October 15, 2007

The "Do Over"

"Sometimes, passions were too strong, convictions too deep, perspectives too contrasting to reach agreement on a call. Still, it was understood that unless the opposing team was being absolutely unreasonable or cheating, preserving friendships and, even more importantly, continuing the game took precedence over a specific play. After the proper amount of heated discussion had taken place, one of the player would finally extend the proverbial fig-leaf by offering his opponent a "do-over", as in "you can do it again."

The do-over was one of childhood's most powerful rites, for it exerted our dominion over the laws of space and time. The clock was rolled back, the game was restored to its exact status as before before the contested event and play was resumed. If the original play was particularly important and the second attempt was dramatically different (e.g. the player striking out instead of hitting a multi-base shot as in the original play), the do-over might be invoked again. This second invocation would give the team another chance thereby insuring that the universal forces of fair play were being righteously maintained.

Yes, it is with fond memories that we recall the do-over a divine method of resolution, and contemplate the untold blessings it could bring if it were somehow extended into our contemporary lives.'

Remember the good ole days when playing kick ball or street ball or whatever we were playing at the time, when things weren't going right or felt horribly wrong it was nothing for us, as kids to call "DO -OVER!" And all would be in agreement. It wasn't about winning or being right it was about being compassionate, fair and maintain friendship and knowing that when things were vastly not in your favor, the same would be extended not based on the person who needed it, but based on fact that fair was fair. When a Do- Over was called all whatever immediate event from the passed that happened would be erased or "off the books" as if it didn't happen. And life would resume from the do-over point, no hard feelings, no grudges, no passed trends expected. And each would do their best to be better from that point on.

Well this passed month I've been evoking the "do over." The "do-over" message seems to have surrounded me everywhere I go lately so I decided when things aren't going right to call myself unto "do-over" and begin from that point on. It's worked beautifully.

I overheard someone say... "you know, you have the power to start your day over at any second you choose. It's within you to stop, and say... "you know what? I don't like how this is going so I'm staring over from this moment on. I'm changing my attitude and making things better as of now' " I really put some thought into that and decided... why not? Who says do-overs can't work as an adult.

I've been experimenting at work for the last month and it works! I've only had to do it a couple times but when things have felt outta whack I've stopped myself and halted everything I was doing and took inventory of my attitude and thoughts and said... "I'm starting my day over." Took a short break readjusted my thinkin and my day really did change and get better from that point on. It has more to do with my adjusting my attitude and wanting it to be a better day. I love that it works so well. Isn't that a do-over?

So can we do that with people? Can I go to someone I'm having a hard time with and ask for a "do-over?" I'm pretty satisfied with most of my friendships, but a couple of them started out on rocky foundation to begin with. And when all you have to go on is insecurities from the beginning, it's on continuous disaster after another. You can't build anything on a foundation of disaster, whatever it is. It's like putting a band aide on and infected cut on your leg that needs cleansing and stitches. It would continue to fester and cause problems. If you don't take care of it properly, you could even lose that leg. I think some friendships/relationships are like that. Some you may have to "do-over" to salvage if you care to salvage them.

Can you do that, start over? I can't recall how many times I've recalled a situation and thought.... " dang, if I could do this all over again I would do it so differently." And how come you can't just start from that moment on and do things differently? What's wrong about a "Do-Over " friendship, it could work couldn't it? This reminds me of one of my favorite shows in Syndication: Quantum Leap!. Gold Ol Sam Beckett and his side kick Al. Love that show. I could watch that show and M*A*S*H all day.

Dr Sam Beckett found a way to time leap within his own lifetime. In doing so he was able to go back and "right that which was wrong." In doing so it also changed future events for the better. Well I can't quantum leap, but I can certainly request a "do-over." Why not? Can I do that with friendships ? And will it work?

You know what, why not? I'm re instating the right for adults to have "do-overs."

"Yes, it is with fond memories that we recall the do-over a divine method of resolution, and contemplate the untold blessings it could bring if it were somehow extended into our contemporary lives."