It was with great anticipation that I woke up Saturday morning! It was also 5:00 am! Yeah, that part wasn't so great but it was going to be a great day anyway. I lay in bed going through the events of the day in my mind:
Leadership meeting in Midvale at Golden Coral
Back to Provo by Noon with my Pot O Soup for Super Saturday activity.
Check football scores
To the mall to get the final touches for my Halloween costume
Nap.... this was going to be essential to my mood and energy because in the evening it was all about...
THE CORN MAZE!
That's right! My favorite fall activity! This year, I'd be taking my favorite people with me:
Sandra- she blew in with hurricane Katrina 3 years ago and decided to stay in Utah
Lyn- My sister the transporter/chaperon. Everyone Calls her "Aunty Lyn"
Me- I'm Karyn, Kaydee, Mama Kay.... Shoot, I don't even know what to call myself anymore.
And my crew... which consist of 6 kids from oldest to youngest (ages 17-5):
and Little man or Grand Master J.
We'd all been looking forward to this for about 3 weeks! only 3 of us had been to the corn maze before. So it'll be fun! I was excited. Tired, but excited.
I went through my morning with the greatest of ease and it proved to be a bumpy afternoon. But when we got around to Corn mazin... It was all about the fun.
The weather was the worse weather for the activity. I took a poll. And let me just say.... My kids... they ain't no wimpy kids. Plan B and C totally shot down. Come rain, sleet, snow or darkness of night.... They were going mazin. And it was raining, snowing, sleeting and in the darkness of night. We wanted to do the haunted maze.... but the weather was so bad, the
Haunters did come to haunt. HAHAH! The haunters were scared off by the weather. ( yes, i know that was corny :)
We get our tickets and decide to break off into groups: Sandra, Aunty and the mellow kids which consisted of... the 2 bugs.
That left me with the hyper kids: Dray, Dip, Dap and Little man. ( 3-D and Grand master J was my crew!) They were hyped and ready to go. Each group had an adult with a cell phone, a torch bearer (flashlight holder) and a Navigation Specialist to be in charge of the map.
The ticket master gave our instructions:
"be very careful cuz I don't have insurance if you brake a bone or something. The maze is muddy, wet, slick and has puddles. Enter at your own risk! Here's your map, the rules are posted. Have fun!"
Now any sane adult would have turned around and hit the bowling alley. Nope, not me and my crew... we were off and running! We left the mellow crew and ran through the entrance.
The Ultimate corn maze has may purposes:
1. inside each good cornmaze are hidden post which are listed on the map. The goal is to find all the post before you get tired, cold, frustrated and lost. You find all the post, you get prizes :)
2. All good corn mazes have a circle of doom! This is path that lead you in a confused circle. You'll usually be in the circle and find yourself in the same spot at least twice before you realize it's a circle you've been tracking in for the last 15 minutes. You will revisit this spot a few times befor leaving
3. Haunters. These are people dressed up in masks with spooky stuff like chainsaws and scary masks and grim reapers hidden through out the maze waiting to scare the pee out of everyone. 4. It must big. I mean so big that you feel like pioneer children ... (nuf said)
5. It must have "stalkers" ( I made another corny funny) These are actually workers that roam the maze and make sure rules are being followed. They will also guide you out when the corn crazies hit and ya just can't take no more.
(see rules above)
About 10 steps into the maze... we were literally stopped in our tracks with thick mud!
"DAAAAAAANG!" I said. We were slipping and sliding all over the place. I looked down at little man's feet. He had opened toes slippers/sandals with socks on.
"DAAAANG little man! You let me know when you get cold and we'll stop Ok?"
"ok!" he nodded
I slipped and wavered in my footing and let out a "yelp!" Little man looked up at me and said... "you hold my hand!"
I laughed... yeah, it was probably a good idea so he could hold me up. The 3-D's were about 15 yards ahead of us. I called out to them to stop and wait up. They go to the first passageway and stopped, I'm sure it was more because they couldn't decide on which direction to go.... we caught up to them, just as they bolted the direction they wanted to go.
Little man and I followed. The 3-D's rounded a corner and I could hear them screaming!
"Post 1 We found post1"
And so they did! They took the hole punch attached to the post and punched out #1 on our map..... Then we were off and found post # 2!
We sloshed and slipped and stomped through the mud. "oooopppS!" screamed little man!
"What's up boy?" I inquired..
"my shoe!" I looked down and his foot was in the air, behind him was his shoe. Stuck in the mud! We laughed! I picked the shoe up and placed it in front of him and he slipped it back on. This process would be repeated several times during the night.
The mud was thick. Each step was harder and heavier than the next. Mud would accumulate and pack together until the weight of your foot was so heavy that gravity would cause the mud to fall off and the process would start all over again. You could hear the suction of your shoes and feel the glops of mud hitting the back of your legs when you lifted your foot to walk.
(our muddy "feetzes" less than 5 minutes into the maze)
The maze was treacherous! We sloshed in the mud, slipped in the puddles and slid on the wet corn stalks. We were laughing, screaming, yelping, singing all the while. The D's were indecisive about which we to go at each turn so after about 2o minutes we decided it was little man's turn to lead us. He was our torch bearer. So we put him out in front and said..
"ok.. which way?"
He would look and say...
and away he would go. We'd look at each other unsure. He'd look back at us as if to say....
"Well I'm going this way, and y'all can just stand there if ya want"
and off he would go. There's 2 things I liked about little man leading:
1. he just knew he was leading us to Glory. He walked with such confidence.
2. he always led us to dry Ground. It was as if Moses came and parted the red sea and we walked on try ground.
There was no sluggin through the mud when little man lead us. We called that: P.I.T Priesthood in Training! And it was cool. Weird, but very very cool!
As time passed we also found post #'s 3,4, 5, &9. Laughin, joking, singing and all of that. We passed other groups of people along the way who simply looked miserable!
I decided to call and check on the Mellow crew.... So we phoned my sister to see how they're doing.
"hey, where are y'all at?" I asked... Ok people, now think about it, where was she?
And that's exactly what she said...
"umm think about it... I"M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CORN FIELD!" I could hear Sandra the 2 bugs and laughing their fool heads off.
"Oh, yeah!" I said. "well Im going to scream and tell us if you can hear us so we can gage how far away we are from you.."
So me and my crew start screaming.
"Can you hear us? " I said into the phone? I could hear the bugs crackin up in the back ground...
"Well, you ARE screaming into the phone in my ear...." She said.
UH OH! I had hit and I didn't even know it: THE CORN CRAZIES!
Yeah, the corn crazies are when you've been in the maze so long that you start to lose your mind. Everything is funny, and silly and some what demented! This is the really fun part of the maze, the only sad thing is that it's short lived... and the then come the claustrophobia.
About an hour into this thing, I'm starting to get tired. The 3-D's had taken charge again and we found another post! Cept this post had no number on it and 2 hole punches. My navigation specialist had given up on the map about 30 minutes ago. ( Make sure your navigation specialist can follow a map.)
Not knowing where we were and what post, we just punched # 7 and called it good. And then we were off. We walked about 15 minutes and found another post. It was a post with no number and 2 whole puncher. (haha!) Wait... we just did this. So we took off in a different direction, about 5 minutes later we found a post with no number and you guessed it 2 whole punchers.
And then another group came right up behind us. And then a 3rd group.
All said.. "hey, were just here!"
"AAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" I screamed! THE CIRCLE!
The circle will make a person go totally insane. People have died in the circle. I glanced around to the left and quickly to the right.. searching for the skeletal remains of those who have never seen the light of day again because of the circle. We needed a plan.... someone to get us far and away...
"little man, Lead us out!" I commanded.
With that confidence he had he looked around and pointed..
and on he marched. we followed. I know if nothing else we would be walking on dry ground.
My ankles were bothering me at this point and I knew they would betray me by morning's light.
Just as expected we were soon on dry ground. We reached a long corridor of stalks and in the distance was another post! We were excited as we ran toward it. As we got closer, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was a post, no number.... 2 hole punchers. WOW!
I bit my tongue in order not to cuss. They were looking at me... trying not to laugh. And then we all busted out laughing!
"OK" I announced! "We are officially lost!"
"And we're going THAT WAY!" I said & I pointed. It didn't matter that we had just come from that way.
They ran ahead of me as much as they could run... and then... it happened:
I stepped into the mud and slipped to the right... I yelped! I stepped to the left and twisted my body to compensate for over correcting... I stepped to the left again and my right foot slipped behind me. I screamed! "SPLAT!" I could see the silhouettes of the kids stop and turn. Then the torch bearer shined his light and started walking back towards me.
"she fell!" I heard a familiar voice say.
"Oh my goodness she fell!" It was dip.
"Hey, lets steal her camera and take pictures of her" They ran toward me, and grabbed my camera from the mud and started taking pictures!
Hey guys don't mind me. I'm just sitting here in the wet yukky mud and corn. Just make sure you get my good side. So after a few more mud poses, they helped me up.
(this is SO NOT my good side)
We started off again and about 10 feet later ... "splat!"
I looked behind me and yelled
"we have another man down! Another man down!"
Dip had fallen!
(they got her good side)
The corn crazies had hit us all. I looked at us all. We were a shameful site indeed. I looked down at our feetz. They were muddy and caked over. I looked at little man's feet.
"Are you cold little man?" I asked
He nodded. I pulled his hood on his head.
"Are your feet cold?" I asked? shook his head. WOW. Them must be some good socks I said because they were caked. Well insulated I guess.
"Ok crew, it's time to get out!" I said.
We continued to walk along the path we were going. I wanted to get as far from the circle as possible so I walked to the very edge. Im not sure what end.. and it didn't matter, because eventually we hit every corner.... and still couldn't find our way out. But we did find post 10!
Being on the very edge you could see outside of the maze. We saw stores, A field, The pumpkin patches.
"can we get a pumpkin?"
asked little man shining his light on them.
"Baby, we need to get out!" I answered.
"yeah, we need to get out" He repeated.
We saw cars passing by.. I fought back the urge to run to the fence and yell
"HELP! HELP!" I stood there, looking and feeling like a lost and dirty orphan hanging on the fence.
The path along the edges weren't long before they dragged you back into the actual maze. Soon the signs of civilization would be gone again. I was getting claustrophobic and Dip announced she had to use the bathroom. This bring a whole new element to corn mazin'. We needed to buckle down and really get serious about getting out.
I phoned my sister.... " hey, she said... We're at post # 6!"
"really, we haven't found it yet, where is it?" I asked. lol...
"Umm....Karyn..." she said..
"I know, I know... It's in the corn"
"well, and don't y'all have a map?" she said.
THE MAP! I totally forgot about the map. I hung up and I called my navigation specialist over and asked for the map.
"I don't have it, you do" she said.
"Uh...I do?" I asked? "I thought i gave it to you?"
"I put it in your pocked like an hour ago" she said.
I checked my pockets and there is was, twisted and damp. I unfolded it and just stared.
"Well if we knew where we were that would help, huh guys?"
Just then a dark torchless shadow walked out of the rows of corn. It was a Stalker! Scared the corn outta me!
"hey" dap Pointed the direction we were headed... "is this the way out? she asked.
"Nope" said the guy "But I can show you out!"
YAYE! We cheered. Our hero!
We followed close behind. After about 5 minutes of walking.. it was dap who said..
"WAIT! We only have to get 2 more punches # 8 & 6!"
I groaned inwardly. "AW MAN!" And then Dip backed her up.
" I thought you had to pee!" I said to her.
"Well I don't have to go that bad"
Our hero said... "well I can show to post 6 if you want it's on the way" Yaye... he really was a hero..
So he veered off toward the middle part of the maze..... and low and behold we passed the real # 7. So we punched it.
The guide said... # 6 is a little difficult to find... the post is missing from it. I stopped in my tracks..... "uh.... Does it have 2 whole punches attached to it?" I asked..
"Naw.... That's # 8" He said.
Whew! Because even hero's get lost in the circle. My phone rang it was the mellow crew...
"Hey i said.... We're headed out! IM DONE" i said.
"ok. well we can be done she said.." we think you guys are really close... one of the guides just passed us and said another guide is leading you out."
Wow, that is close.
I affirmed it.
"How many did yall get," She asked
"got em all, I guess # 6 doesn't have a sign on it?"
She said. .yeah, but there are signs pointing toward it, have you seen the signs?"
"well, lemme see, I've seen a mud puddle, I've seen cars going by, I've seen... corn, I've seen Magna and Kennecott Mines.. and a the exit to Paris, But I have not seen a sign for post # 6!"
We found post 6 and rejoiced i the fact that we had found all the post and were headed home.
My steps got stronger. I smiled. We sang "pioneer children sang as they walked... and walked... and walked...."
Another 15 minutes and there is was.... The exit sign.
My eyes welled up with tears
(we made it)
I stumbled toward it. Bowed before it. Kissed it.
We had made it out!
WE turned in our raggedy map and claimed our prizes! Free Fries and Ice cream At Mc Donalds, A free Game of Bowling. WOO HOOO! We were jumping up and down and life was good!
We waited another 2o minutes for the mellow crew.
We stood at the exit until we saw their silhouettes emerge down the path.
My crew broke out in song... "Come, Come Ye Saints..." And threw our arms around them in Joy to be reunited again.
"HEY! what took y'all so long?" I frowned.
"we were headed out until we heard you had them all So we decided, we weren't coming out til we had them all too."
We looked at our watches.... and couldn't believe the time. It just under an hour and a half since we first got there.
IT FELT LIKE DAYS
haha! "well it's time to get some pizza!"
We headed to our vehicles to the pizza place. I didn't know it then... but the night really was just beginning!
(Grand Master J's shoes
the tops & bottoms)
(my life really is like that corn maze)