August 07, 2007

Putting the Puzzle Back Together Again.

What was that tornado that hit me in July? And is it coming back in August.
So most of you don't know this but I rec'd a Job offer and accepted it.
The Job: Customer Service/Sales Manager.
Salary: Twice my weekly income
Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia
Starting Date: August 20th.

I prayed long and hard about this job. I prayed about Relocating in my daughter's senior year. I prayed about leaving at fully vested job of 12 years. I prayed about where I should be compared to where I wanted to be and the people and places and situations I'd be leaving behind. I felt good about my decision. There was no right or wrong decision, that was the feeling and the answers I got as I studied every aspect out in my mind I would flourish in Utah or Virginia. I didn't feel good or bad about the decision. I stayed up nights agonizing. Running my cell phone battery out 3 times a day everyday for a week speaking with family and a couple friends. So I made the decision. Virginia Beach... HERE I COME!

Then all hell broke loose. Seriously everything around me started to crumble and fall apart and I could not understand why. At first I thought wow, I'm getting out while the getting is good! And the more I started to pack up and make arrangements for this and that and the worse things got. Then the contracts came for me to sign and I saw in the contracts that which was not discussed in my phone interviews. 30 month position. That's what... 2.5 years? Hmm...Why would i leave a job I've had for 12 years the city I've lived for 17 years to go work someplace else for only 2.5 years. I decided not to jump the gun... and maybe see if they can negotiate a 5 year contract... which they did.

What to do? What to do? I continued to pack things and while I was making up my mind.... again, the more I packed to move, the worse things got. It reminded me of when I was going to put my daughter up for adoption... and all hell broke loose. Things felt eerily the same. So I decided I needed to address the situation again. As I did I developed a new understanding of where I should be and what I should be doing.

I can say I'm a little disappointed about having a new adventure in a new place. But Utah is where I need to stay, at least for a little while longer. When I came to that realization....hell was bound back to its original state in my life. And I slept for the first time in about 2 weeks. Also... I lost sight of some goals I created earlier this year.. and occasions to fulfill them have all but fell in my lap and knocked me on the head and said... "hellloooooooo!"
( This year I had decided to read my scriptures each morning and had been getting up about 5:30 each morning to do so. About the month of May, I haven't been able to wake up and keep myself up to read them. Until I recently. Since all this happened and I decided to stay in utah... I've been waking up... WIDE awake 5:30 AM for the last few days.)

So My house is a wreck, contracts are shredded, so long condo on the beach and nice income. My current condo sprung a leak at my washer dryer hookups. The shower broke, and the chain to flush the toilet in my bathroom broke,Dishwasher is on the fritz. At least I'm at peace with my decision.

"Honey, I'm home!~"