I haven't found it necessary)
While your 4 cups of water is heating you'll want to grate your soap into small slivers. You can use a potato peeler, cheese gater, or cut it up and then add to your food processor or blender for smaller pieces.
Then slowly add the soap into the pot of hot water and start to dissolve it. Make sure you're stirring the soapy water so it doesn't boil over. It can boil, but you dont want it to boil over. Stir soapy water mixture until all the soap is dissolved.
When all the soap is dissolved, add that mixture to the bucket of hot water and stir. Then add the Washing/baking Soda and stir that until dissolved. Then add the borax and stir until dissolved. When it's all mixed together... in the words of Ronco... "set it and forget it." You'll want to let it cool, usually over night.
When you wake up the next morning you have this GLORIOUSLY sludgy gel that works just as well as the leading laundry detergents on the market.
Now My own variations:
I used coast because I had some, I like the smell and wanted to see if that's how it would smell. Also the color was of interest. I wanted to see if it would make blue laundry soap. It did. It's a pale light blue and that's ok. So just know if you use a yellow, pink or purple bar of soap, that's what color your detergent will be.
So what ever bar you use will be the scent and the color. ( I can't wait to use my pink morrocan oil scented caress bar next *wink*)
I also added a little salt (sodium) t0 the mix because we tend to have hard water and this breaks up mineral deposites that make colors dingy and allows the fabric to keep their dye fabrics longer.
Last but not least I added Tea tree oil into the hot water bucket. about 7-10 drops. I chose tea tree because I had it readily available and because winter is coming.
Tea tree oil has the following properties: it’s anti fungal, anti microbial and anti septic. It also has been historically known to aid in headache, and sinus relief. ( See I TOLD YOU I WAS AWESOME!)
Now for those of you who don't have a place to store 3 gallons or poo poo on liquid laundry detergent, I have not forgotten you! You will use the same recipe except omit the water.
So with your bar soap, you'll put it in the blender/food processor with the borax and Washing Soda. Place wet towel over the top of it to capture the dust from the blending of it. Blend it all together into a powder. Put the washing powder into a jar or zip lock baggie for easier space friendly storage. Use about 1/2 to 1 tablespoon per load.
Try it! And holla back at me on how it works for you.
I made 3 gallons of homemade laundry soap. If you know me, you know I like making, baking, caking, creating whatever. And when I find something new to make, I take a recipe or instructions, analyze it, make it my own and then obsess and make tons of it because it' so exciting and new to me. This is no different. If I had containers I'd me making different colors and scents of the stuff. As it is I only made 1 batch and it'll probably last all winter long.
It's not that I can't afford laundry soap cuz I can. But shoot if I can make something at home for pennies of the cost why the heck not? It's like a fun science project that you can use on almost a daily basis and you can personalize it with different scents or no scent at all if you want.
It works so well I'm thinking of selling the stuff. It can be made into laundry liquid or powder so it covers all the basis. You can make it a family project. I can't wait to send it to my daughter in college so I can save her come $ too.
K. so I know you're anxious to get started on your own batch so I'll share the recipe and instructions. I promise you've never be so anxious and giddy to do laundry in ALL you life. You Pioneering generations that walked the earth hundreds of years before you did will gather as angels and sing praises to your good ol' fashioned old school roots. And this soap is as Eco and environmentally safe as YOU make it.
Let's get started!
The ingredients you'll need are quite simple:
2 bars of soap
(Use whatever you have on hand or whatever you like. Keep in mind this will also be what your laundry will smell like. I had some "coast" hanging around so I used that. All you eco friendly and Greenies out there, go find yourself an environmental friendly bar of soap that is fat or vegitable based and not petrolium based.)
1/2 cup of Borax
( This is a natural mineral mineral: , also known as sodium borate, sodium tetraborate, or disodium tetraborate, is an important boron compound, a mineral, and a salt of boric acid. It is usually a white powder consisting of soft colorless crystals that dissolve easily in water.) Although it is a natural mineral becareful and mindful of breathing too much of it is, it can be irritating.
1 & 1/2 cups of Washing Soda (this is usually found in the laundry isle in the Arm and Hammer box. it actually looks like a box of baking soda on STEROIDS.)
*Pppppst! I have a side note....* Notice above I mentioned washing soda and not baking soda? They are 2 different things. Washing soda is Sodium Carbonate. Baking soda is Sodium bi-carbonate. No, this doesn't meant it's corbonate that "swings both ways", it just means it a different compound. If you go to the website of the yellow box with bicept and mallet they'll tell you the 2 aren't interchangeable. And they aren't. You CANNOT use washing powder for baking, cooking or for any ingestion at all. However they do not tell you that you can, indeed, use baking soda for cleaning and external needs. I thing it's because they want you to go out and purchase their other product but that's just me. I bring this up to say that You can use baking soda is this recipe if you can't find washing soda and it does a might fine job as well!
3 gallons of good ole hot tap water
one 5 gallon bucket
First thing you wanna do is put 4 cups of water into on the stove and bring to just under boiling.
Then fill your 5 gallon bucket with 3 gallons of hot tap water ( you can boil this water as well but I haven't found it necessary)
While your 4 cups of water is heating you'll want to grate your soap into small slivers. You can use a potato peeler, cheese gater, or cut it up and then add to your food processor or blender for smaller pieces.
Then slowly add the soap into the pot of hot water and start to dissolve it. Make sure you're stirring the soapy water so it doesn't boil over. It can boil, but you dont want it to boil over. Stir soapy water mixture until all the soap is dissolved.
When all the soap is dissolved, add that mixture to the bucket of hot water and stir. Then add the Washing/baking Soda and stir that until dissolved. Then add the borax and stir until dissolved. When it's all mixed together... in the words of Ronco... "set it and forget it." You'll want to let it cool, usually over night.
When you wake up the next morning you have this GLORIOUSLY sludgy gel that works just as well as the leading laundry detergents on the market.
Now My own variations:
I used coast because I had some, I like the smell and wanted to see if that's how it would smell. Also the color was of interest. I wanted to see if it would make blue laundry soap. It did. It's a pale light blue and that's ok. So just know if you use a yellow, pink or purple bar of soap, that's what color your detergent will be.
So what ever bar you use will be the scent and the color. ( I can't wait to use my pink morrocan oil scented caress bar next *wink*)
I also added a little salt (sodium) t0 the mix because we tend to have hard water and this breaks up mineral deposites that make colors dingy and allows the fabric to keep their dye fabrics longer.
Last but not least I added Tea tree oil into the hot water bucket. about 7-10 drops. I chose tea tree because I had it readily available and because winter is coming.
Tea tree oil has the following properties: it’s anti fungal, anti microbial and anti septic. It also has been historically known to aid in headache, and sinus relief. ( See I TOLD YOU I WAS AWESOME!)
Now for those of you who don't have a place to store 3 gallons or poo poo on liquid laundry detergent, I have not forgotten you! You will use the same recipe except omit the water.
So with your bar soap, you'll put it in the blender/food processor with the borax and Washing Soda. Place wet towel over the top of it to capture the dust from the blending of it. Blend it all together into a powder. Put the washing powder into a jar or zip lock baggie for easier space friendly storage. Use about 1/2 to 1 tablespoon per load.
Try it! And holla back at me on how it works for you.
October 08, 2008
Tis a BOOOtiful Seezun!
turned to my sister a couple days ago and said.... "I wanna get the house prepared for the fall!"
To which she said.. "OK, we'll start tomorrow." Tomorrow was yesterday. So I'm looking at fall-ish and harvest type things... Pumkins, cornicopia's, indian corn and all that and she's looking at skulls and tombstones and other goulish type things.
Do you smell a conflict??????
Naw, you dont. We've decided to do the outside haunted and the inside fall harvest. So our residence are total opposites. I must say, the outside is a little creepy. Im going in thru the garage entrance so I don't have to pass the tombstones and the 1ft spider with the 3.5ft leg span I bought to put on the bush outside.
we've got blinking eye balls in the upstairs windows, a phantom with bloody hand prints in the front window. The face is lighted and fades in and out. we've got blinking skull lanterns in one of the trees and a grave stone beneath it and several other tombstones in the front yard. Then we've got a couple of sound and motion censor things that scream, howl and play organ music while lighting up every time someone walks by or a sound is loud enough.
We didn't start the process until after dark because we wanted it to appear as if it happened overnight. I few neigbors came out to hear what all the screams and yells were because i was dark. We asked them if the stuff was too loud, and they LOVED IT.
Skull Spider
New doorbell. Lights up, plays oregon music
Mildred the Spider
To which she said.. "OK, we'll start tomorrow." Tomorrow was yesterday. So I'm looking at fall-ish and harvest type things... Pumkins, cornicopia's, indian corn and all that and she's looking at skulls and tombstones and other goulish type things.
Do you smell a conflict??????
Naw, you dont. We've decided to do the outside haunted and the inside fall harvest. So our residence are total opposites. I must say, the outside is a little creepy. Im going in thru the garage entrance so I don't have to pass the tombstones and the 1ft spider with the 3.5ft leg span I bought to put on the bush outside.
we've got blinking eye balls in the upstairs windows, a phantom with bloody hand prints in the front window. The face is lighted and fades in and out. we've got blinking skull lanterns in one of the trees and a grave stone beneath it and several other tombstones in the front yard. Then we've got a couple of sound and motion censor things that scream, howl and play organ music while lighting up every time someone walks by or a sound is loud enough.
We didn't start the process until after dark because we wanted it to appear as if it happened overnight. I few neigbors came out to hear what all the screams and yells were because i was dark. We asked them if the stuff was too loud, and they LOVED IT.
Skull Spider
New doorbell. Lights up, plays oregon music
Mildred the Spider
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)