April 28, 2011

"Dear America..." Part One






Dear America,
The World has a way of disciplining your Children if you don't.
sincerely,
The Warden


Dear America,
If you think Education is Expensive, try Ignorance
Sincerely,
Pell Grant.

Dear America,
Some Pets should Spay and Neuter their Owners
Sincerely,
ASPCA

Dear America,
I am more than happy to provide your children with love, attention, friendship, and companionship if you don't.
Sincerely,
Drug Dealers, Gang Members and Pimps.

Dear America,
Maybe you should give away Free Vasectomies and Tubal Ligations instead of condoms
Sincerely,
Abortion Clinics


Dear America,
I"m still Here!
Love,
GOD


Dear America,
Hope you're having as much fun with your Family, friends and loved ones as I am!
Sincerely,
Xbox, iPad, Cell phones, PC's and Lap Tops


Dear America,
I don't mind if you walk all over me, I promise!
Sincerely,
Side walks, Trails, roads and treadmills


Dear America,
Obesity is UP! Heart Disease is UP and your butts are getting bigger
and yet you STILL ignore us?
Sincerely,
Bikes, Scooters, and Skateboards


Dear America,
What are you waiting for? It's time to start!
Sincerely,
Your Savings Account & 401k



Dear America,
I'm really sick of babysitting
Sincerely,
Your Television


Dear America,
I wish I would have learned how to problem solve, keep a budget, maintain a job and pay bills while living at home,
Sincerely,
Twenty-Something


Dear America,
Can you call next time, I'm really getting tired and over worked,
Sincerely,
Texting thumbs & fingers

Dear America, Try hanging out with me once in a while.
I'm a really fun and cheap date!
Sincerely,
Your Community

Dear America,
You should really be nice to Customer Service Agents
who have access to your Name, Address, Phone Number,
Social Security, Date of Birth, and Credit Card info.
Sincerely,
Corporate America

Dear America,
Teach your kids how to cook, clean and do laundry.
Sincerely,
Their Future Roommates and Spouses.


Dear America,
Thank you for the fuel!
Sincerely,
The Fire

Dear America
Thank you for all the potatoes!
Sincerely
The Couch!


Dear America,
It's Cheaper To keep her,
Sincerely,
Divorced Man

Dear America,
You are Mistaken:
Handicapped and Obese are NOT the same thing
Sincerely,
Bathroom and Parking Stalls


TO BE CONTINUED