November 15, 2007

Don't Get It Twisted

...And don't let my absence fool you.

I own the Sandbox, all the marbles and other toys in it.

Don't start no stuff, wont be no stuff.

Take your insecurities and Jealousy and be off with you, little one.

Love encourages respect, trusts, and brings peace, not selfishness, manipulation and frustration.

Desperation in such an ugly thing to witness

I will not be moved or stayed

I will not be controlled.

In my time and on my terms

Time and Distance are best friends

I will act out of love for those I do love.

Those who love me will act from their love for me.

My people will do what is right, regardless of the wrong pressed upon them

I am Wonderful, Gorgeous, Fun, Amazingly Talented, Spiritual, Obnoxious, Loud, Crazy.

Kids and puppies Adore Me... as they should.


Consider me a threat.... a force to be reckoned with.

(Don't make the ghetto chick come out in me again.... y'all hear?)

Raising The Bar!

Nooooooooooooooo, not THAT bar. Not the Liquor bar either.

Bring on..... the Cereal bar. One of the fun parts about my job is as a Senior Customer Support Rep... at least for now... we get to do things to bring up the department morale and promote unity and achievement of shared goals.
For November/December, it's MY turn to be the chairperson of all of that. Last month we hit the Octobefest theme really thick. I'm suprized I didn't gain 50 lbs with all the bratwurst, crackers, cheese,pretzels and apple beer floating around the department. And we topped it off with, of course, me as the beautiful butterfly for halloween!
Im happy, because I actually lost weight. Gotta love it when that happens.

Well for November I am absolutely fooded out. So what did I plan? Another food thing of course. But nothings as heavy as what we had for October. I just wanted to lay low and take it easy since it feels like we've been playin catch-up all year.

What i proposed was Cold Cereal Bar! Oh I have a special love of the cold cereal. My Daddy worked at Kelloggs, ya know. I'm really tight with tucan same, Cornelius, Snap, Crackle, Pop, Diggem' and Tony Tiger. Theyz my homies and have been a part of my whole life!
I took a Poll and asked everyone in the department their favorite cold cereal. Never in my life did I realize there were so many other NASTY cereals out there. I AM partial to kelloggs. Kelloggs and post are less than 5 miles apart in the city I grew up in. And you could tell when Post burt the post toasties :-P the city stank for days.

When I went off to college, my daddy sent me a case of the mini fruit loop boxes, a case of the mini raisin bran boxes and a case and a half of the Strawberry Frosted PopTarts. He called it "breakfast food storage." I called it "INCOME!" That's right I sold off much of my stock to those poor college students who where broke but shared a love of the Cold Ceral like myself. Oh I was my best marketing director.
My roomate Pam sitting at the breakfast table eating her yogart. Me, munching down a couple small boxes of Fruit loops.
"Hey Pam" says I

"You need some fruit loops with your yogart, girl."

"Huh?" she says?

" You're missing the fruit loops with your yogart" I repeated.

"I'm not sure what you mean" She says.

BIG SIGH! "WHAT?????? you mean you don't crush up fruit loops in your yogart? Girl, where are you from? You put peanut butter on pancakes, but not fruit loops in Yogart?"

I walk over and crush a couple of fruit loop on her spoon full of strawberry yogart.

"Go ahead, give it a try..."

She obeys.

"Hey that's yum! I really like it!"

Well you know it's only 50 cents a box. Did you want one or two boxes?

"gimme 2 of em."


Eventually 1/3 of the apartment complex are regular customers

I'm walking through the courtyard and I see good ole Bubba.
"Hey BUBBA! What's up my southern Studd!" I call out.
"Hey Sweet chocolate, come and gimme some sugar!" man I loved them southern boyz.

"Bubbz, where did you say your brother is on his mission?" I ask

"Oh he went to France." he says.
About this time I start cracking up trying to picture a southern boy speaking French.

"well you know, they can't get the stuff they're used to over there. Why don't you come by and buy a couple mini boxes of Cereal for his care pkg. I'll even throw in a box of strawberry frosted Poptarts for free, since he's doing the Lord's work!"

" Sweet chocolate I love the way you think! I'll be by directly!"


***Side note! I luvz me some southern boyz. That apartment full of southern boyz was very very good to me! I had a car and that is a luxury at college. People would want to borrow it to get groceries and things and I would cost 1$ to get my car keys and then another dollar for everyone who was riding in the car.


But them southern boyz after the first time they borrowed my car, I stopped charging them. Because when they returned my car, the gas tank was willed, the car washed inside and out and if it was time th oil would be changed too. Did i say I luv me some southern boyz? After a while I stopped charging them period.

Ok back to my cold cereal bar. Wendesday we had a cold cereal bar for work. IT WAS AWESOME! there were about 10/15 diffent kinds of cold cereal to choose from. There was so much cereal left over, we had cold cereal bar this morning at work too. And there is STILL some left over, so for tomorrow, YUP, cold cereal bar. Everyone loves it!
Who doesn't like cold cereal?
Think about it. It's the middle of the night you can't sleep. The late show, late late show, and much too late show have just gone off. The only thing left are your insomnia and infomercials.
Your stomach growls a little so you grab a bowl, get the ice cold milk, open the cupboards and pull out a box of.. mmmmmmmm!
Sugary sweetness!
Fruit loops, Strawberry Shredded mini wheats, Captain crunch w/ crunch berries, I gotta have my pops cuz I am coo koo for cocoa puff, they're Grrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaat!

So what if the spoonful was so big that the cereal is tearing up the roof of your mouth! It takes you back to saturday mornings in your pajama's watching the superfriends at the hall of justice.... wondering what the wondertwins marvin and wendy are going to "Activate" into now, or if Pinky and the Brain will EVER figure out how to take over the world.

I recommend a cold cereal bar. Suggest it at work next friday. If your office doesn't have a budget for it , then just tell your people to bring their favorite cold cereal and a bowl, and you'll supply the milk. I bet your office will soon be after your lucky charms!