Happy New Year Everyone! Can I just say I'm happy to be leaving the mess of mixed emotions and confusion called 2008? Oh it wasn't all bad, I had my highest highs and lowest lows this year. I don't remember much of this year after mid June. But my memory is slowly coming back and my thinking is less jumbled and improving with each day. I must admit when I look back at 2008 I get a little upset sometimes because I feel like I lost my whole summer basically. July, August and September are a foggy blur. I couldn't even tell you what I did for July 4th or 24th, or Labor day. I remember going to Michigan and being on a boat ending up in canada. I remember falling down the stairs before going to Michigan. And I remember Halloween and most of everything there after. Yup,that's about it. I see pictures with me in them, but I wasn't there. SADNESS!
The Sadness is I took this part of 2008 to the entry way of 2009 and allowed it to over shadow the many wonderful things that happened and that I can remember.
I dropped the baggage of 2008 at the entry way of 2009 and stepped through the portal into 2009. A little bit wiser, a little bit smarter. My skin is a little bit thicker and I'm a little more cautious for reasons of my own.
I put up with alot of lies, disrespect and other B.S in the name of "turning the other cheek." Quite honestly I've run out of cheeks. I only have 4. (yes I'm counting the 2 you sit on also.) Too many people have mistaken my kindness for weakness and my silence for acceptance. I've been percieved wrong, lied to and lied on, manipulated. And I've kept silent about it for the sake of forgiveness and understanding.
I'm grateful for all of it. Every last bit of it. I learned what I want and what I don't want in life. Who I can trust and believe and who I want by my side for 2009.
Tonight as I step through the entry way of 2009 my vision is more clear and my focus is more, well focused. I will be leaving behind things, people, memories that are not participating in my progress. I'm leaving behind alot. Emptying out emotional closets and mental cupboards. I'm letting go of "security" blankets that no longer service me. Im cleaning up and making room.
Making room for what, you are probably wondering? I'm not sure of what is coming my way for 2009 but I do know this: 2 objeects cannot occupy the same place at the same time. I'm getting rid of those "old acquaintances" that should be forgot and making room for those thing which are uplifting, loving and that belongs. I'm not sure what the new year is going to bring. I'm excited for the adventure. Don't get left behind.